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Am I right to be jealous?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
My bf got in touch with his old flat mate from year 2 in uni. she is a female and made it quite obvious that she fancied my bf from day one. anyway my boyfriend graduated last year and hasn't been in touch with her. a few days ago she randomly got in touch asking to meet up. he agreed to go, which I thought was random but he said that they were good friends at uni and that he feels bad for always saying no when she suggests meeting up. my boyfriend has no money or job, yet he is prepared to travel an hour and a half to go meet her. he said that they are just going to catch up and reminise about the uni days. he left at 3pm today and is still not back. I asked him to come over tonight but he said he couldn't because he would be with her for most of the day. I am fucking fuming because he knows I hate this girl as she made it so obvious she fancied him. am I in the right or am I over-reacting?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd be annoyed too, but if you can trust your bf you don't have anything to worry about, he could genuinely just be being nice.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There are some things that to me are just not okay. Suddenly spending a lot of time with somebody you haven't been in touch with for a while is one of them.

    I personally would have discussed this with him before he went and met her. There is such a thing in relationships as respect.

    Maybe you are overreacting but this is something you have to be able to discuss with your bloke. I know I could never forbid my bloke to meet anyone as I don't feel that is my right but I also know he would never plan a whole afternoon or evening with somebody like an old flatmate after not meeting for months. If his excuse is that he feels bad saying no, tell him to grow a pair and to tell the girl she can come visit him in his new life now with his gf if she wants to meet him so badly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmmm as jaloux said i wouldnt forbid him to go but ur right id be pretty mad, esp his travelling a long way to go c her, im sure she could have come to see him and meet you also. I mean if its a quick catch up go for coffee i wouldnt be jealous but if my bf suddenly decided to spend a whole day with a girl that fancied him i really wouldnt like that at all.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can understand why you're jealous but i wouldnt go in all guns blazing just yet, this could be a one time thing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi little_tiny_flower,

    It seems like this situation is making you feel uncomfortable and making you jealous when you don't really want to be. You say this girl has made it clear to you that she fancies your boyfriend, is he aware of how she feels?

    What is the most important here is to communicate this to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel. Make sure that he doesn't feel that you are accusing him of anything, but simply expressing your feelings. Perhaps ask him how he would feel if the roles were reversed?

    Good luck :)
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