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Lost my Papa yesterday - when do men always leave me?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So...yesterday my Papa died after a long illness. In a way, I'm relieved for him but obviously very sad for myself. But it's making me feel even more screwed up than I already am over Floor Wanker because now I'm thinking that every man in my life leaves me.
My dad died when I was 13, my other papa when I was 14 and every 'relationship' I've ever had has ended -not because I wanted it to, but because whoever I happened to be seeing at the time didn't want it to continue. It makes me feel as though I'm not worthy of any man actually bothering to want to be with me, as though I'm not good enough or there's something wrong with me and it just makes me feel really shit.
GB x
Title should of course be 'why' not 'when.'
My dad died when I was 13, my other papa when I was 14 and every 'relationship' I've ever had has ended -not because I wanted it to, but because whoever I happened to be seeing at the time didn't want it to continue. It makes me feel as though I'm not worthy of any man actually bothering to want to be with me, as though I'm not good enough or there's something wrong with me and it just makes me feel really shit.
GB x
Title should of course be 'why' not 'when.'
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Comments
GB x
Secondly, this isn't a sign that men leave you. It's a sign that life is short and that you should make the most of every moment that you have. You should grasp every opportunity and never hold grudges.
"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth." - Mark Twain
What you have in two cases is the cycle of life. People are born and people die. That applies to both sexes, it's just in your case it's only been men that have died. In the other case, it's a bloke being an arsehole. Again you will meet people like that, of both sexes.
So sorry to hear about your loss. In must be so hard. We're thinking of you here at TheSite.org towers. You might find it useful to have a look at our article on dealing with death which could offer some suggestions and also has some links to other places that may be able to help you.
MoK is right tho, this doesn't mean that every man leaves you. I think sometimes, when we're feeling really low, it's easy to start to think negatively about everything. In this case you're feeling sad, grieving and not feeling strong or confident, so it gives those thoughts a way in. Don't listen to them Gingerbelle, look after yourself through this hard time, be gentle on yourself and remember that there are loads of great men out there who will want to be with you for you. When you're feeling a bit better, you might want to have a look at our pages on self esteem which might help you feel better in yourself.
hugs *hug*