Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Should I give up or hold on?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Well this is complicated but. I have an ex who cheated on me that I live with. I have a signed contract stating that I have to live in his house with his parents until next year. I seriously don't trust him at all. We are trying to make this work. Although it's alll his fault. I really do love him, like I never loved anyone before. Ugh. I got caught in a love triangle. :banghead:

But anyways....should I give up on trying to get my best friend? He's the most perfect guy out there....but he's in a relationship right now. Should I just break it off with my ex for good? I think I'm jsut scared of being single.

As for my guy friend....I've been in love with him since I was 10! *hug* Well...idk but I really like him. It wasn't until lately I started to think about him lots. He's off in college and I'm stuck in my small town for another year. We are both the same age. He knows how to treat a girl, he's good in school, knows his manners, nice, friendly, and just basiclly a best friend to me. We had a thing for each other I think but I missed it, I think it was one New Years night. But I was too scared to do anything. Thinking about him gives me butterflies all over again.. Sometimes I dream of him.:confused:

I'm 18 now and I still feel the same way. I'm not yet ready to tell him my true feelings until he's out of his relationship, otherwise it'd get weird. Then on the other hand, I have my ex. Who's trying really hard to win me back. But he cheated on me, not once but 4 other times and ditched me at a party for the same girl over and over. Should I give up on trying to reveal myself to my best friend? Or just keep hanging in there? Or give up my past relationship? Or just see and wait what happens?:confused:

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    valenevengeance wrote: »
    I have a signed contract stating that I have to live in his house with his parents until next year.

    What is that? A slavery contract? I am sure you can move out or just live there on the paper and stay with a friend for most of the time. I wouldn't want to live with someone who cheated on me either.

    /e: now where I finished the rest of your post: Don't ever. ever. EVER. try to make up with your 'boyfriend' now. Dump him and talk to your friend about his relationship, maybe it's rocky. If it isn't, and he is really into her, don't manipulate it and wait. You might want to try to drop clues or something.

    good luck.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No I foster care (child services) contract. I can't move out to another place until the summer. Which won't matter, I'd be moving out to college anyways....but I can't move out. Even if I wanted to, otherwisse I'd get in trouble by my worker. As for my friend, he's sooo happy with her....but for some reason I see him get his heart broken by so many girls he became in love with. His last relationship lasted a year, and she cheated on him. He got back into another relationship and well that's lasted a year. I'm not going to sabbatogge his relationship in anyway. If he's happy, I'll admit even though I'm miserable, that I'm happy for him. As for dropping clues...can you give me some clues I should drop? like exmaples or tips? I'm horrible at stuff like that only with him. Not with any other guy. Funny how that works ehh?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am really horrible at clues too. I am very direct and honest and it never harmed me. I guess I just love the tickle it gives me playing with open cards.

    If I was you, I'd just tell him, but I am not strictly advising you that. I am just really bad in keeping my feelings in. You can be happy with your car or not, you'd probably not thinking about purchasing a new one one if nobody is making you an offer (or your car is really seriously crappy).
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok 1) dont try and get back with your ex, he's a waste of time and 2) if your friend is happy in his current relationship dont try anything. Do you really want to risk all those years of friendship to try and steal him away from his current happiness?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Exactly !!
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Ok 1) dont try and get back with your ex, he's a waste of time and 2) if your friend is happy in his current relationship dont try anything. Do you really want to risk all those years of friendship to try and steal him away from his current happiness?

    I've been in your situation before . I lived with the mom of the guy I was dating for a year and a month while we were dating and she even took me under her wing . She then kicked me out .. And I got out of FACS and made it on my own . That was when I was 17 . Now I'm 19 living with my new .. Bf and his rents til we decide what were doing with eachother relationship wise .

    I'd say you need some you time . Your trying to choose between 2 people and that's just playing head games with yourself .
    I'd focus on talkin to your worker about your situation their there to talk to about anything !!!.. And she will be able to assist you in independent living or moving into a temporary home .
    Then if he really wants to be with you male sir he probes to you that you can trust him . Make him wait . Play hard to get .
    He will never learn to treat you with respect if you just sit under his wing the whole time.
    I'd leave your friend that you've had a crush on alone with his relationship . You never know where it will take him . It could be the one r him and since your friends with him I'm sure you'd hate to break them up.
    I you feel that way about his relationships just shone some light on how you feel and see what he says .
    Meanwhile , talk to your worker see what he/she can do for you .
    And hey your still a youngin .. You'll find someone special if you don't end up with one of these boys . :cool:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you. His parents don't want to kick me out. They said if it feels too weird I can move upstairs across from their room instead of living downstairs with my bf? ex? lol whatever he is to me at the moment. I talked to my worker and he said he's willing to support me no matter what choice I made. I could make a different arrangement to live upstairs.

    I think I will take a step back and wait. I will make him wait, make it very hard to get me. If I distance myself from him maybe he won't be so taken me for granted. I'd NEVER would break up my best friend in his relationship that he has now. He really likes her and she really likes him. So I'm not going anywhere near that. I've had that happen to me and so I'm NEVER going to do it to someone else, espechially someone I really care about. I really respect him that much to be happy if he's happy with someone else.

    I know I'm young too... why do I have to be soo serious about finding that guy now? I just realized that. ahaha I hope I do find someone special...the last guys I did go out with ended up being totally bad for me. Which someday I'll post it I think... talking about exes and what made them an ex and what were the good things you learned from them for picking out future boyfriends :) Although I need to find a interesting title then thhat though lol
Sign In or Register to comment.