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ages differences: what's your opinion?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
just a quick question:

what's your opinions on age differences?

xx

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People may frown on a 18 year old with a 30 year old, but almost no one would frown at a 30 year old with a 42 year old. It's stupid really. Over the age of consent, it's nobody's business.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My opinion on them is, that they are inevitable, as long as any civilization isn't the product of some laboratory experiment and every member of the species was created at exactly the same second.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what ever floats your boat within legal grounds,
    though saying that i would have a problem if someone over late 20s started dating a 16 year old, taking advantage imo
    If someones into grannies fair enough, but peados should have their balls chopped over, eyes gouged out and the 2 swapped round
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my opinion varies according to individual cases. The thought of a 40 year old with a 17 year old gives me the dry boak even though its perfectly legal.
    If they get on really well though, its none of my business
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont have a problem with it, each to their own but i think people do not because of the age difference but because of the maturity difference.

    To use Teagans example, a 30 year old and a 42 year old would have much more in common and be on the same level of maturity than an 18 and 30 year old who are 2 completely different generations, the 18 year old being much less mature. The 30 year old could also be seen to be taking advantage.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    curly_boy wrote: »
    what ever floats your boat within legal grounds,
    though saying that i would have a problem if someone over late 20s started dating a 16 year old, taking advantage imo
    If someones into grannies fair enough, but peados should have their balls chopped over, eyes gouged out and the 2 swapped round

    Not to be pedantic but a 'pedo' has sexual interest in prepubertal children (the term 'pedo' is bandied around far too loosely these days). But you're right, a 16 year old barely makes it into the 'consensual' age bracket and, thus, a sexual relationship may well be frowned upon. But, I suppose, it's horses for courses. I have known 16 year-olds that are far more mature and know what they want than many older people.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd love a cougar to snag me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The dicey question that the OP faces (the other thread), which leads onto this discussion, is that this man has known her since a young age.

    Im not saying he had any interest back then, but his position in the OP's life has been quite solid and stable since I think she said the age of 12. Now had this occured with a man of his age that she didnt know so well, would the OP necessarily feel so connected and at ease with this?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that the law should be relaxed if it's a 15 year old going out with a 16 year old. Hell, a 15 vs 16 could be 2 people in the same school year. 15 vs 20 would clearly be criminal though, so the general rule is that as long as both parties are 16+ then it's cool.

    And yeah Teagan you're right. Paedophilia is when the kid is 12 or below. When it's 13, 14 or 15, I think it becomes hebephilia. It's still a crime and punishable by law but to a lesser extant than with paedos. Think of Chris Hansen on Dateline NBC :-)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    from my other post yeah i have knwn him since i was around 12 but that was just to give an idea of how long i have knwn him for

    he says his feelings for me has only recently developed in the last couple of weeks..

    i'll b 20 in March so really there is only 19 yrs difference (he's 39 soon)


    as for my opinion on age differences i really see nothing against it if both are of legal age due to quite alot of family members havin a few age differences between them with my uncle j and his wife k bein the biggest example that i can think of atm..

    j is 44 and k is 28 and the have been together for 10yrs, married for 8, and hve 4 children together and another on the way.


    xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think once both people are 20 and above it doesnt matter so much, but in my opinion an age diff of more than 10 years is too much.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    from my other post yeah i have knwn him since i was around 12 but that was just to give an idea of how long i have knwn him for

    he says his feelings for me has only recently developed in the last couple of weeks..

    i'll b 20 in March so really there is only 19 yrs difference (he's 39 soon)

    I'm sorry but to me it's just so wrong for an adult man to know a 12 year old and later start dating that kid.

    I'm with Suzy, I think age differences can only be valued in context with the two people involved. But I think in most cases, the younger one person is the more sceptical I am of the thing.

    And if no one's getting hurt it's not my business. When it comes to relationships most people have to learn the hard way if they're doing something stupid.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I guess age differences can add extra/different concerns and issues to manage into the relationship - not necessarily all bad but definitely things to think about.

    What these issues are also depends on the sort of relationship you are looking for too. If you just want a casual relationship then probably the biggest thing to bear in mind might be the effect this might have on family - given he is an old family friend. This isn't something to do with the age gap specifically, but something that comes up as a result of the situation.

    However, if you are looking for a committed long term relationship where there is a large age gap then there might be more things to deal with in the future - when you are 50, he'll be nearly 70 for example and heading into old age. Issues may also come up around children - he might want them sooner than you as you are at different life stages - or by the time you are ready, he may feel he is too old. None of these things have to make any difference in a committed and loving relationship - but they are sometimes things that do come up in relationships with age gaps.

    We've also got an article on dealing with relationships that may start in various difficult situations which may help :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    was drunk
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've got a bit of a thing for older women myself...two serious partners, both over 30. Different strokes for different blokes, or, um...blokettes?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i really dnt mind about ages tbh.. i've seen the guy again and im goin to see him again today :) really cant wait.. i've not been this happy in a long time tbh xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    love is blind
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    My opinion on them is, that they are inevitable, as long as any civilization isn't the product of some laboratory experiment and every member of the species was created at exactly the same second.

    hahahaaha.....

    Well I think it depends on the maturity, not the age of the person. And the interest in life and projects.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'll b 20 in March so really there is only 19 yrs difference (he's 39 soon)


    Lol at the "ONLY 19 years diff"

    You were 12 and he was 31...

    It is unusual to have such a gap, its less unusual for a 39 year old to want to start a fling with a 20 year old so be careful you dont get hurt.

    You will not have the luxury of retiring together.
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