Giving Head...Any advice?

Former Member · October 2010

Hi, I'm L and my partner and I have been discussing me giving head. I, as a female, thoroughly enjoy pleasuring him in that way, but he never vocally expresses whether he likes it or not. From his facial expressions and certain quirks that he has, I assume that he enjoys it as well, though I'm not so sure. Could it be that I am doing something wrong?

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Former Member · October 2010

Some guys just aren't vocal, and i know it can feel like he's not enjoying it at all but he probably is.

Ask him to tell you what feels good and if theres anything you need to do differently

Former Member · October 2010

Lexi99 wrote: »

Some guys just aren't vocal, and i know it can feel like he's not enjoying it at all but he probably is.

Ask him to tell you what feels good and if theres anything you need to do differently

:yes:

Former Member · October 2010

If you stop to ask him while you're doing it you can be sure to get a quick answer :d

Former Member · October 2010

Swallow :thumb:

Former Member · October 2010

Or just ask him to be more vocal when you hit a spot which he likes with lots off ooooh's and aaaaah's and "who's yer daddy?" etc.

It would be good to talk to him about it though, because you may be missing some of his highly sensitive spots, such as his frenulum ... and good dialogue can be a great help in building great sex.

Former Member · October 2010

Maybe he is trying to keep himself calm so that he does'nt cum so quickly

Former Member · October 2010

Teagan wrote: »

Or just ask him to be more vocal ....."who's yer daddy?" .

lol :d

I wouldnty worry, i think its quite normal to lay back and shut your eyes.

Former Member · October 2010

sepumseeme wrote: »

lol :d

I wouldnty worry, i think its quite normal to lay back and shut your eyes.

i saw that too, i think if anyone said that to me i would seriously consider biting it off

Former Member · October 2010

Keep an eye on the toes for any signs of swirming - I always find that's a bigger give away than any vocal encouragement...

Former Member · October 2010

Is his cock in your mouth? Then you're doing it right

Just one point though - a few women I've been with in the past used to do this really strange thing of just putting my cock in their mouth and wanking me off at the same time. I'd just be looking down at them thinking "what exactly are you doing?"

Use lots of lips and tongue action, make sure you work his 'banjo' (the bit running from underneath the helmet, right down. Just go down as deep as you can, push your lips out so as much of the inside of your mouth is in contact with the cock, push your tongue up hard underneath it (you won't hurt him) then 'slide' your mouth up and down. Keep your teeth out of the way (or just 'out' if you're that sort of age) and you won't go far wrong

Former Member · October 2010

Glenn Quagmire wrote: »

Just one point though - a few women I've been with in the past used to do this really strange thing of just putting my cock in their mouth and wanking me off at the same time. I'd just be looking down at them thinking "what exactly are you doing?"

Porn star style. It's not good, is it?

Former Member · October 2010

most guys are not really vocal, most just like to lie back and enjoy it;)

i have an amazing technique that drives the guy crazy!

1st of all you slowly run your hand up and down his cock to get him started and to ensure he is rock hard :P
2nd tease the tip of his cock with your tongue (pressure point, drives them crazy!)
3rd if you can deepthroating nice and slowly then fast..

always works a treat when you take turns between 2 and 3

try that and see how it works

Former Member · October 2010

LadyLover wrote: »

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

This was posted in the past by one of our past sex-gods :

_guest wrote: »

The first rule of good head is that you have to enjoy it. No amount of going through the motions will compensate for real enthuasiam about pleasing your fella, it's cliched but true. If they know [er, or think] you worship their cock then they will be incredibly aroused. If I don't like something sexually then I won't do it regardless of how much wheedling a man might do. Luckily blow jobs are very easily made extremely enjoyable to the lady too.

Getting down to business, I would say it's important to take your time even if he wants to rush (common problem) as it does - in my experience - increase the intensity of the orgasm the longer you make him wait for it. Eye contact is essential, not always easy but every now and then look up and catch his eye. I think I had too much time on my hands back in the day as I remember spending aaaages practising a cheeky smile that I could do more with your eyes and cheeks than my mouth (as that was pretty full). Eye contact suggests sexual confidence even if it is all bravado, and if he's a porn fan then it'll probably remind him of some filth he's watched once upon a time

As for what to actually do with your mouth and tongue, it's basically an open playing field. There are so many different ways to stimulate a penis other than just fucking it with your mouth as fast as you can. I can't be bothered with that anyway, it takes all the enjoyment out of blow jobs for me as I'm thinking about rythmn etc rather than getting into the spirit of things. I also tend to drift off into thoughts of what I'm going to put in the coloured wash. Familiarise yourself with the sensitivity of different areas. Of course every man is different but basically the major concentrations of nerve endings are in the same places. Good places to lick slooowly are the length of the shaft (veins up the front particularly), ridge around the base of the helmet, the testicles, sides of the testicles and the perinium. If he's clean and you're brave then you can go for broke with the anus.

In my humble experience the more teasing the better, frustration is a turn on in itself as long as it's not too drawn out. Work your way down there slowly. Again, take your time. If he's an impatient headpusher (bad, bad, bad) then I have always taken to tying his hands up so I am completely in control. Nothing kills the vibe like a palm on top of your head shoving your down there. You can kiss and lick slowly and firmly on the tummy, hips, inner thigh and then in a little figure of 8 over his testicles gently. Blowing gently on the places that are wet - where your tongue has been - is very effective.

Rank as it probably sounds, you need to learn to do a lot of drooling. Really work up a lot of spit to make it really wet as ideally you want to coat the whole of him. If you get this down then you can also use your hand to wank him at the same time as sucking him so that you are stimulating the whole of him at once [and making things easier on yourself = bonus!]. If you carry on with this then he will probably come fairly quickly. But you don't want to let him do that! Seriously, get him as wet as possible. Don't be afraid to really dribble over him (sexy!) and employ your best "naughty porn star" face. After that I would suggest just letting yourself go nuts and lick him all over - balls, his shaft, the back of the penis (oh-so-often neglected), just kissing and licking and sucking and doing the old crazily exagerrated "mmmming" as you go. Is good to learn to alternate in perfect rhythm. Slide your tongue up the shaft from balls to tip, then go down on him old-school style for just one head bob, then lick then bob then lick then bob. Drives [some] men wild as they can't decide what they like more, though you do get some who tell you to pack it in.

It's a lot to take in, and basically you need to just go with it and guage his reactions. Above all - variety, rhythmn and enthusiasm along with a lot of saliva will see you right. Listen to the noises he makes to know what really does it for him. But don't have a set pattern, do what YOU want to do and in the order you fancy. Ask him what he likes, talk about it. Everything I know about going down on blokes has been learned from blokes, they know better than anyone what stirs their loins.

Just an aside on deep throating though it probably won't be your bag until you're a lot more comfortable with fellatio generally. It takes practise but is worth the trial and error if you're a plucky one! I think it also takes a lot of love (or at least desire) because it ain't exactly a walk in the park. If you can't do it just take him as deep as you can comfortably once in a while to let him feel you just want to gobble it up. There is no pressure for deep throating as most of the sensitivity is in the tip anyhow, but if you want to perfect the art then why the fuck not go the whole hog I say! I've always found it to be easiest from a sort of 69 position with you on top so your head is the other way up to his penis. You have to learn to open and relax the back of the throat and have your head tipped back sword swallower stylee... as weird as that sounds. It takes practise to do it without gagging, but the times I've pulled it off have made the perserverance worthwhile.

Whatever you do, make sure you make excited, encouraging noises so he knows you are loving it. There's nothing more of a turn on than thinking that the person who is giving you oral sex is REALLY enjoying it. When he comes let him come deep in your mouth for some of it, and then open you mouth slightly and hold your tongue just under his helmet so he can watch it, er, dribbling over your lips. Look up with your [now perfected] cheeky smile, swallow, purr like you've just had a gobful of hot chocolate and voila. After that my instinct would be to move up and kiss him and lie together so he have a kip. If you've done your best work then he will need shut eye and so will you.

It sounds like a fine art and maybe it is. It sounds very strange to say but being able to give good head has infinitely improved my sex life and relationships. Make sure you get yours too though, if you're into it. Straight after probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but don't let it be forgotten that next time it bloody well better be your turn!

I would like to tack onto this: don't worry about it. It's fun, it's funny, it's enjoyable for both of you. If it isn't then don't bother... I certainly wouldn't bother if I didn't like doing it.

Former Member · October 2010

Thanks so much to everyone for all the advice, I'll be sure to try everything I've had suggested. Again, thanks so much

Giving Head...Any advice?

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