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confused about relationship
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have considered breaking up with my boyfriend (of 4 years) a few times, but never gone through with it.
Which makes me think that deep down maybe i dont want to?
He's making me miserable in a variety of ways (nothing major like cheating or violence), and i'd often prefer to spend the time by myself rather than with him.
The fact that he makes me feel this way makes me think that the right thing to do is end it, but i dont want to regret it a few months down the line if we do split
Its just a risk i'll have to take, isnt it?
Any comments appreciated!
Which makes me think that deep down maybe i dont want to?
He's making me miserable in a variety of ways (nothing major like cheating or violence), and i'd often prefer to spend the time by myself rather than with him.
The fact that he makes me feel this way makes me think that the right thing to do is end it, but i dont want to regret it a few months down the line if we do split
Its just a risk i'll have to take, isnt it?
Any comments appreciated!
0
Comments
You have to do what makes you happy and you can't stay in a relationship for the sake of it, it will make neither of you happy! Have you spoke to him about it? Maybe a break from each other rather than ending it completely would be good?
The thing is, i have really strong feelings for him, like nearly everything about him as a person, and we share alot of common interests and views on things.
I know that if i could stop him doing the things that he does that hurt so much, i would'nt even consider splitting with him.
He doesnt currently know how im feeling. Although he knows something is up from the vibe i must have given off recently.
I know i need to talk to him, and tell him exactly how i feel. But i dont see how it will help the things that are wrong. If he then changes its just to keep me happy rather than it being how he is naturally, if that makes sense?!
Hey Blah, sounds like this is a difficult decision time for you - you mention wanting to stop him doing certain things - are you able to talk about what these are, either to us on TheSite or to trusted friends and family members? It might help you to work out the best way forward.
It can feel really hard when you're unable to open up to a person who has been so close to you, yet when you take that step to be open and honest with someone it can be a massive relief. It's kind of the staple for TheSite relationships forum, but the communicating as a couple article really does hit the nail on the head when it comes to working through difficult times. Obviously the conversations you guys might have in the immediate future might be more about moving on, but I guess the only way of really knowing that for sure is by facing things while you're still in a partnership. Here's a link - http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/couples/lifeasacouple/communicatingasacouple
Be good to hear how you're feeling about it now. Take good care of yourself.
It's hard, for sure, but trust me when I say it's harder to spend years with someone that makes you unhappy.