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break up
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
how does sumone that you love that you have been with for 4 yrs and have a child together just walk away. im hurting he said he wants to be bestfriends with me but i just cant see that will help me.
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Comments
It's hard to walk away in that situation which suggests that he didn't "just" walk away but that there's more to this.
You need to talk to him, he clearly wasn't happy about something.
How are things? This must have come as a real shock, particularly if you were not expecting it. The first few days and weeks are the hardest, but things will get easier.
MoK is right that it might be a good idea to try and talk to him about why he feels like he wants to leave and how he sees things working in the future. Maybe write him an email or call him up and ask to meet in a neutral place like a pub or cafe to have a proper talk. Do you have someone who can look after your child for an afternoon? Think a bit about what you would like to say first and try to stay calm - hopefully this will encourage him to open up too.
It's understandable that you might be uncertain about the idea of being 'best friends' particularly at first. It's certainly possible to be friends with an ex and obviously best to be on at least speaking terms when a child is involved - but you need to decide what is right for you. Some people find it useful to spend some time without much contact while they grieve for the relationship and move on, and then, when both people have moved on, you can think about being friends again.
Let us know how you are getting on. Hopefully you have friends and family who you can lean on for support - but we're here for you online as well. *hug*
Hi mumof1 I hope your ok, I really feel for you i know how hard it is when a relationship goes bad, just try focus on your child and although it will be extremely hard at first you will get through it. As for been friends i dont think that will happen for a long time, you will need to be civil for your childs sake but i think if at all possible dont see him for a while to try get your own head sorted out.
if you can arrange for someone else to meet him if he is to see your child then do that because it will make things a little easier in the beginning.
Has he told you why he wants to split up? Maybe you both just need some time apart to realise you want to work things out. hope your ok *hug* cari x