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I'm 21...she's 16...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Is it wrong?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    probably not. What is making you worried about it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not just because of that. I dont know if theres anything else that makes it wrong
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, it's legal in the UK. But I think morally, it depends on her mental maturity.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sleeping with her... Her older sister isn't verry happy about it because of our ages.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well she probably has a good gauge on what her sister can handle. Is it just sex? Do you have any mutual friends with this girl that can help you with this dilemma?

    You won't get any definite answers from us, because we don't know the circumstances well enough. If you're worried enough to post about it, well that sounds like you're a conscientious sort of guy, which is great. You know better than us her level of emotional maturity, and only you can decide if it's wrong or not.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think so at all.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nothing Else wrote: »
    I'm sleeping with her... Her older sister isn't verry happy about it because of our ages.

    If the sister doesn't like it, then that's her problem. If it's true love then nothing should get in the way.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if ur in the uk then its legal but in all honesty, at later ages its fine that sort of age gap but most 16 year olds aren't ready for a relationship with some that old, this if my personal feelings and i think its a bit wrong but i'm not gonna stand in the way of it because it wouldn't be my palce to say
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would dislike whoever my little sister was with initially, so it might be about that as much as the age gap. Maybe you could talk to her sister to see what her concerns are, or if she knows something that you don't?
    I don't think it's wrong that you're together, but it might be worth remembering that your girlfriend probably acts stronger and more mature with you and her friends than she does with her sister.
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    exposedexposed Posts: 31 Boards Initiate
    As you get older, 5 years isn't really a big gap. I guess it all depends on maturity. When I was 16 there were some girls who were very woman-like in their behaviour and quite mature for their age, whereas some of them still acted like 12 year olds.

    Only you and her will be able to tell.

    My girlfriend is 23 and I'm 28, we've been together two years and it's mostly okay. However I at the age of 16 she was very immature and unable to do anything without her mother helping her, whereas I was 21 - just coming out of uni, living on my own and working etc... so it all depends on the situation
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    With my first boyfriend, I was 17 and he was 22, and it wasn't a problem for us. It's perfectly legal and if it feels fine to you then go for it, and sod what other people think, but do remember that she is quite young and she might not be mentally in the right place for some things yet.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you have to ask, it may be.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Only if you're asking spontaneously, not if you're asking because of what other people say. I went out with a 17 year old when I was 21. I don't think there was anything wrong with it, but it didn't last long.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She's quite mature for her age. Alot more than her friends.
    I'm not looking for anything serious and i dont expect it to last but it's not just sex. I genuinely enjoy being with her so it cant be a problem? Thing is im kind of a friend of her sister...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nothing Else wrote: »
    She's quite mature for her age. Alot more than her friends.
    I'm not looking for anything serious and i dont expect it to last but it's not just sex. I genuinely enjoy being with her so it cant be a problem? Thing is im kind of a friend of her sister...

    Mature for her age doesnt necessarily mean she is mature. Just be careful is all I say :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're sleeping with a friend's little sister, don't expect them to be pleased about it. You might also find yourself girlfriend and friend down when you break up. You're already going it though so... I don't think continuing will make it worse.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Plus if things do go wrong, at the age she is, it doesnt matter how old she is, she will take it badly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not illegal, so the simple answer is 'no'. Of course, people have said about her maturity, but this is relative and can be applied to people over 18 as well. Just assess the situation and make a judgement on whether it's a good idea or not. Not many people probably know better.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, I'm in a 30 year age gap relationship so I can't really criticise. Any relationship comes down to compatibility, and age is just one factor in that. You might think my maturity doesn't match my partner at 30 years my senior, but we share a common mentality of about 35 years old, and we want the same things from life and have the same taste in music and movies...so what's wrong there? Nothing.

    If you and you gf are happy and compatible, you're already doing better than a lot of relationships ever manage.
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hey rosie,
    I'm going to close this thread as it's relatively old now and so not sure the original poster is still looking for advice... Best to check date first before posting. :)
This discussion has been closed.