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Why a people so insensitive!?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
*To mods - wasnt really sure where this belonged so feel free to move.
The other day I overheard two people I know quite well making fun of people who self harm, are depressed or feel suicidal. I was sitting quietly in the corner but they knew I was there. One of them knows about my past and about my problems with self harm and depression.
But when they started to mock people for things they cant help, it hit a raw nerve for me and I could feel myself getting very angry at them. They were making jokes about how 'only weak people self harm' and were laughing at each other as one of them was pretending to self harm with a pen. It really upset me and in the end I just left.
Am I being unreasonable for getting so angry about it? Should I have let them know it bothered me as to avoid the situation in the future?
Thanks for any replies x
The other day I overheard two people I know quite well making fun of people who self harm, are depressed or feel suicidal. I was sitting quietly in the corner but they knew I was there. One of them knows about my past and about my problems with self harm and depression.
But when they started to mock people for things they cant help, it hit a raw nerve for me and I could feel myself getting very angry at them. They were making jokes about how 'only weak people self harm' and were laughing at each other as one of them was pretending to self harm with a pen. It really upset me and in the end I just left.
Am I being unreasonable for getting so angry about it? Should I have let them know it bothered me as to avoid the situation in the future?
Thanks for any replies x
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Comments
If you know them quite well I think you should think about bringing it up with them in private about how much it upsets you. However, if you think that they're the sort of people who could just laugh at you and tell you to grow up and stop being so sensitive, it might be a good idea not to tell them this, as you could just end up putting yourself out to be hurt further. x
Oh yeah, this. I have one best friend who's always known about my self harm, I've asked her to make the person I mentioned earlier to stop mocking self harm before. If you don't feel strong enough to say it yourself, is there someone you could ask to say it too them for you? They wouldn't have to relate it specifically to you.
Is he known for being rude?
If so, then perhaps lessen contact with him.
Whatever the reason behind their stupid and naive comments it's really better to just accept that they have no idea what they're talking about. People with an uneducated opinion don't really have an opinion. They have a speculation at best, and that's if they're even trying to understand.
Self harm and suicide are not joking matters. People greatly misunderstand both of these issue and often present 'facts' that simply aren't true. One of the most common being that people who talk about suicide don't do anything about it. Actually it is the opposite. The majority of people who commit suicide have let their intentions be known in one way or another.
Self harm is a coping mechanism and usually, though not exclusively, is of a different mindset to suicide. Self harm is a way of dealing, not a way of giving up. Again there is no hard and fast rule here, there are always exceptions. Self harm on its own, however, is still traumatic, life affecting and potentially dangerous. We end up self harming because of depression of one kind or another, it's not like we're choosing to be there. As for the 'attention seeking' argument, well most people would seek attention if they were feeling like their world was over. Yet many self harmers I have known have been very secretive and have only been found out through misadventure.
There are people who have lived through self harm and shared in it who will always understand. Others will at least have the intelligence to understand that it is not a good place to be. The ones who mock are really not worth bothering with. They will soon crave sympathy when some pain or other lands on their doorstep, the only difference being that they will feel that their pain is legitimate whereas they think ours isn't.
You know what your situation feels like, you know how dark a place it can be. You don't need anyone to confirm that for you but yourself. Support would be nice, sure, but seek it from those with the maturity and sense to provide it.
Breathing calms us down.
Thankfully due to hectic school schedules I havent come across these two people as yet, not to say I wont in the near future.
I just think there should be more thought put in before sensitive subjects are aired. I dont mind if people take care when talking about the subject, but to blatently mock people seemed cruel in my eyes. I know a few people who have been through many more troubles in life than I have, and i know for a fact they would be deeply hurt by the shamefully uncaring comments made by my peers.
However I am very tired and have had a very large shock today as a friend of mine needs urgent surgery because of a tumor. I think I'd be best to stop ranting now before I upset myself or say something I dont mean. x
With that being said, I've noticed a pretty severe "twist" on the way that cutters (I hate that term btw), have been viewed in modern society, and I believe it all started with the whole "emo" trend that became popular a few years ago. Hear me out on this...
I used to self-mutilate in the mid/late 90's when I was in High School. I had some friends that did as well. At the time, "emo" didnt exist, and that whole "scene" was non-existant. During this time, people who mutilated where (at least in my experiences) treated with a lot of pity, and it was taken as a very serious thing. I don't recall anyone EVER making fun of another human for doing this. It was a very serious issue that nobody joked about. The people that cut themselves didnt "show it off", or spout "self pity", or anything like that. They tried to hide it. I remember my best friend and I would wear multiple bracelets on our wrists to try to hide our scars. That was the culture at the time, the people that self mutilated where very shamed by it and did everything they could to hide that they did it.
I got older and out of this phase, got help etc, went to college, and moved on with my life. Now, 5-6 years later, enter the "emo phase". For whatever reason, all of a sudden....the kids that where doing this stuff would "blog" about it, post pictures about it, show off their scars...it became an "attention seeking" device, and society created this huge "group" of people they called "emo's". And people and kids ran with it. Before you knew it, all of a sudden it was the "cool" thing to do. It was cool to cut yourself, wear all black, talk about how sad your life it etc. A 100% complete 180 degrees from what it was when I was in high school.
Sitting back, looking at the differences of when i went through it to modern day kids, its astounding to me how such a serious issue became such a mainstream thing to do. Now, i'm not saying people that hurt themselves now are just looking for attention, but I do think there are some that skewed the image. Theres just such a big difference between my high school days to modern day, and it always made me wonder why.
I think this is the reason why people make fun of it now. There is always a group of people that will make fun of the "popular" things. And I think when the whole "Emo" scene became mainstream like it has, it became an instant target for people to mock/make fun of. And its really sad, because there are some people that really DO need help.
Bottom line, there are always people who like to make fun of the things that are popular. And due to the popularity of the "emo" scene in the past 5-6 years, Masochistic's have become one of the new targets to be made fun of. Its really sad and a shame, because there are some genuine people that need to find help and this doesnt help matters at all. I dont know what I would of done if i was ridiculed for my behavior when i was in high school.
Sorry for the rant on this topic, but It just kind of hit home to me. Is there anyone out there who also sees the difference that I tried to explain up there? It really boggles my mind how societys view on things can change so quickly.