If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
We dont socialise
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have been with my partner for 7 years, engaged for 2. I am 25 he is 31. We have had a fantastic relationship over the years, but over the past few years i feel things have changed.
I dont think we socialise as a couple like we should. We used to do at the beginning of the relationship. We both work full time and dont have any children at this moment in time although we are talking about starting a family. I suggest going out for a nice meal or going out for a few drinks at the weekend and he always gives me a negative answer such as "we'll see" or "oh no do we have to". When his friends ask him to go round for drinks he jumps at the chance.
I dont think i am asking for much i just want to get a bit dressed up and have quality time together and have fun but he is not interested.
I love him dearly and i dont want to end the relationship, but if things dont change i feel i have no choice but to end it.
We are young and should be going out together and having fun, not staying in or seeing friends separately, i mean we have no children or commitments, i want to enjoy ourselves before we start having a family when it might be more difficult to go out. I know couples 40 years older than us that have a better social life.
I feel now i am making excuses for him when people ask us out as a couple and he wont come, its such hard work.
I would be very grateful if you could give me your thoughts.
I dont think we socialise as a couple like we should. We used to do at the beginning of the relationship. We both work full time and dont have any children at this moment in time although we are talking about starting a family. I suggest going out for a nice meal or going out for a few drinks at the weekend and he always gives me a negative answer such as "we'll see" or "oh no do we have to". When his friends ask him to go round for drinks he jumps at the chance.
I dont think i am asking for much i just want to get a bit dressed up and have quality time together and have fun but he is not interested.
I love him dearly and i dont want to end the relationship, but if things dont change i feel i have no choice but to end it.
We are young and should be going out together and having fun, not staying in or seeing friends separately, i mean we have no children or commitments, i want to enjoy ourselves before we start having a family when it might be more difficult to go out. I know couples 40 years older than us that have a better social life.
I feel now i am making excuses for him when people ask us out as a couple and he wont come, its such hard work.
I would be very grateful if you could give me your thoughts.
0
Comments
We do that sometimes which is good but he never wants to do anything with just the two of us, or if i say my friends have invited us to go somewhere or do something he sais no, i feel like i am banging my head against a brick wall!!
Have you actually told him how you feel and told him that this lack of socialising is making you so unhappy, even to the point that you might consider ending it some day? He may not realise how strongly you feel about this.
It's best not to let these things bubble away under the surface because by the time it explodes out, you may well have fallen out of love for him etc.
Successful relationships work on communication and compromise. Talk to him about it and get him to agree to go out one weekend where you want to go and the next with him, wherever he wants to go (or something similar). But start talking.
Does he like football? You could go round a tour of his teams stadium? Even if your not interested, it's meant to be good fun and interesting...
If you can afford it, or have the time, could you go away for the weekend?
Try think of other stuff to do that isn't the usual 'drink, dinner' thing?