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Stuck between two guys
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Comments
In terms of bloke 2, my advice would be (as per option 2) that you'll need some time to yourself following the break-up to get your head together and let things settle. However, I know life doesn't always work like that, and it may be that once you're out of the relationship and the flat that things become a lot clearer and you decide to give it a go straight away. Just take that as it comes; deal with the immediate issues (the end of your relationship and the house move) first and then hopefully you should be in a better frame of mind to decide what to do about Mr 2.
Good luck with it all - I can well remember that horrible confusing despairing feeling of knowing what you have to do but really not wanting to do it - but you can do it, and it will get easier. Keep posting and let us know how things go
I think what you've said is what my head's telling me to do. I think I need to be with myself and figure out what I actually want. I guess what makes it hard is my feelings for Mr 2.
If I wait until the end of my flat rental then I think it will be a bit easier on all of us. I haven't really felt like it's been going great for a while with Mr 1 but I have had feelings for him in the past and would want to spare him being hurt as much as possible.
I might talk to Mr 1 see if he's feeling like our relationship isn't what it should be, might be best for us to call it off. However long we've been together doesn't mean we should stay together if one/both of us are unhappy.
Sounds as if you have already made the right decision. Perhaps it was the act of writing down your feelings that helped you put things into context.
My only worry would be your asking Mr 1 how he feels about your relationship. You say yourself that he is very controlling. This part of your relationship will be very important to him. If you leave him, he will have no one to control and it will impact on his self-esteem. He is likely to try and talk you out of going ... and, if you do leave, he may not accept that the relationship is over.
Rather than talking to him as you have suggested, I would simply tell him how you feel and end the relationship with the tenancy. He'll tell you that you'll never make it on your own. He'll ask if there is someone else. It'll be a bumpy ride for a while, but I am sure things will work themselves out for the best. Good luck.
I say get rid of him. He shouldn't be controlling you like this.
He's not too keen about the friend thing next year but my parents have moved away so there's no family for me to fall back on here. I think me living with a female friend is better in his eyes than me living with a bunch of randoms (which could include blokes).
Decided not to talk to him about how he's feeling.
Things have been a bit off for a while now, it feels like it'd be easier to let go than I've once thought.
Thanks for all of the opinions.
:thumb:
He's trying to win me over with flowers, chocolates, poetry.
I'm finding it hard to stand my ground. Maybe it's easier ust to go back to how things were. Yeah I wont be happy but he seems to want it.
I shouldn't just fall back on my word though.
Argh! :banghead:
Sorry, don't say I didn't warn you. Of course he wants you to stay. He's nothing without you to control.
You deserve to have your own friends. You deserve to have a life of your own. You deserve happiness. Things will only get worse if you stay.
Stand your ground. End it.