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Life sucks.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've gotten to the point where I'm fed up with everyone. I pretty much came up with the conclusion that I hate everyone around me, and there's no fucking way away from from prison. I'm 19 and I don't have shit. I cant get a job because there is no places hiring. I cant get Financial aid for school because my divorced parents make to much money.... but they don't give me any of it and i do not want to get fucked with loans. The only 2 girls i really cared about are sluts.... All my "friends" are not my friends. I cant talk to my parents because anytime the conversation is over, i want to kill myself. I don't ever sleep anymore. I put on like 20 pounds this last year. My only way out is if i join the army or some shit and If i wanted to do that, i would have.

I just cant stand it....

what do i have to look forward to?

I work so much harder then everybody i know at anything i do, but its pointless because nobody notices anything I do. I just cant get away...

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey,

    I know how you feel. Today was also one of those days for me. I feel as if I have nothing going for me. All I want to say is I posted here less than an hour ago and someone made me feel a small bit better.

    If anything, I just want you to know that its hard but to hold on to one, just one small thing, that mighten't necessarily be happy, but is perhaps just something positive you have to keep you going. Take it a day at a time.

    Talk to someone. Dont end up like me now, where I literally am not able to talk talk to anybody about how I feel.

    Hope you'll have your ray of light soon,

    *Rhia* *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have this day every day, I've never been able to talk to people about how i feel. Probably never will. thanks for caring i guess. Just sick of this life im living right now, was hoping somebody could help me out with ideas of what to do because right now I have nothing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I went to the army recruiter, The recruiters were just tyring to pressure me into joining. I scored an 87 on the asvab and the only jobs available were artiliary, radio and infrantry jobs. I only fight my own wars. After i took the asvab and they gave me a job selection and they came to my house asking me every day for like a week, saying shit like "The door is closing man", "hope you have fun living at home with mom." and I had to tell em to fuck off. If I dont even like the recruiters, Theres no fucking way i would like the military system...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is there any particular hobbies you enjoy?? Something you could perhaps somehow go into full time?? Might help you focus.

    I took a year out from college last year because of a really low spot I hit and just volunteered in my local area for the year. I love art and sports, and so just did art and sports workshops with young kids and teens. It really helped. It lightened up my load, was less stressed. It was something I loved doing and it got me away from the tension and bad vibes at home. It was definitely the best year I did.

    Maybe there is something like that you can look into??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hobbies just stress me out big time. I dont treat hobbies as hobbies. I treat them like something i have to get good at, I always have. Anything I do, i have to do it right or i feel like im wasting my time. Ive been playing guitar for 10 years, and i still have trouble composing good songs. I can write the coolest riffs but then i try to piece them together, I cant get it to work... Its very frustrating. I was brought up in a very weird fashion. Not by family but by friends, so i have a different outlook on everything than most people. That's kinda why i dont tell anybody how i feel, cause most of the time they wouldn't understand. So i dont bother.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That must be hard having no stress reliever of any sort.

    I find my hobbies are a way to de-stress and don't know what I would do without them to be honest.

    I know what it's like living in an estranged family. I've brought myself up as well as 7 other brothers and sisters as my mum and da were always too busy fighting. I didn't have time for friends and now I've no real close friends. But you definitely grow up with a different outlook and you never seem to have that childishness other kids had. That bit more mature for your age.


    Is there anything at all you enjoy for the sake of your own happiness??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not really, thats kinda why im here.. lookin for some answers.... Not really expecting much. like usual
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Unfortunately I cant really give you any great advice as my own life is completely messed up at moment and my coping methods definitely isn'y effctive :banghead:

    But I hope you'll find someone here to help you where I couldn't.*hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi fml, I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling so low.

    I would suggest that you have a chat with your doctor about how you're feeling. You seem to find it very difficult to believe that things could possibly get better for you, which often is a signal of depression.

    CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is a really practical, useful way of tackling problems like this when you feel so low that they seem insurmountable, and your doctor should be able to refer you to a practitioner. The therapist can work with you to address the way you think and feel, as well as positive practical steps you can take to move forward.

    Even if you're not sure from what I've said, it's worth having a chat to your doctor anyway - (s)he can give you more detailed information, you can ask any questions you have, and then you can decide if it's the right thing for you.

    Hope that's of some help to you :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Reading your posts, I am guessing you are not from the UK. May be American?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    fml wrote: »
    not really, thats kinda why im here.. lookin for some answers.... Not really expecting much. like usual

    Dude, I don't want to appear too curt, because I can empathise with how you're feeling, but it seems clear, to me at least, that you've got to take stock of your life and your attitude towards it. If you've come to TheSite expecting a bullet-pointed list of life-changing answers to your problems, then you've set yourself up for a fall.

    You're very quick to dismiss suggestions and give reasons as to why X, Y, and Z aren't possible given your situation/disposition - this seems to be a particularly prevalent mentality amongst people of your mindset. It's also a bit of a cop-out. If you aren't currently able to pick up the guitar and mess about without getting frustrated, then you need to employ a little introspection, analyse why you're getting frustrated, and then attempt to change how you approach your hobbies; mindsets aren't set in stone and can be changed with effort.

    I guess the corollary is that you seem to be letting external phenomenon and factors dictate your mood. What's the use in creating a list of shit that you perceive as being wrong in you life, and then dwelling on it? It probably seems a little glib (though I'm going to stick by it, I think :D), but why fret over things your can't change? You say you can't get financial support because your parents are divorced, wealthy and are not forthcoming with the sharing....if that's really the case, how about just accepting it? It's a bit trite, but accepting the shit you can't change goes a long way to easing worry, man. Sometimes things just are what they are.

    If you really want the education, then take the loan. "I don't want to get in debt" isn't knock-down argument against taking a loan to receive an education.

    I'm starting to wank on a bit now, so I'll leave it for the moment. Take a deep breath and few steps back from yourself, then try to let go of some shit. You're the only one who can really make yourself happy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    fml wrote: »
    I went to the army recruiter, The recruiters were just tyring to pressure me into joining. I scored an 87 on the asvab and the only jobs available were artiliary, radio and infrantry jobs. I only fight my own wars. After i took the asvab and they gave me a job selection and they came to my house asking me every day for like a week, saying shit like "The door is closing man", "hope you have fun living at home with mom." and I had to tell em to fuck off. If I dont even like the recruiters, Theres no fucking way i would like the military system...

    If they came to your house Id possibly complain, that is a bit wrong in my opinion. As for the scores (I assume you are from the UK) a score that high on the tests should have you open to quite a few jobs tbh.

    Its honestly not that bad once you get through training, im enjoying it still. With certain jobs the money aint too bad either for the amount of work you do, however you can get dicked with random duties and exercises here and there.

    It balances out though.




    As for you "slut" friends, how does their sexual exploits effect you? I understand you may not approve of the life they lead, but if it doesnt directly affect you, let it go a little, keep them if they are good friends :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive just had a check on "asvab" and it looks like its for the US army? If so discount my views, I only know about the British Army.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like your concentration is shot to shit. This is also a indicator of depression, and a damn frustrating one at that - I know how it can feel to be stuck in a stall because of it. Get yourself to the doctors, if it is depression, anti-ds will help
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The key OP is to plan.

    Plan what you want out of life.
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