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Talking to doctors
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
How does anyone get around to saying things that are difficult to doctors (or equivalent)? I have been trying for weeks to tell the crisis team that I seem to spend half my evenings sat up trying to find someone to talk to and trying to distract myself from feeling suicidal, but I can't. I will start to and then just lose my nerve. I feel like I need to explain this to someone because otherwise my friends will have to leave me to look after themselves. Not because they're bad people, I'm not criticising anyone; they have to take care of themselves, but I'm feeling a bit lost and scared at the moment.
I know that most of the time I can keep from doing anything too silly (mostly by self-harming because I feel like I can control that) but I'm scared. Sometimes I get so worked up that I lose sight of the things that I'm supposed to keep myself safe for (my place at university, church and my faith, my friends and girlfriend, etc.) and get carried away. It's already happened once before and it's only because my housemate came back early and worked out what was going on that I didn't take everything I had and she took me to hospital. I just don't know what to do to stop it happening again.
I know that most of the time I can keep from doing anything too silly (mostly by self-harming because I feel like I can control that) but I'm scared. Sometimes I get so worked up that I lose sight of the things that I'm supposed to keep myself safe for (my place at university, church and my faith, my friends and girlfriend, etc.) and get carried away. It's already happened once before and it's only because my housemate came back early and worked out what was going on that I didn't take everything I had and she took me to hospital. I just don't know what to do to stop it happening again.
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I've the same problem so your not alone in that regard. I know I need help, I dont have any close friends to talk to and I'm not close to any family. The friends I do have would never dream about asking something so personal about me as to how I would be feeling and such. So the doctor would probably be the best option before I do something silly. I have never ever talked to someone about how I feel or anything so I'm even finding thhat an insurmountable task. And I think it's a fairly common problem.
Hugs for you to make you feel better*hug*
All the best,
*Rhia*
If so, how about writing a letter to the doctor, explaining the way you are feeling and saying that you have tried to speak about it before but never know how to start the conversation. Keep the letter as brief as possible, but include the really important issues that you need to tackle. Then hand the letter to the doctor when you meet him, and ask him to read it before starting the consultation.
(I can't take credit for this idea. I'm not sure whether I read another similar post on this site, or saw it on TV. But it seemed a good idea, so worth a try perhaps.)
It's just vexing and I feel like I'm wasting everyone's time and making life hard for my friends.
Thinking of you *hug* - it's really good to see you asking for support with the best way to talk to doctors about the way you've been feeling recently.
There was one part of a previous thread that really stood out to me - when you said:
I just wondered whether this was something you could specifically chat to a crisis team about? Helping you to develop ways of coping during these very specific times when you find yourself alone and feeling like things aren't real. As you've been able to pin-point these times, there might be options that a doctor can help you identify?
Also, just a reminder, we have an article on coping tips and distractions with some audio from a support group in Manchester where people are talking the issues.
Take good care and keep posting.
Just read your post and I can relate to it alot.. The part where you say you make these appointments n then can't physically say how you feel. I have done that for so so long! It's frustrating right? I know I used to do it because I just could not accept the fact I was suicidle and self harming! Like slightly embarrased? And also by saying it out loud it kind of makes the situation more real. Do u think u feel the same as this?
But the truth of the matter is, uve really go to bite the bullet n just say it!! Like write a letter like somebody just said, that's an awesome idea! And I'm sure doctors get that all the time so I'm sure they won't critisise u for it!
I was not speaking for a year, everytime I'd see a doctor I'd front it and say I'm fine, just cos it's easier and it's wat we r used to saying yea? I even fronted in my psyciactric meeting and I'm probably not on the right medication now cos I still feel like crap!
So please just say it, say how you feel. I remember when I did actually say it I sat in the doctors room for an hr and just cried, could hardly speak! And she was very understanding and helped me all the way through it!
U don't get noticed until u say!!!
Take care of urself n plz take time n realise wat I'm saying!
XXXXXXXX
hey cloudyday,
Thats how I feel now, always pretending I'm fine. I remember I had to go to the doctor for a completely unrelated issue but he out of the blue had to check my pulse as they had just found a heart problem. He saw numerous shallow cuts on my wrist. I managed to worm my way out of it and there where no more inquiries. Needless to say I avoided the doctors for weeks on end after that and I wonder now if I had the courage to actually say something would it be as bad as it is now.
I really admire you for talking to your doctor and I'm slowly building up the courage to talk to mine. I hope you do too piccolo *hug*
Take care,
*Rhia* *hug*
I think constantly being referred to new doctors doesn't help.