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Nervous and have a Question
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all
Stumbled on this site completely by accident and there seems to be some pretty knowledgeable experts around
.
I need to ask a question / get some feedback and thoughts, but first I'm going to need to tell you some background info.
I've been going out with my gf for just under 6 months now. We are both each others first serious relationship and we are both virgins. We both love each other very much. My gf happens to be very conservative when it comes to sex and sexual activity, and she told me a cuple months ago that she wants to be abstinent until marraige. That news didn't go over well with me, and I tried to cope with it for a few months but realized I wouldn't be happy in a relationship like that. We sat down and had a cuple mature conversations where we eventually came to what we consider to be a fair middleground. She says she will remain open minded in the future, and for now, she will let me perform oral on her. I'm fairly happy with that conclusion and she even told me that she wants it "sooner rather than later" for whatever reason - i have no clue. But with that being said, she's going to be sleeping over on Friday night for her first time (we've spent a cuple nights together at hotel/motels but this will be her first time sleeping over at my house) and I want to go down on her / I think it would be the right time.
I'm a little nervous about Friday night, and I'm kind of wondering what would be the best way, when the moment comes, to ask her if I can do it. We'll be making out in my bed and having a good time ... I would hate to ruin the moment but doing something wrong. I understand there's even a chance she'll say she doesn't want me to do it when I try ... but that's okay too. Bottom line is that I need to try, I'm excited, but want to approach it in the absolute best way possible.
EDIT: Just wanna add, she claims to have never had an orgasm before, (and therefore doesn't masterbate either). So with that being said, having someone touching her down there might be a very weird thing for her.
Any feedback would be welcomed.
Thanks!
Stumbled on this site completely by accident and there seems to be some pretty knowledgeable experts around
.I need to ask a question / get some feedback and thoughts, but first I'm going to need to tell you some background info.
I've been going out with my gf for just under 6 months now. We are both each others first serious relationship and we are both virgins. We both love each other very much. My gf happens to be very conservative when it comes to sex and sexual activity, and she told me a cuple months ago that she wants to be abstinent until marraige. That news didn't go over well with me, and I tried to cope with it for a few months but realized I wouldn't be happy in a relationship like that. We sat down and had a cuple mature conversations where we eventually came to what we consider to be a fair middleground. She says she will remain open minded in the future, and for now, she will let me perform oral on her. I'm fairly happy with that conclusion and she even told me that she wants it "sooner rather than later" for whatever reason - i have no clue. But with that being said, she's going to be sleeping over on Friday night for her first time (we've spent a cuple nights together at hotel/motels but this will be her first time sleeping over at my house) and I want to go down on her / I think it would be the right time.
I'm a little nervous about Friday night, and I'm kind of wondering what would be the best way, when the moment comes, to ask her if I can do it. We'll be making out in my bed and having a good time ... I would hate to ruin the moment but doing something wrong. I understand there's even a chance she'll say she doesn't want me to do it when I try ... but that's okay too. Bottom line is that I need to try, I'm excited, but want to approach it in the absolute best way possible.
EDIT: Just wanna add, she claims to have never had an orgasm before, (and therefore doesn't masterbate either). So with that being said, having someone touching her down there might be a very weird thing for her.
Any feedback would be welcomed.
Thanks!
0
Comments
Anybody! :crazyeyes
If you are happy with not having sex until marriage then great! I'm sure it'll be a long lasting relationship. Is she religious or anything?
As for when she sleeps round yours, just take it slowly. Chances are, she'll be quite tight down there if no body has ever touched it before. Are you allowed to finger her? Because if you are, I'd say take it very slowly... start with one finger too.
Also, as for letting her know what you are doing, maybe tell her how much you want to touch her? And run your hand down her stomach? That'll probably let her know. Could you also reach an agreement before hand, as to how far you want to go?
Good luck, don't worry too much, I'm sure you'll both get lost in the moment
Xx
We're both only turning 20 in a few months, so as you said, marraige is completely out of the question for now. We've obviously never discussed it as it's just wayyyy too early.
With that being said, I'd like to address the bolded part. I'm not happy with it ... but I've been given no choice. I love the girl to death and cannot see our relationship going sour purely because I won't get any sex. I feel like she loves me to the same extent, and thus the reason why she's agreeing to let me go down on her, even though it may be against her "morals". Yes she's a religious catholic btw. Kinda sucks considering I'm an atheist but she respects my beliefs and I respect hers.
Hoping we do indeed get lost in the moment and have lots of fun
By some amazing fluke, she actually slept over at my place last night. I was contemplating whether I should ask/try it, and eventually decided against it. Instead though, after a while of fooling around, I got to a new territory if you will, and asked her if it was okay to feel up her lower area over her pants. She said it's cool and I did that for a while and I think she liked it.
Baby steps. Next time I'll see if I could get those pants off :yes:
But it's great you've reached a compromise
Xx
And there is no need for their beliefs to disrespect mine. You can't win this Geneve, everyone has different views and everyone is entitled to share their views. If someone doesn't want their views challenged or debated then they shouldn't share them.
Xx
Marriage is meant to be about love, if you're finding yourself not being happy in your relationship now because of the effect it's having on your relationship, then it isn't for the right reasons.
"Froof" is not a real word. At least not in the first dictionary google suggested.
Then again, Urban Dictionary gave me this, froof, so I'm not sure.