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Telling an ex about a new partner
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Do you think it's appropriate? Came out of a 2 year relationship in January (which he chose to end, although in retrospect I don't think either of us were very happy), then in the last few weeks have started seeing one of my friends. I felt almost obligated to tell my ex as we had been trying to remain friends as the breakup was amiable, and I felt almost like I was being dishonest by not telling him about a new important part of my life - also as I've been friends with the second guy for quite a while it could look suspicious from my ex's point of view. Things with the second guy were, honestly, completely platonic until very recently but I'm worried my ex won't believe me.
I wasn't sure whether to say anything though, as, by actually making a point of telling them its assuming that they actually care or want to know (they might not), but just decided after my ex sent me a message and feeling 'guilty' (why??) that I should just tell him about it, so have done and am a bit worried to see his reaction! I guess it's better than him finding out by something like Facebook at least.
What do you think?
(we are all in our 20's if this makes any difference)
Thanks
edit - just to add, I definitely don't want to get back with my ex and definitely feel happier now than I have felt for a long time! I just hate the thought of hurting anyones feelings
I wasn't sure whether to say anything though, as, by actually making a point of telling them its assuming that they actually care or want to know (they might not), but just decided after my ex sent me a message and feeling 'guilty' (why??) that I should just tell him about it, so have done and am a bit worried to see his reaction! I guess it's better than him finding out by something like Facebook at least.
What do you think?
(we are all in our 20's if this makes any difference)
Thanks
edit - just to add, I definitely don't want to get back with my ex and definitely feel happier now than I have felt for a long time! I just hate the thought of hurting anyones feelings
0
Comments
As for it looking suspicious - so what. If he asks, you tell the truth. If he doesn't believe you, you know it's the truth, and it doesn't matter because he's not your BF any more.
If you're only going to see/talk to him once in a blue moon then it wont matter so much than if you see him all the time.
Trying to make him feel jealous is really the last thing I'm trying to do. I hope he moves on and meets someone he has more in common with and is more suited to. I was very tactful with how I worded what I said and didn't tell him lots of unnecessary details.
It's likely that soon we might see each other fairly regularly, I've been studying abroad for a few months but back in the UK now and we have a few mutual friends/mutual hobbies (a club) etc. I would still like him to be a part of my life and stay friends if possible!
Stress over, he actually replied and said all is fine and he's also recently become involved with someone else. Now I feel a lot more relaxed about the situation