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Help for you all :-)
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Heyy guys,
Recently I've noticed a lot of threads about self harming and depression... so instead of posting on each thread I thought it'd be nice to give some over all advice on here. (Sorry if we aren't allowed to do this by the way
)
Self harm
Okay.. Well, lets start with self harm. There is a choice you must make, and that is do you feel ready to stop? There is no point in trying to stop if you aren't ready. But that doesn't mean you can't lessen the amount.
If you are ready to stop or not there are things you can do to help, it is all about finding what works for you. For some people the pain is what they like, and if this is so try these instead of cutting/burning;
1) Flicking a rubber band round your wrist
2) Holding an ice cube in your hand till it melts
3) clenching your fists, to make your knuckles go white
4) Go for a run/do other exercise (like dancing, jumping, even yoga!)
5) Clap
If it is the feeling of realsing your problems try these;
1) Draw, with a red pen, on the area you normally self harm
2) Breathe in for 10 and out for 12
3) Scream! (maybe when you are in the shower, or into a pillow)
4) Write down all your feelings, and rip up the paper into tiny bits
5) Write poems or songs
And, maybe at school/college/work, when you are stressed;
1) Keep a stress ball in your pocket
2) If you are doing the red pens, make sure you have one with you
3) Hold your breath for 10 seconds, and then breathe out
4) Draw all over some paper (some people like to just squiggle)
5) Cross your arms tightly
Smoking
A lot of people smoke when they are stressed, and if you do smoke try and keep to a certain number a day. Maybe 4/5 if you can. If you want to stop smoking, your best bet is a stop smoking group. However, if you really want to go it alone try having sunflower seeds in your pocket (in a little pot) and eating them during the day. This can help because you have something to fiddle with, and put in your mouth. Chewing gum can also help people, and it is worth remembering you can get nicotine gum too. Some people say that the first month is the hardest, and in some respects that is true, but it can take a lot longer to stop getting cravings.
Depression
Coping with depression is hard, and it is even harder alone. Make sure you speak out, and get the help you deserve. Some good websites are;
http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx (for under 18's in the UK)
http://www.samaritans.org/ (for people in the UK)
http://www.mind.org.uk/ (for people in the UK (above 18 I think) )
http://www.youngminds.org.uk/ (for young people in the UK)
Also, it is worth remembering there is a lot of advice on thesite. Whether it is on the boards, or the help pages. In addition to this, if you live outside the UK I'm sure you can view the above web pages but not contact the organization.
If you go into counselling, or therapy, it might not work straight away. You have to give it a couple of months, and if you really think there is no affect then leave. But make sure you do at least a month before you give up on it! There are a load of different kinds of counselling, it's about trying to find the one for you. Some people find group therapy easier than 1-2-1 counselling.
School/Work stress
If you have a lot of work, or homework, that is getting on top of you try making a routine. Organization is the key, so if you can make sure you spend a certain amount of time on it each day that'll help you. Speak to your teacher/course leader if you are in education. Because, if you are finding it hard then they should know! They will help as best they can, and if they need to they might change your work to suite your ability better. Achieving top of the class isn't everything, it is better to have an all round ability than have one single skill. So, make sure that if you don't understand something you raise your hand and ask
Eating
Many people have problems with eating. Again, if you can work out a routine this is usefull. Make sure you have the recommened amount of calories each day, and eat healthly food! Set times for your meals if you find it easier that way, maybe even plan your food out for the week. There is more info on here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/switch/surgery/advice/body_mind/everyone/eating_disorders/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/switch/surgery/advice/body_mind/everyone/eating_right/
If you are at all worried about your weight and health, speak to your GP about it. That is what they are there for after all.
Family
We all argue with family at some point in our lives, and if you are in your teenage years life at home can get very tricky! Being honest with those you live with is great, but they might not always understand. If you decide to tell your family when you feel down, and it causes arguments, this is normally because they might not understand. It's been along time since they were young remember
Speak to them openly, as the more you tell them the easier it'll become for you all to understand one another.
If you don't like being with your family, fill up your free time with friends (and don't forget all that lovely work you might have!) Having said this, if you distance yourself from them it can become very hard to speak to them about personal issues if and when you might need to.
Finally
Good luck I hope this helped some people and remember to keep smiling. You are special, amazing, and wonderful. Never forget it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEhutIEUq8k
Love you all
Broken-Angel xxx
Recently I've noticed a lot of threads about self harming and depression... so instead of posting on each thread I thought it'd be nice to give some over all advice on here. (Sorry if we aren't allowed to do this by the way
)Self harm
Okay.. Well, lets start with self harm. There is a choice you must make, and that is do you feel ready to stop? There is no point in trying to stop if you aren't ready. But that doesn't mean you can't lessen the amount.
If you are ready to stop or not there are things you can do to help, it is all about finding what works for you. For some people the pain is what they like, and if this is so try these instead of cutting/burning;
1) Flicking a rubber band round your wrist
2) Holding an ice cube in your hand till it melts
3) clenching your fists, to make your knuckles go white
4) Go for a run/do other exercise (like dancing, jumping, even yoga!)
5) Clap
If it is the feeling of realsing your problems try these;
1) Draw, with a red pen, on the area you normally self harm
2) Breathe in for 10 and out for 12
3) Scream! (maybe when you are in the shower, or into a pillow)
4) Write down all your feelings, and rip up the paper into tiny bits
5) Write poems or songs
And, maybe at school/college/work, when you are stressed;
1) Keep a stress ball in your pocket
2) If you are doing the red pens, make sure you have one with you
3) Hold your breath for 10 seconds, and then breathe out
4) Draw all over some paper (some people like to just squiggle)
5) Cross your arms tightly
Smoking
A lot of people smoke when they are stressed, and if you do smoke try and keep to a certain number a day. Maybe 4/5 if you can. If you want to stop smoking, your best bet is a stop smoking group. However, if you really want to go it alone try having sunflower seeds in your pocket (in a little pot) and eating them during the day. This can help because you have something to fiddle with, and put in your mouth. Chewing gum can also help people, and it is worth remembering you can get nicotine gum too. Some people say that the first month is the hardest, and in some respects that is true, but it can take a lot longer to stop getting cravings.
Depression
Coping with depression is hard, and it is even harder alone. Make sure you speak out, and get the help you deserve. Some good websites are;
http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx (for under 18's in the UK)
http://www.samaritans.org/ (for people in the UK)
http://www.mind.org.uk/ (for people in the UK (above 18 I think) )
http://www.youngminds.org.uk/ (for young people in the UK)
Also, it is worth remembering there is a lot of advice on thesite. Whether it is on the boards, or the help pages. In addition to this, if you live outside the UK I'm sure you can view the above web pages but not contact the organization.
If you go into counselling, or therapy, it might not work straight away. You have to give it a couple of months, and if you really think there is no affect then leave. But make sure you do at least a month before you give up on it! There are a load of different kinds of counselling, it's about trying to find the one for you. Some people find group therapy easier than 1-2-1 counselling.
School/Work stress
If you have a lot of work, or homework, that is getting on top of you try making a routine. Organization is the key, so if you can make sure you spend a certain amount of time on it each day that'll help you. Speak to your teacher/course leader if you are in education. Because, if you are finding it hard then they should know! They will help as best they can, and if they need to they might change your work to suite your ability better. Achieving top of the class isn't everything, it is better to have an all round ability than have one single skill. So, make sure that if you don't understand something you raise your hand and ask
Eating
Many people have problems with eating. Again, if you can work out a routine this is usefull. Make sure you have the recommened amount of calories each day, and eat healthly food! Set times for your meals if you find it easier that way, maybe even plan your food out for the week. There is more info on here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/switch/surgery/advice/body_mind/everyone/eating_disorders/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/switch/surgery/advice/body_mind/everyone/eating_right/
If you are at all worried about your weight and health, speak to your GP about it. That is what they are there for after all.
Family
We all argue with family at some point in our lives, and if you are in your teenage years life at home can get very tricky! Being honest with those you live with is great, but they might not always understand. If you decide to tell your family when you feel down, and it causes arguments, this is normally because they might not understand. It's been along time since they were young remember
Speak to them openly, as the more you tell them the easier it'll become for you all to understand one another.If you don't like being with your family, fill up your free time with friends (and don't forget all that lovely work you might have!) Having said this, if you distance yourself from them it can become very hard to speak to them about personal issues if and when you might need to.
Finally
Good luck
I hope this helped some people and remember to keep smiling. You are special, amazing, and wonderful. Never forget it!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEhutIEUq8k
Love you all
Broken-Angel xxx
0
Comments
:thumb:
I just hope I can give advice that can help people when I post threads, most the stuff I say if from experiance so I know how hard life can get!
Xx
Well This
and
Is you getting shitty about it. As its been said there is no harm in repeating things. Different users advice and tips that may have things in common is probably more encouraging knowing that people got help from simple things. But of corse you get annoyed.
I think it's really important to consider all possible options to help with problems, but it's also wise to remember that not everyone has exactly the same issues or reacts in exactly the same way as other people.
There are many options to help deal with mental health issues but often keeping a problem hidden can make a situation much worse. Of course for some people, such as for you Geneve, exercise may have been the solution to the problems you've experienced, but for others it may only be part of a solution or of no real value.
After all, people who exercise regularly aren't immune to mental health problems.
So whilst it's important to remember exercise, I'd really suggest avoiding dismissing medication, which is enormously helpful for many people, (even those who exercise) as silly based on your own experiences or a remembered medical story.
Yes it helps, but if it means people think either it's their fault they feel bad because they just aren't exercising enough, or don't see a GP just because they exercise regularly, then it can be part of a problem rather than a solution.
Horses for courses in the end, rather than the ultimate panacea.
This, when i was seriously depresssed i was going to dance classes regularly, occasionally going to the gym, but in order for me to sort things out, i still needed to be on meds for a little while. I'm all for trying natural options and wont dispute that the benefits from endorphins are real, but sometimes its not enough
:yes:
I think quite often anti-depressants can give people that little bit more energy to fight depression... giving them that little push be able to go and get the cause sorted, through talking therapy etc.
However... I believe that some cases of depression really are just about chemical inbalances. And therefore... why not ADs? For me, the only big negative thing is when doctors prescribe ADs without any sort of talking therapy. Thats bad... and is against guidelines.
(sorry for the thread hijack)
Because they are over prescribed, carry serious risks, have addictive qualities, and are yet to be prooven to be significantly better than a sugar pill.