If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
My life f*cking sucks - friend lied about cancer + rent :(
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Sorry about the length of this...
Well I am fed up... F-e-d up... To the point I honestly just don't care any more. I'm thinking about getting a job transfer and moving away from London...
I guess most of this is down to one guy. We met a couple of years ago in a party and I found him interesting. We both loved veggie cooking...
This guy was always 'confiding' in me about his abusive parents. He told me his Dad raped him (he is from a Kenyan Indian background) and beat him, made him walk over glass ect... Not right away of course, but over time. He would keep on going away and coming back and saying that his parents had done this or that...
I didn't see him in ages due to work and finance, but then we met again later because I was doing radio and wanted to interview somebody about Hinduism and the environment. I found his knowledge of Vedic theology fascinating and hung out more... He was also a great cook.
In June we decided we'd move in together, but then he told me later in July that he had cancer and that it returned. A tumour in his brain in fact, which he said he had operated on before...
Come September we moved in... He went away to have what my flatmate and I were told was surgery. His auntie brought him back after and I helped look after him when he was 'recovering'... The guy acted so well, he knew all the symptoms... I even bought him medicine and sometimes cooked.
Later he got more controlling and weird... He said things were getting better and he had a scholarship to a good university in New York. We are on a joint tennancy, so we'd get somebody to cover his room and pay rent for him...
Then in November he called me up to Camden and started crying his eyes out on my shoulder. He seemed like a broken man, he said the cancer had returned, it was growing in to his brain this time and he may not survive operation or he may not have full mobility. It was horrible... When somebody you are so close to you think is going to die...
I hadn't realised at that time how much he had been creeping in to my other relationships, trying to twist things and alter my perception of other people...
So I had this hanging over me, him asking to sleep in my room and other lies... It all got too much. He got possessive of me, he hated me seeing some of my mates.
Somebody moved in to his room when he left for this 'scholarship' (we found out he's actually failed many of his courses) and he told her if she paid him £250, he'd cover January. He said he had paid rent for December.
So the letting agent are calling me, asking me where his rent is. It turns out he lied about paying December and he's not paid January. I found out recently too, from his auntie that he lied about having a brain tumour as well... I feel sick, violated and now am at risk of losing my home or at least the deposit. Letting agent are saying we should move out if things aren't sorted...
Thing is, I don't even know for sure if he's even in America, he could have had keys cut and be living next door for all I know. He refused to give any mailing address as well, to his place in the States. His auntie, his guarantor I don't think is going to pay up either which sucks because his family are LOADED.
So here I am... About to lose hundreds of pounds and feeling like shit and violated... Tennancy is joint, so we're all responsible, but that prick is not answering my Emails. I think in all honesty, he is doing this to hurt me and try to make me homeless.
Any advice on the money thing?
Has this happened to anyone?
I don't think I will trust another human being again. :crying:
Well I am fed up... F-e-d up... To the point I honestly just don't care any more. I'm thinking about getting a job transfer and moving away from London...
I guess most of this is down to one guy. We met a couple of years ago in a party and I found him interesting. We both loved veggie cooking...
This guy was always 'confiding' in me about his abusive parents. He told me his Dad raped him (he is from a Kenyan Indian background) and beat him, made him walk over glass ect... Not right away of course, but over time. He would keep on going away and coming back and saying that his parents had done this or that...
I didn't see him in ages due to work and finance, but then we met again later because I was doing radio and wanted to interview somebody about Hinduism and the environment. I found his knowledge of Vedic theology fascinating and hung out more... He was also a great cook.
In June we decided we'd move in together, but then he told me later in July that he had cancer and that it returned. A tumour in his brain in fact, which he said he had operated on before...
Come September we moved in... He went away to have what my flatmate and I were told was surgery. His auntie brought him back after and I helped look after him when he was 'recovering'... The guy acted so well, he knew all the symptoms... I even bought him medicine and sometimes cooked.
Later he got more controlling and weird... He said things were getting better and he had a scholarship to a good university in New York. We are on a joint tennancy, so we'd get somebody to cover his room and pay rent for him...
Then in November he called me up to Camden and started crying his eyes out on my shoulder. He seemed like a broken man, he said the cancer had returned, it was growing in to his brain this time and he may not survive operation or he may not have full mobility. It was horrible... When somebody you are so close to you think is going to die...
I hadn't realised at that time how much he had been creeping in to my other relationships, trying to twist things and alter my perception of other people...
So I had this hanging over me, him asking to sleep in my room and other lies... It all got too much. He got possessive of me, he hated me seeing some of my mates.
Somebody moved in to his room when he left for this 'scholarship' (we found out he's actually failed many of his courses) and he told her if she paid him £250, he'd cover January. He said he had paid rent for December.
So the letting agent are calling me, asking me where his rent is. It turns out he lied about paying December and he's not paid January. I found out recently too, from his auntie that he lied about having a brain tumour as well... I feel sick, violated and now am at risk of losing my home or at least the deposit. Letting agent are saying we should move out if things aren't sorted...
Thing is, I don't even know for sure if he's even in America, he could have had keys cut and be living next door for all I know. He refused to give any mailing address as well, to his place in the States. His auntie, his guarantor I don't think is going to pay up either which sucks because his family are LOADED.
So here I am... About to lose hundreds of pounds and feeling like shit and violated... Tennancy is joint, so we're all responsible, but that prick is not answering my Emails. I think in all honesty, he is doing this to hurt me and try to make me homeless.
Any advice on the money thing?
Has this happened to anyone?
I don't think I will trust another human being again. :crying:
0
Comments
It sounds to me as though you have seen the last of this prick, and there is little hope of recovering your money. Rather than risk losing your home, I would try and work something out with the Landlord to pay the overdue money in installments. Speaking as a former landlord, I would much rather keep an otherwise reliable tenant, than have to go through the process of re-letting the property - and risk having no rent at all coming in for the interim period.
I would suggest you offer the letting agency to pay a bit at a time, but you dont have the money to pay it all upfront. See if theyll be reasonable.
Failing that, maybe speak to your local housing advice centre. It should be tied in with your local council. They should help you avoid homelessness
I do not know much regarding rental agreements with others but surly as his gaurenteur his auntie is responsable for his share, not you?
other than that *hugs* that is real shit sel,
The one good thing from this is taht he does seem to have burned his bridges, and hopefully won't be coming back into your life.
how much do you have to try to find to cover the two missing months?
I'm so sorry this has happened to you.
Feel for you and I think Suzy has it right. Explain to the Agents and offer to pay. They are more likely to accept that than if you just say that you cannot pay.
On the money side of things, if you haven't already, I get in touch with some experts in housing situations. Shelter answer questions for us on askthesite so you may want to ask a question there, or alternatively contact Shelter directly for some support.
I think what he's done is hurtful and terrible - but it sounds like this is something that's been part of a very disturbed person's lifestyle for a very long time. I think it's pretty likely he's been like this with many other people as well.
Whilst this is all very painful now, please bear in mind this isn't the way people normally behave. Now you've seen the truth hopefully you can, with time, find a way to avoid this colouring how you see everyone in the future - though that's advice for the future once you get past the immediate problems he's created for you.
Even if the letting agent is being unhelpful I'm sure you'll find that services like Shelter will be as shocked as we are and will do everything they can to help you.
It's around £780 we owe. I hope his auntie pays up... Their family is loaded. I am not even joking.
I don't know why she hasn't paid already. :no: I cannot afford that kind of money. I think he's doing it on purpose to hurt me, refusing to talk to anyone.
He is only lucky, for his own health that he's not in the UK.
But I honestly am starting to doubt she's going to pay for him.
Does anybody know much about the whole deposit issue at the end? Would they keep everyone's deposit for him not paying or just the money he owes?
Would we be able to sort it so he gets nothing and I get at least £300 back?
I am willing to take him to court, for a verbal agreement to get the rest back.
He didn't take the cash... Basically, he was to give it to me and then I would transfer it via bank. So I would take what he owes for bills then send it over.
But he's not replying to any of my Emails, so how can I?
He lied about December's rent, but January needs paying... I do not trust to send the money once/if I get his details until he pays December's rent.
(Sorry, shoulda been clearer on that)
Just one more question. Basically, the letting agent say that if I find two replacements I can move out... As the other guy is living, him and two others could draft a contract.
Would I need the wanker's signature to sign off the contract or would making a new contract get him off it?
What if he refuses to sign?
I think I am going to get sick with stress if I stay here...
In respect of the deposit, speaking from the Landlord's point of view, these days the money is actually held by the agent not the Landlord. At the end of the tenancy, any deductions have to be fully justified. If £300 is owed, then £300 will be deducted. End of story.
But shit happens I guess... I honestly don't really care any more.
My only concern really, is that I just found out the guy is back from the States this week. I would not put it past him to have had his own set of keys cut (it now makes sense why he told me he was going away for 3 years and the agency for 1-2 months).
I am making sure my laptop is hidden each day, as he knows the hours I work and might come in and steal stuff. A guy I know who used to live with him ended up with razor blades and rotten fruit in his bed after an argument.
Maybe I am too paranoid... I'm just a bit concerned that guy may come get me, or do something to my stuff to try and cause further friction between house mates. He obviously isn't well in the head.
I just want to leave... I feel so low. Enough is enough.
Did you get a chance to speak to Shelter about the situation, to see if they could give you any advice abotu finding a new place?
I don't know... I'm just so exhausted if I am to be honest. I've lost all fight, I really don't care any more. Right now, I don't care if I'm hit by a bus tomorrow... Enough is enough.
I just want to move on and cut everyone off.
The boy is back in the UK. I go to a place we both volunteered at and as soon as he hears, he's back too :rolleyes:
He's mooching around mutual friends, acting scared and victimised of me... I also found out some nasty text messages had been sent from my phone to somebody when we lived together...
Why can't he just leave me alone? :no:
Shall I call him and tell him to fuck off?
Yeah ok... Maybe I should not volunteer at the place though, to get away from him. At least for a while.
Basically, we both do radio... I advertised for my show and out of the blue (having not contacted anyone from the station) he turns up and does his... I don't want him to get the gratification of turning my radio crowd against me.