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Slightly weird question
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Greetings,
What is the minimum period of time that a relationship can last before a break up that makes that relationship appear genuine?
It's just that I have been in a relationship for 4 months now and have realized that it was probably a mistake.
I didn't find her massively attractive before we started dating, but I went for it for the following reasons:
1) She really liked me
2) She was obviously lonely. No boyfriend, ever (she is 24) and V.
3) It had been over a year since my last relationship and I was getting bored with being single
4) I thought that attraction might develop later on.
5) My mates thought it was a good idea
Four months in and I am beginning to regret jumping in.
Our sex is catastrophic, to the extent that I come up with reasons not to do it. Now, I know that sex is not everything, and we do have some fun hanging out etc. but it feels kind of like we're just good mates, you know?
So, back to my original question. How long should I wait before breaking up with her, so that it seems to her like we gave it a good shot? 4 months seems too early to me, and I don't want to humiliate her by breaking up with her so soon. I want this to be at least a partially successful first boyfriend for her.
Anyway, thoughts welcome.
PS. It's good to be back here.
What is the minimum period of time that a relationship can last before a break up that makes that relationship appear genuine?
It's just that I have been in a relationship for 4 months now and have realized that it was probably a mistake.
I didn't find her massively attractive before we started dating, but I went for it for the following reasons:
1) She really liked me
2) She was obviously lonely. No boyfriend, ever (she is 24) and V.
3) It had been over a year since my last relationship and I was getting bored with being single
4) I thought that attraction might develop later on.
5) My mates thought it was a good idea
Four months in and I am beginning to regret jumping in.
Our sex is catastrophic, to the extent that I come up with reasons not to do it. Now, I know that sex is not everything, and we do have some fun hanging out etc. but it feels kind of like we're just good mates, you know?
So, back to my original question. How long should I wait before breaking up with her, so that it seems to her like we gave it a good shot? 4 months seems too early to me, and I don't want to humiliate her by breaking up with her so soon. I want this to be at least a partially successful first boyfriend for her.
Anyway, thoughts welcome.
PS. It's good to be back here.
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Comments
Wow love the way you want her to think she had a good relationship, but been nice gets u no were!! the longer u leave it the more attatched she will be to u which will make the break 10 times harder! if a guy thought that about me id rather it be over, what u gonna do leave it until shes deeply in love with u!! lets face it its not gonna take long before that happens if ur her first partner! and its not fair on you! be honest tell her u think shes a great girl and u wanna be freinds but the relationship isnt working but your sure she will find another boyfreind soon xx
Ok I'll give you some credit, you do not want to hurt her but MY GOD, you went out with her because you were BORED of being single. You've literally used this girl. SO what if she was 24 and never had a boyfriend, THERE is nothing wrong with that, you make it seem like you were doing her a favour when in actual fact you've been screwing her around to relief your own boredom.
You need to break it off with her as soon as, it is not fair on her for you to be in a "relationship" where you do not care for the girl, This girl deserves someone A LOT better. I feel so sorry for her
SHIT im bored right now, a mate suggested I jump off a cliff, See ya :wave:
You need to end this as soon as possible and you do only seem to care about one thing, "looking authentic" so what no one gives you grief for using the girl. you say it is for her feelings you want it to look authentic but that is bullshit, from what I am reading your more interested in self preservation, making sure you do not look like a bad guy, well news flash YOU BLOOMING WELL ARE.
With regards to the sex front, if it is catastrophic only you are to blame, she was a virgin and learnt everything from you, you were suppose to help her, teach her and explore her body with her, if it is that bad, I think your just shit at sex.
I don't know what else to add except by god you really need to stop thinking about yourself and think about this poor girl, leave her immediately and leave her life, she deserves a damn lot better than someone like you.
End it as soon as possible. Nobody wants their partner to be with them out of pity, and if she could read what you've said about her, she would ditch you instantly. Do it right away, and let her find someone else who actually likes her. Just because you find her unattractive, doesn't mean everyone will. And don't assume she'll be gutted - if the relationship is as shit as you say it is, she'll probably be relieved you've saved her the hassle of having to dump you first.
In my experience at least 99.5% of the time this isn't an option. Maybe others have better luck?
Exactly. I think some people have been a little harsh. Maybe it's not the best way to go about starting a relationship, but plenty of people go into relationships a bit half heartedly and a bit unsure just to see how things work out. In this case, it's obviously not working down so best to let her know sooner rather than later. Leaving it a couple of months just so it seems like you've give it more of a chance won't make her feel any better, it'll be hard for her whenever you do it. She won't think, oh well he was with me for 6 months, that's ok then. She'll probably be even more upset because you'll have been stringing her along and making her think it is going somewhere when it clearly isn't. Be honest, tell her you think you're better off as friends. Who knows, she might be thinking something similar.