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What do you do when...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
you love a guy but their obsessed you've cheated and they threaten you to admit it & threaten the guy they think you've cheated with so he admits it which then leads him to be obsessed you've done it & he dumps you over it & you have no way to prove you never did it?
its doing my head in cause he keeps going on about it and when im like i never did it i admited it cause i was scared then he doesn't believe that as he doesnt get that when your scared you say anything to get out of a situation? && now he blames you for his life going wrong and how you should feel bad for him loosing everyone as he chose you cause you said you would never hurt him and, even though you didnt he thinks you did...
cause i actually never did but i have no way to prove it as i dont have cctv of my life lol & i love him and want to be with him but is there anyway to prove i didnt do it??
its doing my head in cause he keeps going on about it and when im like i never did it i admited it cause i was scared then he doesn't believe that as he doesnt get that when your scared you say anything to get out of a situation? && now he blames you for his life going wrong and how you should feel bad for him loosing everyone as he chose you cause you said you would never hurt him and, even though you didnt he thinks you did...
cause i actually never did but i have no way to prove it as i dont have cctv of my life lol & i love him and want to be with him but is there anyway to prove i didnt do it??
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Comments
You need to tell him theres no point in staying like you are because all the trust has gone now. Even if he accepts that you didnt cheat and try to rebuild what you had, he's probably going to question every time youre late home or receive texts from a male friend. (i dont know him so i dont know how paranoid/untrusting he is though)
Just give him some space to think things over and let him know you'll be there when he's ready to talk. Put yourself in his position and you'd probably behave the exact same way. If its meant to carry on, it will happen. If not then you'll have to accept that shit happens and maybe think more carefully next time about what you say.
You have a VERY unhealthy relationship going on. The guy is essentially accusing you of something (lack of trust/paranoia) and when you don't give him the right answer (according to him) he threatens you so you admit it. Then what happens? He's now been proven right and can use this against you as well as his unacceptable threatening behaviour towards you has been reinforced as acceptable. He's likely to do this again.
This on its own is bad enough but you also mentioned he blames you for MAKING him choose you and losing everyone (wtf?) and that you should feel bad for this or that.
This guy sounds like he's being incredibly oppressive and manipulative towards you, he's playing with your emotions and making you attatched to him based on something completely unrelated to real love.
Don't speak to him, text him or communicate with him in any way. Just drop him and move on with your life.
& now as he has no one hes like I have to come out with him for his birthday but I'm scared to and I told him that but I'm so weird I feel bad if I don't go & worried he'll do something then...
you walk away. Without turning your back.
If he has no one then who is going to tell anything bad about you to? Who'd believe him or even care to begin with. Seriously, this guy is blackmailing you and he's neither a good boyfriend or friend to you.
I second what Big Gay says. Walk away. Today.