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Am i wasting my time in this relationship
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok need some advice because i dont know if im wasting my time and giving up the best years of my life in a relationship that will not work out in the long term.
I have been with my bf for 4 years now but its a secret relationship because our family think we are cousins (we both know we are not related through blood because i found out from my mam that my dad is not my real dad but she doesnt want anyone else to know) so everyone thinks we are related and i cant say anything because it will drag up loads of crap that i could really do without.
Anyway after recently breaking up i decided to move away so i told him i didnt not want to see him again, a few days later he told me he wanted to get back together and that he loves me, we decided to move abroad to try have the relationship and life we want but im scared that we are going to end up regretting it and that if it doesnt work out il have giving up a lot to be with him.
I do love him but lately things just feel so weird between us and i dont know if we should just end it and move on with our lives or try make it work.
I know every relationship goes through bad patches but ours seems to be constant lately and now when we have sex i dont feel the way i used to and sometimes i cant wait to finish, is this a sign that we need to break up or a normal reaction to everything thats going on .
please give me some advice so i can try figure things out.
I have been with my bf for 4 years now but its a secret relationship because our family think we are cousins (we both know we are not related through blood because i found out from my mam that my dad is not my real dad but she doesnt want anyone else to know) so everyone thinks we are related and i cant say anything because it will drag up loads of crap that i could really do without.
Anyway after recently breaking up i decided to move away so i told him i didnt not want to see him again, a few days later he told me he wanted to get back together and that he loves me, we decided to move abroad to try have the relationship and life we want but im scared that we are going to end up regretting it and that if it doesnt work out il have giving up a lot to be with him.
I do love him but lately things just feel so weird between us and i dont know if we should just end it and move on with our lives or try make it work.
I know every relationship goes through bad patches but ours seems to be constant lately and now when we have sex i dont feel the way i used to and sometimes i cant wait to finish, is this a sign that we need to break up or a normal reaction to everything thats going on .
please give me some advice so i can try figure things out.
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Comments
However, from what you say about your feelings towards your bf, I don't think you are prepared to make the sacrifices that would be inevitable if you moved abroad to be with him. If you are having more bad times than good, and sex has lost its appeal, I think you have answered your own question. Don't burn your bridges.
I feel like i have to lie to everyone because if i tell the truth about him not really been my cousin and how we both knew and were sleeping together my whole family will fall apart and it will be my fault, also my mam has begged me not to say anything so if i do she'l be upset but if i dont i can never have a proper relationship with him.
its just turned into a horrible situation and im constantly thinking about it and how to mae it better so i think thats why i dont want to have sex anymore. its like i have no feeling for anything anymore and i feel like all my confidence is gone since all this has has got so complicated, most of the time i just feel numb and i dont know how to get the old me back.