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I need some advice!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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To me it seems that she takes you for granted, and doesn't realise consequences of her negative actions. Maybe you could take to her parents, see if they could have a quiet word with her for you, without it being obvious you have asked them to talk to her. Maybe she will listen to them?
If it still continues after that I would leave now, once you move into your own house together it is just going to be even harder to leave, and to me it doesn't sound like she will change her behaviour.
I know you love her, but I think you will have to listen to your head here, not your heart even though it'll be hard.
Best of luck
"But it's much harder to be ruthless about it when you have loved the person. This is partly because so much of ourselves and our self-worth is bound up in who we love. We don't want to believe that we could have wasted our love and affection on someone who has ultimately shown themselves to be unworthy of it, because that would be a tragedy and imply a lack of judgment on our part. So then I think we keep lying to ourselves, making excuses for the person, telling ourselves maybe they do love me as much as I do after all, and forgiving them and letting them back in every time they let us down"
I personally don't feel this relationship is healthy for you at all. You don't appear happy. You may say some things sound petty but in all honesty it sounds like she's not really being very nice to you at all.
She doesn't appear to be respecting you, your feelings or your wishes, as you've mentioned she is completely ignoring your opinions and what you say.
Why do you think you will regret splitting up with her? You sound like a nice, decent guy. You are incredibly likely to find a nice girl who will treat you right, so please don't stay cos you're worried about that.
That quote you gave certainly gave me food for thought. It was so true.
The reason I said about regretting leaving her is because I fear that I'll go home and then miss the good times we have had. They aren't distant memories either, I can think of nice times we had last week, but they are all mixed up in a constant personality of inconsistencies.
Plus also the other thing that puts me off leaving is just the whole hassle of it all. It will be such a big step and she's not the type who will just say "fair enough" and leave me to it.
I worry that when it comes down to leaving, that I don't have the mental strength for all the aggravation it will cause, although I realise that's not a very good reason for continuing like this!
But please dont let this girl bully you into buying a house with her, once that is done it will be even HARDER to leave her. You dont sound happy at all. I really think you need to get out of this relationship now, you say you dont think you will have the mental strength to break up with her, but the more time passes the harder it will be. It also doesnt seem like she will change either, she will be this possesive girl and she will always will be, moving in with her didnt make her change, so do you think buying a house with her will?
Im sorry i cant give much more advice than that, keep us posted and I wish you all the luck
But it's causing you enough hassle for you to be worried enough to come on here in the first place.
Do your good times honestly outweigh the bad times? I ended up splitting up with my ex last september, supposed to be moving in together etc, and yes it was a bit