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not on a par with this modern world

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Im 26 and feel so out of it with modern dating and the way people are! Most girls i know are in/out of relationships and i have barely been in one :( havent had any experience of sex. I get told i am pretty and that i am fun to be around but i just dont have any luck or confidence with opposite sex!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi bag_it welcome to thesite :). I know what you mean about feeling out of touch with the modern dating environment, it moves very quickly at times! But I think you'll find there are a lot of people who still like to take things slow and get to know people and let things happen naturally when it feels right for them rather than racing to get to the err.. 'finishing line'.

    I'm sorry to hear that you don't feel you have much confidence with the opposite sex - but you say that you've been told you're pretty and fun to be around so I doubt the problem is with you. Maybe you need to just find the right atmosphere for meeting people of the opposite sex who are like-minded.

    Have you joined any clubs or things like that where you can meet people - perhaps just as friends at first - I have found in my experience I meet people in informal situations like this with a shared interest rather than going out on the pull or doing something specifically to pick up the opposite sex.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do find it hard im 26 people are constantly in relationships i havent even had a proper one! The first man i got close to ended up going off with another girl so that does wonders for a girl's confidence
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I completely understand how you feel, but I sincerely doubt this guy going off with someone else had -anything- to do with you. I have a friend, who isn't the most confident guy in the world, but by any standards is what you would call a -catch-. He is sensitive, fantastic fashion sense, good body, his own sense of identity and a great sense of humour. But because of his confidence issues that are almost identical to yours (he's never been out with a girl, hence he believes he never will go out with a girl), he can't even talk to girls let alone ask them out. So another gem goes missed whilst some lovely girl goes out with an asshat with personal hygiene issues because he was drunk / confident enough to say she has a nice ass in a bar... the world we live in eh ;).

    What I'm trying to say is that there are great people out there and fantastic people out there who are single and can remain single not because of anything wrong with them.. but just because they lack confidence. I think the best way to get more confidence in general is just to throw yourself in, perhaps in social situations you feel comfortable in (for me, it's LAN partys, its a complete sausage fest but I know lots about computers and end up talking to -everyone- lots). This is easier said than done, I dropped out of my first year of University due to a number of reasons, one of which being I was so shy (hence the name ;)) I didn't talk to anyone.

    It's a catch-22 because you get confidence by going into situations, talking to guys, asking them out.. but you can't go into those situations until you have the confidence!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bag_it wrote: »
    I do find it hard im 26 people are constantly in relationships i havent even had a proper one! The first man i got close to ended up going off with another girl so that does wonders for a girl's confidence

    Have you spoken to your friends about your situation? They have a better insight into who and what you are. What do they say?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had a friend (who posted on here) with a very similar problem, no guarantees, but will try and look up the old posts and see if I can find anything.
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