If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Where do I go from here?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Over the past few of months I have been seeing a girl who is just a dream! She is smart, pretty and knows what she wants from life. We met a at a party, got on really well and spent the night together. This was not something I normally do.
The girl works with a really good friend of mine and he told me that she had just split up from her boyfriend but really liked me so I should arrange to meet her. We met a few times and started to get to know each other.
She had been going out with her x boyfriend for 5 years and shared a house together. When we met she had split from him only a matter of days. At this point I told her that if she wanted space/time to get over the x then that would be fine with me. We decided to go slow and just enjoy each others company.
The last three months have been really great. We speak on the phone most days and have such a laugh when we are together. Some time we just spend the whole night talking and finding out about one another. Good times!!! Thing are easy and we have not had to think or define our relationship. As she had just got out a relationship she told me that she did not want to have a boyfriend but had no intention of seeing anyone but me. This was fine with me as I have been single for a couple of years because of a bad relationship and taking things slow was ideal.
My girl has told me that she for the first 3 months she felt nothing towards her x boyfriend but now she is feeling the hurt of splitting up with a long term partner. She has moved out of the house they once shared but still speaks to him to deal with house things on a daily basis. He wants her back but she tells continually tells him that it is over. She finds this really hard to deal with as she does not want to hurt him.
Basically, I think that I could possibly lose this girl, not because of anything I have done but due to bad timing. She told me that if we met a couple of months after she split from her x then everything would be straight forward.
Can anyone offer advice?? I like this girl and would very much like to continue seeing her. Am I just the rebound guy who may have served my purpose? Have you been in a similar situation and what happened??
Thanks
The girl works with a really good friend of mine and he told me that she had just split up from her boyfriend but really liked me so I should arrange to meet her. We met a few times and started to get to know each other.
She had been going out with her x boyfriend for 5 years and shared a house together. When we met she had split from him only a matter of days. At this point I told her that if she wanted space/time to get over the x then that would be fine with me. We decided to go slow and just enjoy each others company.
The last three months have been really great. We speak on the phone most days and have such a laugh when we are together. Some time we just spend the whole night talking and finding out about one another. Good times!!! Thing are easy and we have not had to think or define our relationship. As she had just got out a relationship she told me that she did not want to have a boyfriend but had no intention of seeing anyone but me. This was fine with me as I have been single for a couple of years because of a bad relationship and taking things slow was ideal.
My girl has told me that she for the first 3 months she felt nothing towards her x boyfriend but now she is feeling the hurt of splitting up with a long term partner. She has moved out of the house they once shared but still speaks to him to deal with house things on a daily basis. He wants her back but she tells continually tells him that it is over. She finds this really hard to deal with as she does not want to hurt him.
Basically, I think that I could possibly lose this girl, not because of anything I have done but due to bad timing. She told me that if we met a couple of months after she split from her x then everything would be straight forward.
Can anyone offer advice?? I like this girl and would very much like to continue seeing her. Am I just the rebound guy who may have served my purpose? Have you been in a similar situation and what happened??
Thanks
0
Comments
It sounds like you made a good connection with this girl and that she does genuinely like you, but as you say, the timing sucks.
It's good that she's able to be honest and recognise the issues she's now going through with her ex and it might be worth just taking a step back and letting her fully come to terms with her situation so she can think about what she might be looking for in the longer term.
As hard as it is, this may mean actively distancing yourself from her for a time - mostly to protect yourself, and partly to allow her to heal. That way, there may be a chance to reconnect with her in the future while not risking more hurt or disappointment further down the line with things continuing the way they are.
Sometimes relationships can work out that happen so soon after a break-up, but this is usually when someone has a clear head and has already confronted all the issues that might have led to the end of the relationship.
For more insight into rebounds, you may find TheSite's article helpful.
Take care and let us know how you get on.