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My best friend has really upset me...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I don't know what to do really. I should have seen it coming a mile off, I've moved a couple of times and no matter how close I've been to someone they always end up drifting off to an occasional person who says "Hi!" on facebook.
My best friend and I have been mates for like 4 years. We did everything together and she practically lived at my house. When I met her she was shy, had never been kissed, never had a boyfriend and spent most of her time depressed and thought she had no friends. My actions made her meet the love of her life, I helped her get a job, brought her out of herself and she is so much happier now.
I ran out of money and had to move back home a year ago tomorrow, which was always going to be a drag. She lives like an hour and half away in London but I promised I would make the effort to see her. And I've kept it.
I've been up at least once if not twice a month to see her. For her birthday I organised it so we went to Paris and stayed with family friends of mine, bought her her Eurostar ticket. We went to Bestival together and had a great time.
She's been down to see me twice. On my birthday she didn't even get me a card and couldn't come to my actual birthday because her bf was having some sort of cricket/picnic thing. Blessing in disguise because I ended up meeting my bf that night.
She has promised that she and her other half were going to come down since September. I've called her and she never answers her phone, she gets back to me but it takes days and sometimes like a week. Whenever I do see her she rants she's so lonely and how much she misses me.
This weekend she was coming down, just her. My boyfriend organised some overtime to give us some space and I planned my whole weekend out. Called her Monday, no answer, called her Tuesday, no answer, Wednesday she texts to say sorry her phone broke and she'd call me. She didn't.
She was supposed to be arriving on Friday at about 7ish. Thursday evening 7pm she texts me saying "Can we do it another weekend? Sorry Xxx" I text back. No response.
I call her three times. She doesn't pick up.
Then today at like 4pm she texts me saying "Sorry. I'll call you tonight. Sorry" and that was it.
I'm sick of making the effort. I know she has nothing on this weekend. She has way more money to spend than me and is never short of a quid or two so cash isn't the issue. Her boyfriend is busy this weekend which made it ideal.
I can't be arsed anymore. I go out of my way for my friends and I never get it back. My boyfriend is really upset and has spent the last two days trying to cheer me up which I love but there's only some stuff a best mate can do ya know? And now he's gone on overtime so I'm on my own for the rest of the weekend.
Any advice guys?
My best friend and I have been mates for like 4 years. We did everything together and she practically lived at my house. When I met her she was shy, had never been kissed, never had a boyfriend and spent most of her time depressed and thought she had no friends. My actions made her meet the love of her life, I helped her get a job, brought her out of herself and she is so much happier now.
I ran out of money and had to move back home a year ago tomorrow, which was always going to be a drag. She lives like an hour and half away in London but I promised I would make the effort to see her. And I've kept it.
I've been up at least once if not twice a month to see her. For her birthday I organised it so we went to Paris and stayed with family friends of mine, bought her her Eurostar ticket. We went to Bestival together and had a great time.
She's been down to see me twice. On my birthday she didn't even get me a card and couldn't come to my actual birthday because her bf was having some sort of cricket/picnic thing. Blessing in disguise because I ended up meeting my bf that night.
She has promised that she and her other half were going to come down since September. I've called her and she never answers her phone, she gets back to me but it takes days and sometimes like a week. Whenever I do see her she rants she's so lonely and how much she misses me.
This weekend she was coming down, just her. My boyfriend organised some overtime to give us some space and I planned my whole weekend out. Called her Monday, no answer, called her Tuesday, no answer, Wednesday she texts to say sorry her phone broke and she'd call me. She didn't.
She was supposed to be arriving on Friday at about 7ish. Thursday evening 7pm she texts me saying "Can we do it another weekend? Sorry Xxx" I text back. No response.
I call her three times. She doesn't pick up.
Then today at like 4pm she texts me saying "Sorry. I'll call you tonight. Sorry" and that was it.
I'm sick of making the effort. I know she has nothing on this weekend. She has way more money to spend than me and is never short of a quid or two so cash isn't the issue. Her boyfriend is busy this weekend which made it ideal.
I can't be arsed anymore. I go out of my way for my friends and I never get it back. My boyfriend is really upset and has spent the last two days trying to cheer me up which I love but there's only some stuff a best mate can do ya know? And now he's gone on overtime so I'm on my own for the rest of the weekend.
Any advice guys?
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Comments
I would say write it all in an email, everything, how you feel and see what she says back. If it's just 'sorry' or an excuse, I would stop making an effort, personally. I know you were best friends all that time, but it's difficult when you're the only one who wants to be in this friendship.
If she comes back and starts making an effort, then give her a chance, there may be some serious problems she's dealing with, or she may be too loved up in her own life to realise other people around her.
With a friend of mine, I had a right rant at her for being a shit friend after some things went down and she said that she was sorry, and she knows and she felt horrible blah blah and things started picking up. So maybe you just need to let it all out.
That's just what I'd do.
But then the conversation turned to our lives and it was SO good to be able to share with her all the stuff that I can't with my bf. Not like bad stuff, but just in a different way, but I'm still SO pissed of with her. I don't know.
I guess I'll just go with it and see how things pan out but I'm not going to make any special effort from now on.
Thanks guys. Xxx