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Low Sex Drive Girlfriend

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I am a 19 year old male and have a 19 year old girlfriend. we have been together for 5 years now and been each others first for everything. She has a very sex drive that is low to non existent most times. We are at different colleges 400 miles apart and even with the separation i thought it would improve her drive but when we see each other its the same thing, very low. She tells me her friends think and want sex a lot and wishes she could be like them. She likes sex and can orgasm easily but is very rarely in the mood or has a thought about it. She thinks she has a problem and doesn't know how to fix it.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to say it, but it may simply be that she regards you more as a friend than a lover and hasn't recognised that she isn't "in love" with you. This is one of the problems of "firsts". It certainly happened that way for me.

    I was also 19 when I lost my virginity. I was wildly flattered that this guy thought that way about me. He was witty and intelligent, made me laugh etc: a great friend - but I wasn't that interested in him physically. Neither of us really understood why, but I realised pretty soon that there was a certain spark missing and - much to his disappointment - ended the relationship.

    It was another 2 or 3 years before I actually fell in love with someone, and it was only then that I understood what had been lacking in my previous relationships.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bin her :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    for 1
    she might love you
    and 2
    dont bin her .....

    why dont yous to sit and have a chat and see a doctor because it could be stress her mormones
    it has nothing to do with loving you because she obviouslys does if yous have been together that long

    keep it strong and i would see a doctor x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe youve grown apart?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    advice_confused wrote: »
    it has nothing to do with loving you because she obviouslys does if yous have been together that long

    Don't get me wrong. I never suggested that your girl doesn't love you, but there is a difference between loving someone and being "in love" that it sometimes takes several relationships to understand.

    Stress can certainly be an issue with some people, as can hormones, but as this is your first relationship, I would not assume that whatever is wrong is necessarily a medical matter.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hate to say this, but this happened to me and it was only the shock realisation when she got a new fella this week and her sex drive magically came back that I realised I was hiding from the truth for a long time, that the problem was that she didn't want me. But I think for some people it is difficult to say that they want to move on so instead they may pretend the problem is something else, like their body or depression or something. sometimes that is the genuine case but if you consider in a healthy loving relationship the sex should be there and it should be fun, if it's not you need to ask why, and simply saying 'she doesnt feel like it' is just not confronting the issue really. It might just be too difficult for her to hurt your feelings by saying she doesn't fancy you anymore. Maybe it's too difficult for her to admit that to herself, as well.

    Then again, it could be something else, but this is my (unfortunately painful) experience and really if there are problems you should address them sooner rather than later, instead of hanging out for hope that the relationship you want will blossom out of chance.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that's quite sound advice Shyboy, and something it took me an age to realise. Split up with my boyf 2 months ago, our sexlife had gone down the pan cos i just didn't want him anymore, although I did love him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Or maybe she is being truthful in that she just has a very low sex drive...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The only i eva had a low sex drive or non exinst was only when i was with a guy i didnt want to be with and when i ended and it and got with someone new it went back to normal. if ur not happy with the person ur with or in love with them your sex wanes
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    advice_confused wrote: »
    because it could be stress her mormones

    Always those damn mormones. :impissed:
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