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I dont really know what to do... :/

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I've been going out with someone for about 4 or 5 months all together.
We had been going out for 3 months when he dumped me for another girl, he asked her out on the same day as breaking up with me and I hated it. I felt like shit.
After like..A month I still really loved him.
He'd broke up with the other girl after about a week and he asked me out again. I said yes and we have been together for almost 2 months again.

However...

We have been going out for this long and I have seen him three times. I only ever talk to him using msn and well, it kinda sucks.
I seen him the other day and I was so excited but then he just about ignored me :/ He was with his friends and I understand that he's shy because I am too but it really hurt that he didnt even hug me after all this time.
Then loads of people have said he isnt worth it but I think he is.

But...Is he? Or am I an idiot..?


I think I love him but I'm not sure if thats just me wanting to...

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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hey Dems,
    Sorry to see you haven't had a reply about this for a while, how are you feeling about it now?

    It can be really hurtful when you put faith in a person and they don't quite behave in a way that you would expect or treat you the way you'd like to be treated.

    By the sounds of it, this guy isn't necessarily a horrible person at all, but just isn't quite ready for a relationship. Maybe he likes the idea of having someone to call his girlfriend but isn't ready for the reality of what that means.

    Being ignored by someone we like, boyfriend or otherwise is hurtful to say the least and perhaps your friends are right from the point of view that your time and thoughts could be better put into someone who takes notice of you and wants to share their affections with you.

    So maybe, if you're feeling brave, you could take action to find out if this guy is really boyfriend material once and for all. Perhaps invite him out on a date - like for some food or to the cinema and see how he responds. If he doesn't want to then that might be your sign that it will be more positive for you to take back some control and move on from him. On the other hand, he may actually be waiting to spend some time just the two of you and you can use the opportunity to find out why he ignored you before.

    Whatever the outcome - do take care of yourself and remember your friends have your best interests at heart. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for your reply :)
    Tbh... I would love to go somewhere with him...Like the cinema, or just...Anywhere. I have only seen him twice before when we have spent time together and it was great :D
    He told me a few weeks ago that he just wants to see him and spend time together, but...never said anything else about it.

    On Friday we had an arguement too :/
    I used to self harm, and have bulimia..And he said it was pathetic and I did it for attention etc. It made me feel like shit, but I still like him allot.

    All my friends say he's not worth it but to me he is... I dunno.
    Relationships are always so complicated ><

    I think I'm gonna ask him to see me this Friday at a concert Im going...

    Hope he comes xxx


    Thanks allot for your reply :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Speaking as the sister of a bulimic anorexic, I sympathise. Unfortunately, these conditions are extremely difficult for outsiders to understand. This guy doesn't sound as if he would be supportive in the event of another crisis. He probably doesn't know anything about bulimia or self harm other than what he has been told by "friends", and has made up his own mind about you. I would be inclined to ignore him for a while and see if he comes round. If he doesn't, he probably isn't worth the effort.

    Best wishes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He sounds like a bag of shit!
    he should be supportive about matters like that not make you feel bad about it!
    and as for hardly seing you, that sucks, i know when i meet somone, i like him he likes me, we want to spend as much time together as we can at the start and im sure most people are like that.

    he sounds abit immature. Id get rid and look for better. easier said than done i know but it will be worth it in the long run. the longer you stay the more feelings you'll get for him!
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