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Online Bullying **might be triggering**
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, so this is gonna be a bit of a rant, but i need to let it out, as this has (rightly or wrongly) really hurt me 
I am part of this online text/voice/webcam chat program, and there is a room i got into, and have been doing for the best part of 3 years. I have made a lot of online friends on the program, and even met up as a group with a few of them.
I used to go out with this guy, who was also on this chat program (my friend introduced us) ... and he 'created' this room, for all of our online 'group' to hang out in.
a year ago, he cheated on me- and so we broke up. I then stopped using the chat program because it was too painful to see/hear/chat to him.
so a few weeks ago, i rejoined the program, and went back into our groups 'room'. I was pleased to see everyone i knew from the past, and enjoyed chatting with them. My ex was there, and he was civil to me, having a normal conversation- until his new gf came in the room.
She (without provocation from me) typed 'fuck off, you suicidal whore' into the room, and 'kicked me out' the chat. I was so upset! Obviously my ex knew about my mental health issues, and had told her- so now i knew what opinion he has of me
Since last week the abuse has been pretty much constant whenever i enter the room, she types things like 'go slit your throat with a knife' and 'fuck off you cutter' etc- and then she kicks, or 'bans' me from the room (so i have to ask an 'operator' to unban me)
I have about 5/6 friends who also frequent this room, they tell me she is insecure, and i shouldn't let her keep me out of the room, as i have a right to be there, and i shouldn't let it get to me.
I have not uttered a word of abuse to this girl, all i have asked is 'why are you doing this' and got the answer 'because it's a chat room, and i can'
I do not want to stoop to her level, and text/shout abuse at her, i just want to go in the room i like, without feeling scared/anxious. The issue is, my ex 'owns' the room and so... what he says, goes (banning me etc)
The last thing that was said to me yesterday was 'i think someone should keep out of our relationship and fuck off' - (this was after literally just being in the room, talking to other people) i don't get it
*sigh* i know i could just not go on the chat program,and it would solve the issue, but i don't see why i should forgo my friends, because she has pushed me out. Am i being too childish here?
Opinions wanted
/rant end
**edit- i went out with the guy in real life... he 'virtually' cheated on me, with someone from the chat program online, then flew out to the states to meet her. When that ended, he met someone else from the chat program (who i don't know) and has moved in with her now**
I am part of this online text/voice/webcam chat program, and there is a room i got into, and have been doing for the best part of 3 years. I have made a lot of online friends on the program, and even met up as a group with a few of them.
I used to go out with this guy, who was also on this chat program (my friend introduced us) ... and he 'created' this room, for all of our online 'group' to hang out in.
a year ago, he cheated on me- and so we broke up. I then stopped using the chat program because it was too painful to see/hear/chat to him.
so a few weeks ago, i rejoined the program, and went back into our groups 'room'. I was pleased to see everyone i knew from the past, and enjoyed chatting with them. My ex was there, and he was civil to me, having a normal conversation- until his new gf came in the room.
She (without provocation from me) typed 'fuck off, you suicidal whore' into the room, and 'kicked me out' the chat. I was so upset! Obviously my ex knew about my mental health issues, and had told her- so now i knew what opinion he has of me
Since last week the abuse has been pretty much constant whenever i enter the room, she types things like 'go slit your throat with a knife' and 'fuck off you cutter' etc- and then she kicks, or 'bans' me from the room (so i have to ask an 'operator' to unban me)
I have about 5/6 friends who also frequent this room, they tell me she is insecure, and i shouldn't let her keep me out of the room, as i have a right to be there, and i shouldn't let it get to me.
I have not uttered a word of abuse to this girl, all i have asked is 'why are you doing this' and got the answer 'because it's a chat room, and i can'
I do not want to stoop to her level, and text/shout abuse at her, i just want to go in the room i like, without feeling scared/anxious. The issue is, my ex 'owns' the room and so... what he says, goes (banning me etc)
The last thing that was said to me yesterday was 'i think someone should keep out of our relationship and fuck off' - (this was after literally just being in the room, talking to other people) i don't get it
*sigh* i know i could just not go on the chat program,and it would solve the issue, but i don't see why i should forgo my friends, because she has pushed me out. Am i being too childish here?
Opinions wanted
/rant end
**edit- i went out with the guy in real life... he 'virtually' cheated on me, with someone from the chat program online, then flew out to the states to meet her. When that ended, he met someone else from the chat program (who i don't know) and has moved in with her now**
0
Comments
Do you think there is anyway this girl would actually be reasonable to you? If not (which to be honest it sounds like....) then maybe this particular chat thing isn't a good idea. I know you don't want to just drop your friends but is there any way round it you can think of?
I don't know much about chat programs and things but is there anyway you can create another "room" just for you and the people you want to stay in touch with? Also... i know you mentioned it wasn't moderated, but can you report users? Is there anyway you can get her banned or is it literally set up by this guy?
Mainly, i'm just really sorry that this happened to you, and I hope that you can find some way to ensure it doesn't happen agan. Keep ranting if you want, this girl sounds the sort that needs to be ranted about!!
Take care SK x
There are other ways to keep in touch with people, and it just seems you keep setting yourself up for grief.
she wants to speak to her friends though, thats what you've missed lol.
If he wants to be a pillock and she wants to be a bitch let them, and talk to everyone else oh and try not to take this stuff seriously, remember that people think anonimity gives them license to be a twat and in the end its all words and no bollocks.
And as mentioned, there are other ways to do that, without going into the chatroom.
Can't you talk to them on msn instead or something?
There really is no point going into the chatroom if you know what's going to happen.
As for talking to my ex about her behaviour, that isn't an option as he has taken her 'side' entirely and appears to feel the same way about me as she does (when she is not around, he has messaged me asking if i was ok, but since the abuse, he shouted at me 'don't message me, don't talk to me, fuck off' which pretty much sums up his view!
I think if i try and say anything generally in the room about feeling hurt, they will use that as ammunition to brand me as an 'attention seeker' or something.
I have chatted to all my friends individually about it, and they have said pretty much the same as you guys, they say that if she abuses me again then they will 'have words' .... the trouble is, she picks times when the people that care are not around, so she's crafty. She uses the time in the room when there are people i know, but not well, just enough to chat generally to... and they don't really get involved, other than to say 'don't start drama in the room'
I could 'make' a room, but it would cost hosting fees that i don't have. What i am doing at the moment is talking to people in private messages, and seeing a few of them when they pop into other rooms that are around.
It's just that a lot of them congregate in this one particular popular room, so i feel left out- But yeh... it is not worth the stress and abuse to go in there.
Re: the msn, facebook etc... there are people from all over the world, and they don't all have the same apps, a lot of them don't use any other chat programs (like msn) at the same time... as this one is fully loaded with cam/txt/voice.
I think i will just take a step back from it. It saddens me though.