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Advice please!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all! I am new here but am seeking some advice. I recently met an AMAZING guy. We hit it off right away and have been spending tons of time together lately. We are both in our mid to late 20s and are ready to find "the one".
This past weekend we had sex for the first time, and it was less than amazing to say the least. It was almost as if he had never touched a clitoris before. I really really like him, and want to fix this problem but everything he does is very painful for me. I tried mentioning that was he was doing hurt, but he didn't seem to get the point. I don't want to make him feel inadequate or uncomfortable, but I am really dreading doing it again. Any advice would be much appreciated!

MissPrissy

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why don't you just try to explain that a clit is a lot more delicate than a dick, and that it needs caressing and not pounding :-)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    missprissy wrote: »
    It was almost as if he had never touched a clitoris before.

    He probably hadn't, then. Time for you to get teaching. Mould him in your image.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Even thought that it might seem bad that "hes never touched a clit before" once you get back the slightly embarressing stage of telling him that he hurts you, as mist said you can mould him into a sex god, this has alot of potential....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    See the problem is that I HAVE already mentioned several times that he is hurting me, but he doesn't catch on. He is hard with his hands, mouth, everything. I have even gone so far as to say OUCH loudly. How else can I approach the issue???
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If he's not listening try hitting him around the head and getting upset with him, he'll have no option but to pay attention then.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You've told him, but have you tried showing him? I would try guiding his hand next time he's touching you, then offer lots of encouragement when he gets it right. A bit of positive reinforcement in this sort of situation never does any harm. Is there any aspect of the physical side of things you can work with, something he's good at, even if it's just kissing? You could say something like 'that was amazing, now I want you to touch me like this...' then show him. Sounds like he just needs to gain some confidence to break out of his current ways, so you can take the lead and be a bit assertive with him.

    From his point of view, if he's not very experienced and you're telling him something hurts, but not showing him how he could do better, then that's pretty confusing. Also too much negativity about his technique is likely to make him less inclined to change...flatter his ego a bit. He's probably waiting for you to give him some guidance, but still wants to keep trying in the hope he'll get better, as other posters have said that's not necessarily a bad position to be in.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When it comes round to it next time, SHOW him, guide his hand or tongue. TELL him when it feels good. He'll learn alot quicker that way!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you!

    Thank you all for your advice. I am going to get to work on this and see what I can do :) I'll keep you updated!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    show him for my sake! My gf and I have great sex but we've got into a (great) rut of short bj, then loads of positions of penatrative sex, but I'd like to make her cum without my penis for a change, plus I'd like longer bjs so if I scratch her back I hope she'll scratch mine. It looks like we might break up now, but I hope my next gf is more guiding in bed (just until I learn) so teach this guy! :hyper:
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