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Development in young people
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I guess things are different for everyone, but is it common with young people for confidence/esteem and general development to take some time to develop ?
Much depends on experience during childhood/teenage years I think.
I'm 24, but it's taken me a bit of time to develop.
One of my friends said he thinks he has become more confident every year since university. He said he thinks there is a big difference to me too.
In life thus far it could definitely have been a whole lot worse for me and looking back have lots of good memories.
I've just been reading a book called Winning with people. The author says he watched closely who his children hung around with and that the people they hung round with could either bring them up or knock them down.
I think I learnt this the very hard way. Saying that, as a child/teenager I think lots of young people maybe associate with the wrong people.
I had mental health problems at university as a result of certain people's treatment of me.
I played football in the local park from the age of 5 til 20 - it was organised by a friend of my Mum's who took his own kids down and it grew from there.
To put it mildly many of the people that played weren't the nicest. I enjoyed playing, but some of the people didn't do me any good.
Looking back I made a naive mistake. Just after my GCSES one of the people I played football with invited me to play with a group of people that summer. Not thinking anything of it I agreed.
That summer there were no problems and it was fine being involved with them. I don't really know why things changed. It seems from memory that 2 or 3 in the group picked on me and others in the group. I don't know why things changed, but certain members were fine and others were of a really bad character.
Most of them were heavily involved in drinking and took drugs - one or two took cocaine I think, but I wasn't there. Some lost their virginity in toilets. I heard one story where one of them slagged off some girl who didn't have all her teeth and then proceeded to snog her.
The thing is I think I had loyalty to these people as I had known them since an early age. I thought they were friends, but really they were just a bad influence and cutting them out of my life has been for the best.
I was playing football in the local park until 20 ie second year of uni when it eventually finished as the guy that refereed it was getting too old really. He was a great guy, but I don't think he realised what some people were like. Saying that he did find out one member of the group took cocaine at his brother in laws house.
But maybe we all make mistakes in life. I've met plenty of people who have had problems because of their teenage years. I think associating with the wrong sort/bullying are common during childhood and during your teenage years.
Maybe people even older than me associate with the wrong sort - I ran into someone a year ago who had been ill at the same time as me and she said she had been hanging around with people who got her into drugs, but she had cut them out of of her life and I think she was 30 something, but having bipolar she has been in hospital 7 times since I was in hospital at the age of 19 in 2004.
But in terms of developing, many people I have met since university (being involved in mental health circles) they are much older but not in a great position - long term mental health problems.
Hopefully being involved with MIND since university I have a bright future and feel proud of myself for finishing university despite the difficulties and now have learnt a lot about why I was ill and life in general with a few years extra life experience and living abroad/being involved with MIND since uni.
I suppose the main question is, is it common for people to take a bit of time to develop ? I mean, at the age of 18 when you go to uni you don't have that much life experience and in my case I had no idea I was going to make loads of good friends and meet lots of nice people and have the experiences I have now had.
How things change - the decision to cut them has been spot on.
Much depends on experience during childhood/teenage years I think.
I'm 24, but it's taken me a bit of time to develop.
One of my friends said he thinks he has become more confident every year since university. He said he thinks there is a big difference to me too.
In life thus far it could definitely have been a whole lot worse for me and looking back have lots of good memories.
I've just been reading a book called Winning with people. The author says he watched closely who his children hung around with and that the people they hung round with could either bring them up or knock them down.
I think I learnt this the very hard way. Saying that, as a child/teenager I think lots of young people maybe associate with the wrong people.
I had mental health problems at university as a result of certain people's treatment of me.
I played football in the local park from the age of 5 til 20 - it was organised by a friend of my Mum's who took his own kids down and it grew from there.
To put it mildly many of the people that played weren't the nicest. I enjoyed playing, but some of the people didn't do me any good.
Looking back I made a naive mistake. Just after my GCSES one of the people I played football with invited me to play with a group of people that summer. Not thinking anything of it I agreed.
That summer there were no problems and it was fine being involved with them. I don't really know why things changed. It seems from memory that 2 or 3 in the group picked on me and others in the group. I don't know why things changed, but certain members were fine and others were of a really bad character.
Most of them were heavily involved in drinking and took drugs - one or two took cocaine I think, but I wasn't there. Some lost their virginity in toilets. I heard one story where one of them slagged off some girl who didn't have all her teeth and then proceeded to snog her.
The thing is I think I had loyalty to these people as I had known them since an early age. I thought they were friends, but really they were just a bad influence and cutting them out of my life has been for the best.
I was playing football in the local park until 20 ie second year of uni when it eventually finished as the guy that refereed it was getting too old really. He was a great guy, but I don't think he realised what some people were like. Saying that he did find out one member of the group took cocaine at his brother in laws house.
But maybe we all make mistakes in life. I've met plenty of people who have had problems because of their teenage years. I think associating with the wrong sort/bullying are common during childhood and during your teenage years.
Maybe people even older than me associate with the wrong sort - I ran into someone a year ago who had been ill at the same time as me and she said she had been hanging around with people who got her into drugs, but she had cut them out of of her life and I think she was 30 something, but having bipolar she has been in hospital 7 times since I was in hospital at the age of 19 in 2004.
But in terms of developing, many people I have met since university (being involved in mental health circles) they are much older but not in a great position - long term mental health problems.
Hopefully being involved with MIND since university I have a bright future and feel proud of myself for finishing university despite the difficulties and now have learnt a lot about why I was ill and life in general with a few years extra life experience and living abroad/being involved with MIND since uni.
I suppose the main question is, is it common for people to take a bit of time to develop ? I mean, at the age of 18 when you go to uni you don't have that much life experience and in my case I had no idea I was going to make loads of good friends and meet lots of nice people and have the experiences I have now had.
How things change - the decision to cut them has been spot on.
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Comments
whatever you mean by development, from what I can see, you want an answer to why you think your development is... for lack of a better word, slow. you're right to think that your environment could play a part in it. how you grew up and who you grew up with and who you surround yourself with will most likely affect your development. but here rises an age old debate about nature and nurture. you may think that all the answers lie with your social history and that would be all well and good, but do consider your genetics. maybe your parents, grandparents, or someone in your family have experienced the same problems that you are experiencing. that might help you realize a few things about your life by comparing your problems with those of people in your family.
also, you mentioned mental health problems, what exactly were these problems? meaning, what were you diagnosed with if any. if you don't want to answer, it's fine. I can respect privacy.
I guess personal and social development is the umbrella term.
I just feel it has taken me time to become more confident and develop self esteem and feel more comfortable with me