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7 years now, but he's with her! :[
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING!!!!
how can i put this without sounding sad or pathetic??.....
ive known this guy for 7 years. since 6th grade. he was in 7th grade. he was my first boyfriend my first kiss, so from the start he has a bit of a special place in my heart. and after he moved to another school the next year we lost contact.
then we bumped into each other at a near by mall 3 years later. we got to talking and noticed the chemistry was still there. we started talking seriously again but nothing came to be. sadly we lost touch by the end of that year(freshman year).
by the time i was about to start my senior year, he and my brother(who were bff's lol in middle school) become close again. and i started seeing him more and more in my house which ill admit i liked!!!! but this time it was different...by that time he had a live-in gf of 2 yrs and a baby girl of 6 months. i met his gf which it kills me to say she was nice. another stupid thing that kills me is how brutally honest he was in her face infront of all us he told her that he wouldnt be with her if they didnt have a kid. he said it infront of my parents and my friends. and all she said was "i know" and left it to that. it kills me bc yu still ask yourself, "then if this is the case why the fuck are they still together???" well anyways.....
the weekend before school started i stayed over my bff's house, my parents where out of town. and right after work, i receive avery random phone call from him. he told me how i just popped in his head out of nowhere and started thinking about me and he wanted to see me and what not. i thought it was kinda nice and all but was a little weirded it out by the situation, i mean its obvious how he doenst love her yet they are still together??
continuing...that night we met up and like i said b4 the sparks where there once again...this "guy" makes me feel stupidly and compleately numb when ever im with him!!! but i felt sooooooooooo guilty bc like i said b4 i was really cool with his gf. and i felt so fake. yet so happy to be kissing him again.
sad to say that we continue the affair( got to call it for what it is) throughtout that whole year. i had half a day and always would sneak around with him. i LOVED being with him
. in his arms, kissing him, and just having him there and i cant say he wanted me for sex bc it NEVER went there. honest to god, yea it got pretty hot SOMETIMES but i never did go that far. but it hurt seeing how time went by and he just wouldnt leave his gf, and i FINALLY noticed that the only fool he was playing was me.
so when i finally decided to let him go from all the bs he kept on feeding me about he was going to leave his gf ect..., he came back to my life ONCE again. but this time i decided to be strong and seriously keep him to a distance and just be friends with him.
i changed my # and decided to get into things that ate my time up in order to not think about him. but ill be lying to myself if i tell yu i dont think about him everyday bc like a fool i fell for him. and i know he thinks about me. that is with out a dout. but whats killing me, is that i cant get him out. he's been there for 7 yrs and at first i thought it was some dumb middle school crush. idk what to do anymore bc in a way i never got some closure.
any advice??
how can i put this without sounding sad or pathetic??.....
ive known this guy for 7 years. since 6th grade. he was in 7th grade. he was my first boyfriend my first kiss, so from the start he has a bit of a special place in my heart. and after he moved to another school the next year we lost contact.
then we bumped into each other at a near by mall 3 years later. we got to talking and noticed the chemistry was still there. we started talking seriously again but nothing came to be. sadly we lost touch by the end of that year(freshman year).
by the time i was about to start my senior year, he and my brother(who were bff's lol in middle school) become close again. and i started seeing him more and more in my house which ill admit i liked!!!! but this time it was different...by that time he had a live-in gf of 2 yrs and a baby girl of 6 months. i met his gf which it kills me to say she was nice. another stupid thing that kills me is how brutally honest he was in her face infront of all us he told her that he wouldnt be with her if they didnt have a kid. he said it infront of my parents and my friends. and all she said was "i know" and left it to that. it kills me bc yu still ask yourself, "then if this is the case why the fuck are they still together???" well anyways.....
the weekend before school started i stayed over my bff's house, my parents where out of town. and right after work, i receive avery random phone call from him. he told me how i just popped in his head out of nowhere and started thinking about me and he wanted to see me and what not. i thought it was kinda nice and all but was a little weirded it out by the situation, i mean its obvious how he doenst love her yet they are still together??
continuing...that night we met up and like i said b4 the sparks where there once again...this "guy" makes me feel stupidly and compleately numb when ever im with him!!! but i felt sooooooooooo guilty bc like i said b4 i was really cool with his gf. and i felt so fake. yet so happy to be kissing him again.
sad to say that we continue the affair( got to call it for what it is) throughtout that whole year. i had half a day and always would sneak around with him. i LOVED being with him
. in his arms, kissing him, and just having him there and i cant say he wanted me for sex bc it NEVER went there. honest to god, yea it got pretty hot SOMETIMES but i never did go that far. but it hurt seeing how time went by and he just wouldnt leave his gf, and i FINALLY noticed that the only fool he was playing was me.so when i finally decided to let him go from all the bs he kept on feeding me about he was going to leave his gf ect..., he came back to my life ONCE again. but this time i decided to be strong and seriously keep him to a distance and just be friends with him.
i changed my # and decided to get into things that ate my time up in order to not think about him. but ill be lying to myself if i tell yu i dont think about him everyday bc like a fool i fell for him. and i know he thinks about me. that is with out a dout. but whats killing me, is that i cant get him out. he's been there for 7 yrs and at first i thought it was some dumb middle school crush. idk what to do anymore bc in a way i never got some closure.
any advice??
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Comments
Cutting him out your life is really hard, you haven't said if you still speak to him, but if you do try and stop. The only way to get him out your head is to not see him. He isn't worth it! I bet as well, that night times are the hardest? Because you can't go anywhere or do anything to get him out your head? Try listening to music, it helped me.
He's obviously going to stay with his current girlfriend, and child. But that is not important, you need to move on. You need to find yourself someone, someone really kind, and nice. Because, this guy you talk about, isn't good enough for you. And I feel sorry for his girlfriend, she doesn't know the things he's done and said to you. At least you can see he's not worth it, she can't see that.
And it wasn't foolish to fall for him, any girl would of done, I'm sure.
Good luck x x
X
:yes: wow. thx. really! i needed SOMEONE to come out and tell me this str8 up.
the main reason why i wrote a blog was bc i couldnt get an answer from anybody that didnt sugar coated it!
and you are right, a cheat will always be a cheat. i wont even try to change your mind and be like "but he only did it with me" bc thats bullshit.
also in one hand its weird that he was like this bc honestly he wasnt like that at all. what 7yrs can do to a person huh?!?!? :yes:
i really REALLY am trying to find a humourous side in all of this. yea im heartbroke bc she has him you know, but im learning as i go, and no, i dont talk to him, but he does call the house once in a while(brother lost phone) and i see his number in the caller id, i wont lie to you, the emotion that comes next, it freaking sucks!
but anyways, i appreciate your help.
if yu have any other advice, ill be right here lol:D:wave:
Also, don't be jealous of her. Feel sorry for her. She is dating a man who lie's. You surely wouldn't want that for your worst enemy. He doesn't love her for the right reasons, he's with her for the child. That is not a healthy relationship. And, you might think it could be different for you, but I'm sure at first they were mega in love... and then it went downhill.
So, when you see that caller I.D, you should say "what a lucky escape I had" he isn't worth the tears. Promise.
Xxx
:chin: hmmmm....gotta say almost about a yr ago i put things to a stop. it just sucks bc he's still IN THERE, you know what i mean!!! and im a strong independent chick, but this dude melts me away. i never let him see that of course, but after he left that last time, i broke down. i always wondered if he did the same.
Errmm well I never said "once a cheat always a cheat" because I know it's not true in all cases! I've cheated on people, but not for a while. And, I think there are very few people who've never thought about cheating, or thought of some one else while having sex. No body is ever completly satisfide (spelling) with what they have.
X
well thats good:D