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Lightening up?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Anybody got any foolproof ways to take life less seriously?

I find that I'm winding myself up - I've always been quite.. literal and very serious, since I can remember.

I think I'd feel a lot better if I could just let things slide more. I am getting jealous of my BF's flatmates at Uni because they get to spend more time with him than I do, and because he is doing things with them that he refused to ever do with me, like going out around bars. He posted a photo of himself poledancing on the same pole with another girl, and that really grated. I do trust him, but I really didn't like it, probably a sign of posessiveness and I don't want to be like that.

It's highly irritating and I'm comfort eating and that's not helpful when I'm trying to lose weight, but I can't find an off-switch. I'm hoping go to the gym more and run it off, but that means getting up at 5am to squeeze it in before lectures (I have a 1hr-ish commute to uni) or going back in the late evening because I only have off-peak membership.

Any suggestions?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Seems like you are finding excuses, not to do things, but to whinge about the things that are of benefit to you.

    I always find that a good gym workout keeps you fresh and awake early in the morning. Also, it wouldnt harm to keep on going to the gym even if you stopped comfort eating.

    Afterall the gym doesnt do all that much good if you are just using it to allow you to get away with comfort eating.

    Its quite hard to think of other things to do, to keep you occupied, and would also stop you comfort eating. Same with the worrying about your bf's friends, are you seriously telling us you want him comtrolled and under the thumb, with no friends of his own.

    Now imagine your bf was in your shoes, would you put up with your actions if you were him?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try to make light of situations when you can feel too many serious thoughts coming on. Just find the joke/something funny about your circumstances... kinda like 'you have to laugh or you'll cry' type sentiment! ;)

    Make your mouth smile even if you don't feel happy; it tricks the body into thinking you're happy, and then you become genuinely cheerful! :D

    If your bf is now doing stuff that he wouldn't do with you before, why don't you just do what you wanted in the first place with other people, like new friends you've made? Think you need to learn to relax your mind a bit - yoga, aromatherapy, do something creative like writing? They should all help.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you need to ask how to take life less seriously then I guess you are not ready to take life less seriously. It's something you just do, not speak some magic incantation and kazoom life's less seriously suddenly. I'm with MrG there. I think you are making excuses for yourself. Nothing's wrong with being a serious person, btw. but if you don't like the way it is you need to change it. And you can change it easily if you'd really like to.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Even though Im not the following kind of person, a lot of people think I am the eternal pessemist and can always find the dark humour to laugh about something in even the worst of situations.

    Try not to as much change who you are, but just change how you look at things. If you were looking at yourself on a video of the actions you did yesterday, say for example you did something moronic, would you be able to laugh at it in time, if so, try laughing at it now.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MrG wrote: »
    Same with the worrying about your bf's friends, are you seriously telling us you want him comtrolled and under the thumb, with no friends of his own.

    Now imagine your bf was in your shoes, would you put up with your actions if you were him?

    Probably true on the excuses count, but I am unhappy/frustrated and maybe I need to go deeper into the real reasons again.

    I'd joined the gym anyway, and was dieting but it's hard to stick to the diet of 8 small healthy meals a day (recommended by my doctor) when all I want is to nibble chocolate and the like. I know, will power required. I'm hoping to get back into a routine with it soon. When I joined the gym it didn't occur to me that I would need to be up at 5am to get in there before a morning lecture (I have mostly 9am starts and the train/bus times suck early in a morning) and I'm not 100% sure I want to go in an evening, but those are the two options so hopefully one will work out.

    I don't want to control him, it's more that I'm jealous of his friends for being able to do that with him when I never did. Hopefully I'll get to meet them at the end of the month and they'll be so nice I will feel differently about it, or at least have gotten used to it.

    I'm not quite sure what you mean by actions and I have to confess I would love it if he showed a bit of jealousy just once! But there is a limit and I'm trying to stay well clear of it. He is extremely laid back but I'm sure I could tip him over the edge if I let it carry on.

    Yoga is a good idea, and so is smiling, if I can remember to do it!
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