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neeeeed adviceeee plzz

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok..am going to try and cut a long story short. Am 21 and have been married for 3 years. its been good but also very hard.my husband could never hold down a job and started lazing at home every day on the settee watching t.v. all the bills were my responsibility and i started to resent him. its still no excuse for what i did.but i got talking to a doorman at a club and soon after started sleeping with him.as soon as i had layed eyes on him,something went off inside me as cheesy as it sounds.you could say that we were just fuck buddies,and a few weeks later i found out he had a girlfriend. he's 37 so its quite a big age gap but despite all that i fell for him. when it all got too much for me i decided to call it quits.i told him i didnt wanto speak to him again.thats when he asked me out. he said he broke up with his girlfriend to be with me.i know that i need to leave my husband as its blatant that am not in love with him no more but do i go with the other guy???? please try and understand that this is just a very short side of the story and a lot of details have been left out ..so please try and understand

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    t_s_love wrote: »
    ok..am going to try and cut a long story short. Am 21 and have been married for 3 years. its been good but also very hard.my husband could never hold down a job and started lazing at home every day on the settee watching t.v. all the bills were my responsibility and i started to resent him. its still no excuse for what i did.but i got talking to a doorman at a club and soon after started sleeping with him.as soon as i had layed eyes on him,something went off inside me as cheesy as it sounds.you could say that we were just fuck buddies,and a few weeks later i found out he had a girlfriend. he's 37 so its quite a big age gap but despite all that i fell for him. when it all got too much for me i decided to call it quits.i told him i didnt wanto speak to him again.thats when he asked me out. he said he broke up with his girlfriend to be with me.i know that i need to leave my husband as its blatant that am not in love with him no more but do i go with the other guy???? please try and understand that this is just a very short side of the story and a lot of details have been left out ..so please try and understand

    The questions are

    do you love this otherman?
    do you NOT love your husband?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Graham is right. Being "in love" with someone is not the same as loving them. More often than not, the sensation of being "in love" diminishes with time though, in a good relationship, a deeper kind of love takes its place. You may have lost a degree of respect for your husband, but it doesn't necessarily mean you don't love him.

    As for whether or not you should leave your husband for this other guy is a matter for you. My own feeling is that you may be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. Although you and your doorman may have a bit of sexual chemistry going on, he doesn't sound as if he is likely to be any more commited to you than he was to his former girlfriend. Add to that a substantial age gap, and I would say your relationship is doomed to failure.

    My advice to you would be to treat the two issues separately. Be honest about your feelings towards your husband and leave him if you feel that it is best for you. Then consider your prospects with the sexy doorman.
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