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Shy
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Just wondering if anyone can give me some pointers on how to deal with this situation...
I moved into a house share a year ago with strangers, 3 of us originally then the girl left to move in with her boyfriend. Basically it's been one of the most relaxed years of my life in terms of everyone getting on, no arguments etc. Towards the beginning of this year I got a bit closer to the guy I'm still living with, just in terms of going out drinking, parties, sitting around on an evening talking more. I don't think I've met anyone who shares as many interests, thinks/behaves in the same way (we both love playing music, are fairly introvert and think/worry far too much about the future etc). It's gradually reached the stage where we banter and flirt a lot. It started by him talking a lot about wanting to meet a girl, settle down etc and him asking about my past relationships etc. He's single and not been seeing anyone whilst we've lived together and isn't the type to go out and randomly bring girls back (or spend the night at their's) etc, so quite serious when it comes to relationships and feelings.
A couple of months ago his friend moved in with us and she's joined him in dropping hints that he's interested. I've decided that I want to go for it with him and I'm a lot more emotionally in the right place to have a serious relationship than I was at the start of the year. With being well suited to him I'd regret not doing something about the feelings I have. The problem is when we're alone together there's always a lot of nervousness from both of us and we've never managed to talk about what's going on or kiss or anything. Our housemate made a comment about there being a lot of emotions in the room one night and it being romantic and left us alone. We were sat close to each other and we moved hands slightly closer but didn't touch. He's said before that he tries to impress me and I've told him he doesn't need to, which seemed to reassure him - big smile and he walked off singing and seemed happy when I followed him and we sat and talked.
What I'm looking for is some ideas on how I can make things a bit less cryptic between us. I don't know if I should just make a move and hold his hand or try to kiss him or if it would be better to try to talk to him and let him know the option of a relationship with me is there. Or given our housemate seems aware something is going on, maybe talk to her and see if she has any suggestions. I just don't want to mess things up.
Any advice please?
I moved into a house share a year ago with strangers, 3 of us originally then the girl left to move in with her boyfriend. Basically it's been one of the most relaxed years of my life in terms of everyone getting on, no arguments etc. Towards the beginning of this year I got a bit closer to the guy I'm still living with, just in terms of going out drinking, parties, sitting around on an evening talking more. I don't think I've met anyone who shares as many interests, thinks/behaves in the same way (we both love playing music, are fairly introvert and think/worry far too much about the future etc). It's gradually reached the stage where we banter and flirt a lot. It started by him talking a lot about wanting to meet a girl, settle down etc and him asking about my past relationships etc. He's single and not been seeing anyone whilst we've lived together and isn't the type to go out and randomly bring girls back (or spend the night at their's) etc, so quite serious when it comes to relationships and feelings.
A couple of months ago his friend moved in with us and she's joined him in dropping hints that he's interested. I've decided that I want to go for it with him and I'm a lot more emotionally in the right place to have a serious relationship than I was at the start of the year. With being well suited to him I'd regret not doing something about the feelings I have. The problem is when we're alone together there's always a lot of nervousness from both of us and we've never managed to talk about what's going on or kiss or anything. Our housemate made a comment about there being a lot of emotions in the room one night and it being romantic and left us alone. We were sat close to each other and we moved hands slightly closer but didn't touch. He's said before that he tries to impress me and I've told him he doesn't need to, which seemed to reassure him - big smile and he walked off singing and seemed happy when I followed him and we sat and talked.
What I'm looking for is some ideas on how I can make things a bit less cryptic between us. I don't know if I should just make a move and hold his hand or try to kiss him or if it would be better to try to talk to him and let him know the option of a relationship with me is there. Or given our housemate seems aware something is going on, maybe talk to her and see if she has any suggestions. I just don't want to mess things up.
Any advice please?
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Comments
I suggest just going for it. Sounds definately like he wanted to kiss/hold hands just as much as you so I wouldnt worry about being rejected.
Why dont you ask him to go to the cinema or go for a meal? That way he'll hopefully take the hint and see that you are romantically interested in him.
You could just tell him how you feel and ask if he feels the same way? If i hadnt have done that I wouldnt be with my bf of 4 years now
Good luck
S xxx