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Orgasm issues
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Been with my boyfriend for about 5 months, been having sex for just less than half that, and he really arouses me and I really love him but we're having real trouble getting me to cum. I don't understand this as every time I masturbate I have no trouble at all and he really arouses me (gets me v. wet etc) and he tries to get me off and it's like I'm really close but never quite there? I'm pretty sure it's nothing he's doing wrong, because what he's doing feels really, REALLY good - a lot better than what I do to myself, actually.
Anyway, we've got me to orgasm a couple of times but it's like this really big stressful thing and I reckon it's cos I get nervous about it and that stops it happening. I love him, and feel really relaxed with him in general, but because I know I don't usually cum I get worried about it. He's lovely about it and tells me not to worry - and I still love sex and everything but I feel like he's trying so hard to get me off and it just isn't happening, though we both want it so much.
Anyone had a similar problem? How did you resolve it? I thought it would go away with time, but doesn't seem to be.
(sorry for the essay, just wanted to explain issue)
Any help much appreciated
thanks!
Anyway, we've got me to orgasm a couple of times but it's like this really big stressful thing and I reckon it's cos I get nervous about it and that stops it happening. I love him, and feel really relaxed with him in general, but because I know I don't usually cum I get worried about it. He's lovely about it and tells me not to worry - and I still love sex and everything but I feel like he's trying so hard to get me off and it just isn't happening, though we both want it so much.
Anyone had a similar problem? How did you resolve it? I thought it would go away with time, but doesn't seem to be.
(sorry for the essay, just wanted to explain issue)
Any help much appreciated
thanks! 0
Comments
and guys tend to like to watch that too...;)
Tried that, didn't work. The only times I've got off is when he's fingering me and I do the clitoris work... this is during foreplay, to clarify, not intercourse, cos I know that's a common problem.
It's just weird cos all the stimulation's there... but nothing much is happening.
that makes me sound like such a hippy!
are you stressed out in other ares of your life?
just chill! maybe you could try different situations/scenarios - knock out some of the other senses (blindfolds/tie hands up) so that you can concentrate more on what hes doing to you?
good luck with it - maybe it'll fix itself
the problem is obvious, it's because you're both being too selfless in bed. i'm pretty sure you're both very giving sexually in bed. you're too nice, darling... the funny thing about orgasms are twistedly selfish by nature, you can't have an orgasm on command for your loved one, can you?
when you cum, it's for you. and only you. so you have to let go a little when your man is pounding you, close your eyes and think about how hot it is that he's inside of you. or do whatever you need to to get you there, play with your clit, scream at your lover to "f*ck you harder!!", etc.
anything that will get you off. anything..
let go.
just let go.
like how you feel when you're doing alone.
nothing shameful about it.
(unless that turns you on. hehe.)
the key to a good sex life with your lover is being able to give and take at different times. it's too hard to give pleasure and try to be pleasured at the same time, isn't it?
get your cum on tomorrow, and give him his the next day, if you know what i mean?