Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Is it possible..

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
to be able to keep a strong friendship?

During the summer we started MSN'ing/Facebook/texting a lot and what not. It's been really nice up to date and such, but I was wondering if it was possible to be able to maintain this kind of friendship.

Starting September I'll be in college and my friend'll be in their last year of high school.

I definitely want the friendship to stay strong and continue like so, and I think my friend does as well, but do you guys think that it's possible to keep a strong friendship for a long time/forever?

Thanks.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's difficult to say. Peoples' circumstances change and it may be that due to being busier/pressurised through school and college work, you don't have as much time to spend on MSN etc chatting to each other. But good friendships do last even without such a massive amount of contact. Some of my best friends I don't see for weeks at a time due to the distance between us, but that doesn't make our friendship any less valuable or make me feel less close to them. You just have to both put the effort in to make time for each other when you can and be accepting of each other when you can't :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I too thought this as well. A lot of people were telling me that there was no point trying to keep the friendship going because I'm going to college and my friend'll still be in high school, and because long distance relationships (friend or dating w/e) never work so that's why I was kinda shakey. I hold dear this friendship than any other ones that I have so yeah.

    And in the end, as long as I keep it going the way it is, and try to hang out in person from time to time and it should be okay?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I too thought this as well. A lot of people were telling me that there was no point trying to keep the friendship going because I'm going to college and my friend'll still be in high school, and because long distance relationships (friend or dating w/e) never work. And I hold this friendship more dear than any other of my friendships.

    And in the end, as long as I keep it going the way it is(commuting on facebook, texting, msn from time to time, etc), and try to hang out in person from time to time and it should be okay?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have a childhood friend and we are still friends for long time already. Yes it is possible to be friends for such a long time as long as you have done some effort to make it work
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea, a lot of my friends are in different schools to me. And some in different countries.. I am still in touch with them, but I don't see them much. The friendship is still the same... but it changes. It's difficult to explain, but if you want to stay in touch with them just email them once or twice a week :-)
    C-A x
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I ended up confessing....Which is stupid on my part, because now I pushed her away.

    I asked if we could still be close friends and she said "I'm sure we'll be fine" and she said earlier that it was all too sudden. Anyway, I don't like it. I'm happy I confessed, but I'm sad I lost a good friend.

    What should I do? Do you guys think it's disappearing - Our close friendship, that is.
  • Options
    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Its impossible to say, all you can do is take time and see how it works out. Hopefully it'll work out well :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So just give her time?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Definitely. With a good friendship you shouldn't have to set parameters, it shouldn't be "I want us to be really close and I want you to email me as much as you do now and ring me every Wednesday and Sunday and spend every Thursday night on MSN" - it should just happen naturally. Obviously if you're living far apart from each other, a bit more effort is required, but it sounds like you might have been a bit too full-on, so I would just let things lie for a bit and wait for her to contact you. If she doesn't, perhaps send her a "how are things" text in a couple of weeks, but don't bombard her and don't put pressure on her by sending her a massive long email or anything like that.

    Are you male or female, by the way?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, I do realize that I was a bit too aggressive. I was stressed out because I wasn't adapting to the new school life, so I started talking to her, and she knew something was wrong. She kept asking about it, and I gave into the pressure. My friends tell me it's fine because when I asked "will we still be able to be the close friends that we were before?" and she replied "I'm sure we will"

    However, I did realize something. I don't like her in the way a guy and girl do. I like her as a best friend. She was a person I could always open up to, and she'd be honest with me, that is why I felt that I could tell her. I honestly thought that maybe that I did like her, but it turns out I was just infatuated and I could care less whether she said yes or no. I'm more worried about my friendship with her.

    The reason I told her is because I was like "Do you think we'll always be close friends" and she was like "I don't believe in this forever bullshit amongst friends and bullshit, I don't know what'll happen when i enter university. We'll be miles apart from each other. It will be tough, but I will try to keep in touch. But I do want you to know that I'll be here[in person] as long as I'm alive though my body may be somewhere else.". This scared me and I panicked. I figured that if i told her something that would usually take a lot of courage would make her appreciate my honesty and the friendship even more. But, I worded it wrong. I was going to explain, but by then she had already thought that I liked her and wanted a relationship.

    Not that I don't. She's a wonderful person, she's definitely a dream girl, but she's not the one I'd want to spend time with. I like her as the sibling I never had and that is why I was so scared when she said those words. I cherish my friendships so much that I would rather die than see this one fade [Not literally die, though].

    and I'm a guy.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *update* Just got a message from her on facebook saying:

    "Hey. Telling me took a lot of courage so I just wanted to say thanks. bviously it'd be rude to just leave you hanging after something this big. I'm not mad, but I'm going to be honest -- everything is hella awkward now. It'll be difficult to refer to you as nickname1 or say "ily" cause now I know that you're not interpreting the way I mean for it to sound. Don't feel bad.Feelings are feelings."

    I told her what happened. And I honestly hope she believes me because the fact that I'm losing her as a friend is making me sad.
Sign In or Register to comment.