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Unsupportive friends
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, I was wondering if anyone could give me some support/advice.
Earlier this year my dad died very suddenly, then my mum became very ill. During this time, none of my friends have been supportive. They've bearly initiated any contact with me, even though I've contacted them. Two friends I even spoke to said they were 'too busy with their own problems'. It seems its like this for every friend I have now, they never seem to offer anything. I feel so alone. The only supportive person has been my boyfriend.
In the past I have supported my friends, listened to their endless problems, invited them out places (which by the way was practically one sided from me!), yet nothing comes back to me. At all. Ever. Especially at a time I need it.
So now I've dropped them all. I have no friends. But it makes me so sad. If it wasn't for my boyfriend, I would have gone completely down by now.
Please help. I don't know what to do now.
Earlier this year my dad died very suddenly, then my mum became very ill. During this time, none of my friends have been supportive. They've bearly initiated any contact with me, even though I've contacted them. Two friends I even spoke to said they were 'too busy with their own problems'. It seems its like this for every friend I have now, they never seem to offer anything. I feel so alone. The only supportive person has been my boyfriend.
In the past I have supported my friends, listened to their endless problems, invited them out places (which by the way was practically one sided from me!), yet nothing comes back to me. At all. Ever. Especially at a time I need it.
So now I've dropped them all. I have no friends. But it makes me so sad. If it wasn't for my boyfriend, I would have gone completely down by now.
Please help. I don't know what to do now.
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Comments
Years ago a really good friend of mine lost her sister suddenly. She phoned me in the morning to tell me, and I was useless. It wasn't because I didn't care, it was because I was young and just didn't have a clue what to say to her. I still feel bad about this because she needed her friends support, and I was crap. It's something that she has never really got over and I wish I had done more at the time.
I'm telling you this as it might be that your friends just don't know what to say/do. I know this seems pretty lame, and it isn't nice when they say they're too busy with their own problems, but it's a possibility. It might be a good idea to speak to your friends and explain how you feel before cutting all ties. It could be that they are so use to you helping them out with their problems, they don't know what to do now it's you needing their support! Abit like when your mum is ill, and as the child you're the one doing everything round the house and taking care of things, you take a role reversal. Sorry maybe I'm talking nonsense, but even if you do decide to drop all your mates, you have your boyfriend and you will make new friends. It's times like this that you learn who your real friends are, and if they really don't care to help you then you are better of without them.