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Am i being stupid?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Ive been with my boyfriend a while now, everythings great, i know he would never cheat on me or anything like that, hes very loving, always telling me he loves me and only has eyes for me. But before we were together, before i really knew him, he slept with one of my best friends. I know i didnt know him properly back then, but its on my mind alot. Like i cant be the same with her anymore, like have girl chats, cos she already knows about private things about my boyfriend and it really hurts :( They didnt even go out, it was only one time and nothing special, but all the people he has been with before keep making me think, im not jealous or anything, i just keep wondering. I just dont know if i can be friends with her properly, like before. Shes a bit of a slag, has a reputation for herself, has been with most people, but i dont like the thought of him being with her, and it was in his car too. I sat in there yesterday and it was the only thing i could think of. I know im just stupid, its all in the past, its going to never happen again, he has me now and thats it, i know all that, but why am i thinking about it?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know about the stupid part, but you are insecure. That's why a thing like this is bugging you. Since you are rather young (I think I recall that you are) it is fairly common.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    I don't know about the stupid part, but you are insecure. That's why a thing like this is bugging you. Since you are rather young (I think I recall that you are) it is fairly common.

    :yes:

    Is it effecting your relationship with you bf?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Listen, i can see why your uncomfortable about it, but lets face it, neither of them have done anything wrong. It was before you and him, and it was just sex! everyones got a past and you have to accept that, its unfortunate he had an incident with your mate but thats all it was! it didnt mean anything to either of them and if you werent insecure, you'd just laugh about it. One of my best mates slept with my ex years before i got with him, It didnt bother me in the least. Shit happens and as long as he doesnt like her and she doesnt like him now, Whats to worry about? stop winding yourself up and get over it... Sorry to sound harsh, im not trying to be, ive been in the same boat and suddenly realised i was worrying over nothing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    x</3x wrote: »
    Listen, i can see why your uncomfortable about it, but lets face it, neither of them have done anything wrong. It was before you and him, and it was just sex! everyones got a past and you have to accept that, its unfortunate he had an incident with your mate but thats all it was! it didnt mean anything to either of them and if you werent insecure, you'd just laugh about it. One of my best mates slept with my ex years before i got with him, It didnt bother me in the least. Shit happens and as long as he doesnt like her and she doesnt like him now, Whats to worry about? stop winding yourself up and get over it... Sorry to sound harsh, im not trying to be, ive been in the same boat and suddenly realised i was worrying over nothing.

    Yeah, i know, im not stupid i get that, cos i did like say that. Im obviously inscure.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Listen youve come here for advice, your getting it. If you dont like the advice your being given, Dont get all cocky about it. were here to help...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im not getting cocky about it, that aint being cocky. But it sounded like you were being patronising to me, and i dont like that. I know im insucure, i know that its all in the past and theres nothing in it, i mentioned all that in my original post, what im trying to say is, for some mad reason i cant get it out of my head. I had a good chat with him tonight though, and that helped.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wasnt being patronising at all, i did say if it sounds harsh i dont mean it that way, give me credit, it was 2am and ive had 3 hours sleep in the last 48 hours! Im just being short and simple, you have to help yourself and stop winding your self up about it! your your own demon in this situation.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay i understand, but as other people had said, i feel insecure. I just need to stop worrying. :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    and the worst part of being insecure is winding yourself up more about things...
    Just push the thoughts out of your head... and stop worrying! trust me, i had to do it!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats what it is, i keep wondering about silly little things, it done my head in! But we had a chat tonight, and i feel alot better now!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aww at least he listens to you then... he sounds like a nice guy, I take it he listend to you?
    Well done for speaking to him chuck, must of taken guts!!
    C-A x
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