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Urgent help required - her violent ex
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi guys. need some help big time.
basically i met this lass over the web, not normally my style but she seemed cool an that and we started texting and calling and she seems like a really cool person. we'd arranged to meet on friday (tomorro) just to go for a drink and stuff. nothing more, i mean if stuff happened it happened but just to go for a friendly drink.
she had mentioned that her ex had called a couple of times to give her abuse. she said that he's pretty sick in the head and had actually sexually assaulted her a while back. she had reported it but when it came down to it, it was her word against him and his mates and so nothing was proved. still, he kept calling her, belittling her, generally giving her abuse for apparently nothing.
anyways, like i said, we had planned to meet up and then about 1/2 an hour ago i get a text from her number saying this:
"stop texting dis fone u pervertd little twat"
i asked who this was and got the reply-
"i kno wot ppl like u r like. u keep talkin 2 her will brainwash her into doin wot u want. she's my fuckin bitch and i am so fuckin cross about wot she is doing. bitch is guna get it now. i suggest you leave it well alone" (sorry for text speak!)
again i asked who this was. got the reply;
"i am da guy she's desperate to get away from but wil neva be able to ya see. especially not to meet a dik like u. u will never hav her. now den i mak it clea u dnt contact my girlfriend agen? U do and it wil be the last thing she duz. ders no way she is runnin off to a dik like u"
so i replied saying fine, but said not to hurt her. got the reply;
"and wot the fuck r u going to do if i do? She only deserves to be told what to do".
basically i have no idea what to do. the way i see it, there's three options;
1 - do nothing though i will feel guilty about doing nothing if im honest. sure, i don't really know this girl but still, i somehow dont feel right just standing by and doing nothing
2 - try to call her / contact her. i have no idea how he's got hold of her phone but i have to assume he will go through with his threats if i do
3 - go to the police, give them the details and let them handle it. extreme, and will perhaps make him even more angry than before and even more determined to do something. even if he does get nicked, whats the longest he could get? plus he'd probably be out on bail before going to trial anyways, even if it went that far.
while i dont want to make things worse, i dont want to stand by and let something awful happen. just really confused. any advice greatly appreciated. cheers for reading.
- dan
basically i met this lass over the web, not normally my style but she seemed cool an that and we started texting and calling and she seems like a really cool person. we'd arranged to meet on friday (tomorro) just to go for a drink and stuff. nothing more, i mean if stuff happened it happened but just to go for a friendly drink.
she had mentioned that her ex had called a couple of times to give her abuse. she said that he's pretty sick in the head and had actually sexually assaulted her a while back. she had reported it but when it came down to it, it was her word against him and his mates and so nothing was proved. still, he kept calling her, belittling her, generally giving her abuse for apparently nothing.
anyways, like i said, we had planned to meet up and then about 1/2 an hour ago i get a text from her number saying this:
"stop texting dis fone u pervertd little twat"
i asked who this was and got the reply-
"i kno wot ppl like u r like. u keep talkin 2 her will brainwash her into doin wot u want. she's my fuckin bitch and i am so fuckin cross about wot she is doing. bitch is guna get it now. i suggest you leave it well alone" (sorry for text speak!)
again i asked who this was. got the reply;
"i am da guy she's desperate to get away from but wil neva be able to ya see. especially not to meet a dik like u. u will never hav her. now den i mak it clea u dnt contact my girlfriend agen? U do and it wil be the last thing she duz. ders no way she is runnin off to a dik like u"
so i replied saying fine, but said not to hurt her. got the reply;
"and wot the fuck r u going to do if i do? She only deserves to be told what to do".
basically i have no idea what to do. the way i see it, there's three options;
1 - do nothing though i will feel guilty about doing nothing if im honest. sure, i don't really know this girl but still, i somehow dont feel right just standing by and doing nothing
2 - try to call her / contact her. i have no idea how he's got hold of her phone but i have to assume he will go through with his threats if i do
3 - go to the police, give them the details and let them handle it. extreme, and will perhaps make him even more angry than before and even more determined to do something. even if he does get nicked, whats the longest he could get? plus he'd probably be out on bail before going to trial anyways, even if it went that far.
while i dont want to make things worse, i dont want to stand by and let something awful happen. just really confused. any advice greatly appreciated. cheers for reading.
- dan
0
Comments
Then
Steer clear. She may seem like a nice girl but she is stuck in the relationship, and you're only gonna get drawn into a long, never ending life of abusive phone calls and visits from the ex.
Let her come to you when she's ready.
:yes:
I hope it works out OK.
But i'd stay away until it gets sorted and she can get away from this crazy ex because he could come for you and take it out on you next and you dont want that.
As for staying away, I don't agree with the other posters. I don't think you should let him intimidate either of you. If she's into you, and you're into her, then go for it.