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betrayed by my friends

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi, this is very long. so i'm really sorry. i also hope ive posted this in the right place as i would hate to annoy people with my 1st post. that wouldn't be a great start.

basically, i lived in a student house with 4 people that i called my friends and trusted deeply. i guess i enjoyed the lifestyle and freedom i had. the 1st poblem came when i was the only one that bothered to put my name on the bills. i didnt think too much about it as they were my friends and i thought it would be ok...

however when we got our 1st bill sent through, which was close to £1000, everyone said they couldnt afford to pay. very quickly this lead to letters from balifs and eventually i was forced to pay the entire bill myself.

i guess the most painful part is that none of them saw this as a problem. none of them cared that i had sacraficed so much for them and they made me feel like a greedy, heartless person for expecting to be repaid.

i gave them other money loans for food etc.. but they also stole from me, one "friend" took MY credit card on a night out, they took food from my cupboard, broke into my bedroom and let people sleep in my bed when i wasnt there!

i left the house, depressed and penniless and took 2 months off uni. sadly, my "friends" took this time to tell everybody else on our course that i had "gone off the rails" and was basically a nasty character.
ive since been cut out of any social life i had at the university.

so... right now, i am on the verge of leaving uni as i am so far behind with my work and i dont know how i can exist on a course with these people. how can i face everybody else on the course with whats been said about me? perhaps i should cut my losses and leave?

thanks for reading, sorry it was long. i'd appreciate any advice you have to offer for me.
thanks for your time :-)


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sounds like they just used you for your money and didnt want your friendship.

    people like them should be executed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's a hard lesson, but you must never trust ANYBODY when you're flatting. You always make sure there is a reasonable distribution of responsibility. By this I mean if one person has the power bill in their name, another should collect the rent and another should be responsible for the phone. Never pay a bill until you have seen it, and if someone isn't keeping up with their bills kick them out of the flat. In your case nobody was keeping up with the bills so you did the right thing moving out.

    Don't let these bastards drive you out of uni. The world is full of people willing to take advantage of you, you just need to learn to expect it and guard against it. Most people I know who have flatted can tell stories like yours, the head tenant of my flat is a slimy bastard and I make sure I see every bill before I pay it.

    What you should do is take them to court for the money owed to you. You will win as you can prove that the bills were in your name and they will not be able to provide proof of payment. You may not be able to prove you loaned them money for food, but you should get back what you can and be glad this lesson wasn't any more expensive than it was.

    As far as the rumours go, that's tough. There isn't a whole lot you can do except find friends who will not abandon you so easily. Real friends would have come to you and asked what was going on when they heard you were "off the rails". Fuck 'em, the world's full of people and you don't need to surround yourself with trash. Make quality friendships with people of quality.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How do you know they've been telling people you're 'off the rails' if you dont even go out socially anymore?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Unfortunately you haven't learnt the ways of the world before you went to Uni, just take this as a lessson and learn from it!

    Maybe I'm pretty cynical from my experiences growing up but people have got to earn my trust, its never automatic and even then apart from my very good friends (who i've known lots of years) I rarely trust anyone!

    You can still be a good person and a good friend without leaving the door open to get screwed over.... putting your name solely on the bill left that door wide open and unfortunately you get screwed and shit 1k is a lot of money!

    Don't know if the lending money for food came after... if it did then that was pretty stupid, especially been a grand out of pocket already!

    But like I started my post, your obviously a good person, maybe not so "street-wise" as they say, so just take this as a lesson, be careful with your money, if you lend someone a tenner ask when they will pay it back, if they don't pay you back on time then never lend to that person again....simples.

    Don't quit Uni for them, the low-life aint worth it!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sadly you cant always choose the aresoles you end up with in this world. Yeah they took advantage and you allowed them, through being naive ( users can spot a sucker from a mile away!) to screw that part of your life up. Its behind you now, it happened, live with it, learn from it, know the signs next time and dont let this bunch of blood sucking losers screw up the rest of your life, stay on at Uni, stare them out when you see them, make them feel ashamed, but most importantly use this as something to make you stronger, more determined, in some respects its done you a favour cos you wont suffer cretins like that again!!
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