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Fear of losing my friends //rant

SystemSystem Posts: 8,585 Community Managers
Hey..recently ive had a real worry that all my friends are moving on and meeting new people and all im doing is staying home n fucking jack shit. I just think to maself oh what if they find someone better than me, whos cooler or is nicer to be around.
Am i being stupid?
I know what your first instict is, which is to tell me to get out more..and do something. I WAS going to. In other previous posts i fell out with a friend of mine and then didnt end up going out..we fell out because he was being a cunt over MIGHT getting a lass.

Anyway..I believe this is linked to my recently found out anxiety..I immideatly thought they would all hate me.
But on the other hand i went to my friends party and there was 1 new person there who id idnt know and it was all fine and were friends now.


Thats what i want is to meet new people but slowly work my way up the big groups instead of just being thrown right in..but there is no way of doing that :/

rant over itd be nice for a comment if you can understand my waffle

Comments

  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Boards Champion
    Hey Grahaminneed,

    How are you feeling about all of this now?

    Not waffle - I can see why any of this stuff would make you feel upset or anxious.

    It's great you can see the positive in all this - like the fact you made friends with a new person at a party - but it sounds like some self-esteem boosting might be in order. :) Have you tried any of the practical exercises on the BBC website?

    It may actually be possible to meet people and then work your way into bigger groups - as long as you don't see the individuals you meet as a stepping stone into a bigger group, but recognise them for their own traits. That way you're making more meaningful friendships that may actually be better than being part of a bigger group. I guess what I'm asking is what do you see as the value in having a place in a big group of people as opposed to having a few good friends you can have fun with? Or maybe I've misunderstood?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Like i had no problem with meeting 1 new person at that party but people ask me u shud come out with us lot at the weekend etc etc and id love to but theres loads of em and i wouldnt be comfortable at all..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there Grahaminneed ,

    Would the friend you made at the party go with you if you did go and hang out with the others? This might make you feel easier about it all, going with someone is much easier than going on your own and then you can always stick together if it gets a bit much with too many other people around. Or you could just go for an hour so as not to overface you? Little and often maybe? Go for it though, you have made this one good friend and there might be others out there just waiting to meet you! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sim 1 wrote: »
    Hi there Grahaminneed ,

    Would the friend you made at the party go with you if you did go and hang out with the others? This might make you feel easier about it all, going with someone is much easier than going on your own and then you can always stick together if it gets a bit much with too many other people around. Or you could just go for an hour so as not to overface you? Little and often maybe? Go for it though, you have made this one good friend and there might be others out there just waiting to meet you! :)

    I doubt it, were not really close. Usually when i encounter a group of people who i dontk now theyre all laughing at stuff i aint got a clue about and it just makes me feel left out because i dont understand..its so annoying
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Boards Champion
    Like i had no problem with meeting 1 new person at that party but people ask me u shud come out with us lot at the weekend etc etc and id love to but theres loads of em and i wouldnt be comfortable at all..

    Ahh, I totally see what you mean now. How about you give yourself a time limit for going out - like you say I'm gonna go out for a couple of hours with the group and see what happens, but have a back-up plan to do something else after that set time? It might take the pressure off a bit. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **helen** wrote: »
    Ahh, I totally see what you mean now. How about you give yourself a time limit for going out - like you say I'm gonna go out for a couple of hours with the group and see what happens, but have a back-up plan to do something else after that set time? It might take the pressure off a bit. :)

    I think i will when the oppotunity arises and its somewhere where id enjoy instead of a cold wet park drinking white shite
    =]
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