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Followed on from thread on love... how long was it before you moved in together?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
As above. So basically, we knew we were going to go our separate ways at the end of the summer - she is 26 and would like to start a career, I am 20 and have to finish my degree - but now it has come to the point where we cant bear to separate for even a day, and so have realised that it is simply not going to happen.
My girlfriend, lets call her frenchie, was in a very tempestuous long term, mostly long distance relationship for 3 years, and does not wish to repeat it, and as i also have treaded that path, me neither. So our other option is that she comes to edinburgh. Which it now seems she is going to do. We will have been together only six months when she arrives, but we are trying to see it from the point of view, that she is there to learn english, not only to be with me.
The other thing is that after much thought and discussion, we have decided to live together. It will be far cheaper, she will have support and someone to help her with the language, a ready made group of friends and a person with her who will always understand her. Like i said in the other thread, we have only spent one night apart in the last two months, but there has never been any friction, we have always talked over any problems or ill feelings rather than let them escalate. But ofcourse living together after 6months only will be stressful for her, we might feel suffocated, she will be in an alien country, culture and language and I will be trying to live my old life, but differently.
0f course we have discussed the consequences of what might go wrong, but have come to the conclusion that we love eachother enough for it to be worth the risk - it would be better to separate after two months of living together, than to hang on for another two years of long distance. She wont lose anything but time - she has no other commitments in her life at the moment, and will have perfected her english.
So i just want to have other peoples opinions, experiences, so we can be better prepared for what might happen.
My girlfriend, lets call her frenchie, was in a very tempestuous long term, mostly long distance relationship for 3 years, and does not wish to repeat it, and as i also have treaded that path, me neither. So our other option is that she comes to edinburgh. Which it now seems she is going to do. We will have been together only six months when she arrives, but we are trying to see it from the point of view, that she is there to learn english, not only to be with me.
The other thing is that after much thought and discussion, we have decided to live together. It will be far cheaper, she will have support and someone to help her with the language, a ready made group of friends and a person with her who will always understand her. Like i said in the other thread, we have only spent one night apart in the last two months, but there has never been any friction, we have always talked over any problems or ill feelings rather than let them escalate. But ofcourse living together after 6months only will be stressful for her, we might feel suffocated, she will be in an alien country, culture and language and I will be trying to live my old life, but differently.
0f course we have discussed the consequences of what might go wrong, but have come to the conclusion that we love eachother enough for it to be worth the risk - it would be better to separate after two months of living together, than to hang on for another two years of long distance. She wont lose anything but time - she has no other commitments in her life at the moment, and will have perfected her english.
So i just want to have other peoples opinions, experiences, so we can be better prepared for what might happen.
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9 years in august together and that living together is 8years + 9months! And 2 gorg daughters who are 7years and 3 years in august also.
Our lucky month i reck
You guys seemed to have discussed it a lot and thought about the consequences etc. My boyfriend drives me crazy with some of his habits and vice versa, but after 3 years I still look forward to hearing his key turn in the door.
That is adooooorable!
I think I've romantised it too much
You mentioned something about having a ready made group of friends - are these your friends? I think if I was starting out in a new place where my partner was in familiar territory, I think I'd like some time to get to know new people I could call my 'own' which may make me spend a little less time than usual with my partner. That's the only think I could think of, off the top of my head.
It sounds like you've weighed up the pros and cons of it and that's all you can do really. If it feels right you'll be in a much better place for it to work. I'd just echo was go_away said about giving her time to make her own friends.
Thats a lovely line!
We then decided to make it official, I returned to England for 3 months and then I came back over to Australia where we lived together from the start.
Even though we had known eachother for quite a long time, we didn't know eachother in person that well. It was probably a bit too soon to move in together, but we didn't have much of a choice under the circumstances. It's been very difficult and troubled at times, but we pulled through all the bullshit and now we're very happy and still very much in love.
It probably was a little soon to move in together, but we've gone through all the stress. We've had to do it again in china as he can't speak the language so he's been depending on me, so having gone through it twice, it's possible to get through.
We'd been dating around 3-4 months, and I had moved into a 1 bed place. Due to clashing working hours, and living opposite ends of London, we barely saw each other, and she ended up leaving stuff at my place for when she did stay. In the end, I just asked her if she wanted to try it on a short term basis, so she could leave easily if it didn't work out... Well, one year on, and we've just moved into a brand new penthouse together.
You have to take some risks in life. Not all will pay off, but thankfully this one did
We have had very conflicting schedules so far though, I work shifts and he has had work and uni and of course the daughter occasionally. I think it's helped in the sense that it keeps the time together precious. It's not been many days where we have had entire afternoons or weekends together.
just kidding