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I really dont know what to do help me please
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi
I have never felt so low and down in my life my fiance works as a manager of a pub and a few months ago i found a phone on him that was his other women phone he is seeing these girls at work and textin them and spending our money that we need for our daughter on credit upon confronting him he said its because he has a big ego and needs it fillin and he got rid of the sim and i took all the mobiles off him except the one i know about which is the one i get in contact with him on i then check this phone cause i have no trust for him any more and he knows this i then found last nifght that a couple of the girls that he was texting on his other phone he has got there numbers again but in his normal phone so i delelted them so i now know that there are still going to his pub and he is still chatting them up i love him so much and i know he has never cheated on me but im starting to think its only a matter of time before he does omg god please someone gieve me some answers im so upset over this and really need help i just think im been taken for a fool but i dont want to leave him because of our daughter
xx
I have never felt so low and down in my life my fiance works as a manager of a pub and a few months ago i found a phone on him that was his other women phone he is seeing these girls at work and textin them and spending our money that we need for our daughter on credit upon confronting him he said its because he has a big ego and needs it fillin and he got rid of the sim and i took all the mobiles off him except the one i know about which is the one i get in contact with him on i then check this phone cause i have no trust for him any more and he knows this i then found last nifght that a couple of the girls that he was texting on his other phone he has got there numbers again but in his normal phone so i delelted them so i now know that there are still going to his pub and he is still chatting them up i love him so much and i know he has never cheated on me but im starting to think its only a matter of time before he does omg god please someone gieve me some answers im so upset over this and really need help i just think im been taken for a fool but i dont want to leave him because of our daughter
xx
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Comments
It sounds like he's a proper cunt and it's only matter of time before he cheats.
I mean as crazy as this sounds, if he at least tried to delete the txts so you don't see them, you could kinda say he's sparing your feelings - but if he's happy to let you see them.... he either the biggest dickhead in the world or has no regard for your wellbeing at all.
Anyway from what you've said, it seems he treats you with very little respect. Your love for him has blinded you - I can't see him changing he's ways without you putting your foot down, or even leaving him.
Do you have any friends/family that you and your daughter could live with? I'm not suggesting you leave him now, just have a place to go just in case things get too much for you.
mum being happy with a man who loves her and treats her with respect, or
mum being stuck with a complete cunt who fucks anything that moves.
I'm sorry, but if he's got a secret phone for messaging girls from work then it's almost certain he has done something with at least one of them. If you think that he's never cheated on you then you're deluding yourself. What's worse, he will always do it because you stay with him regardless of his behaviour.
I think you're using your daughter as an excuse to not make the hard decisions about where your life and your relationship is going. It's understandable to do this, it's a tough decision to walk out on someone, especially the father of your child. But can you seriously see yourself marrying someone who keeps a secret phone for his fancy women? And if you do marry him and stick with him, what sort of an example is that for your daughter?
Allow this to continue happening, marry him, and you're consigning yourself to a lifetime of staying at home changing shitty nappies whilst he lives it up like a lord with any bit of fluff that moves. Is that really what you want from life? To be the put-up woman stuck at home whilst he fucks his way round town?
You need to kick him out and I think you know that you need to do it. Don't be scared of making a decision like this because life is way too short to be stuck with a man who has so little respect for you that he has a phone full of fancy women. And then tries to blame you for it by saying you don't 'fulfil his needs' and 'keep his ego up'.
It sounds to me that this guy is being very selfish and not considering your needs at all. I think its time he grew up and accepted his responsabilities to you and your daughter.
we all like to be admired and it ups our self confidence but he is taking it to the extreeme. I feel for you i really do, this must be tearing you up. I was engaged once to someone very similar, who had to be the center of attention and needed people to like him. We eventually split up but i realised he did this because he was very insecure in himself and needed reasurance.
If you want this to work you need to sit down and talk, tell him how you feel and what you need, and get him to tell you how he feels and what he needs. This is a relationship, there are only two people in it, you both can have friends but him bringing other women into it is not going to work. I read a really good book once called his needs her needs, i cant remember the authour. But if you google it, it should come up. it is a book for you both to read and discuss, things in this book are shockingly right about relationships.
Really hope you get things sorted, let me know how you get on
Hope this helps
Becky:)
If i were you, I would really put your and your daughters happinness and future first......what ever step you take, it is going to be hard, but I can almost guarantee that is will just get harder to stay with this fella, rather than live without him.....
really, he doesnt deserve your love, time, care.............and definately not your respect.......good luck, and no matter what, things will get brighter.....I promise! slowly but surely they will.
(sorry, Im new here, hope that doesnt sound too old ladyish - and be assured, I have had my fiar share of hurt and am about to go thro it all again, so really do symapthise with you)