Next step....

I wasn't sure where to put this as it has crossovers eg health and sex, but i'll put it here.

Anyway i'll try and cut a long story short.

When I was a teenager I was bullied and criticised a lot. This affected my self esteem and confidence and I had two psychotic episodes at university.

I feel I've come through it now and am a stronger person and have got a lot from being involved with MIND since university.

Anyway a lot of what was said to me was criticism about my appearance, personality and chances with girls.

There's quite a lot I could write, but i'll have to keep it short.

Basically I started university and didn't really expect to make friends or any girls to like me because I had low self esteem because of what was said.

Anyway since going to university I've done well making friends and made plenty since university. I feel I'm constantly on the up and have had a lot more compliments than I got as a teenager lets put it that way.

Mental health problems are complicated, but the basis is the GP said she thought I was really repressed as a teenager and also had low esteem and confidence, thought negatively about myself.

I'm 24 now and i've come a long way since 19 when I was ill.

Basically with girls I never expected anything as I thought I was ugly from what I was told and that I 'had nothing going for me.'

So far I've asked out 4 with 1 yes and 3 nos, but with the yes we didn't click. A few people have asked for my number. Disappointingly I got asked out on my year abroad in France 3 years ago, but got ill again so never went out with her.

Ive just found things confusing as I had low esteem confidence and never expected girls to like me, but i've even been told I am good looking by one or two girls and female friends gave me reassurance at university that 'there was nothing wrong with me.'

Anyway I have kissed a handful of girls when I have been out and been approached a few times, but I've never had a girlfriend or had sex.

I've not really approached many girls mainly due to lack of confidence, but then also I've just thought it just feels a bit weird kissing some random person.

I'm in the position where I feel a lot better about myself, but wouldn't say I feel confident with girls yet.

I think I've done ok, but seeing as I 've had low expectations kissing 8 girls since 18 isn't a lot.

I'm just looking for some pointers - I'd rather have a girlfriend than kiss lots of random people. I guess I just have to try and put myself out there, but all the girls I like are already taken.

I met a girl I like the look of in work, so I figure I may as well try - who knows ?

Is it just the law of averages ?
Will the right girl be bothered about my lack of experience/understand why it's taken me a while to become more confident ?

Basically I feel like a complete novice - I don't really know how to approach a girl in a bar/ don't have much dating experience. Just any thoughts will help.

I think I've developed enough now to think I have lots to offer someone and I think I'd be a good boyfriend to someone, but I would definitely like to meet someone special and have some companionship.

It must be natural to want a girlfriend, but I think I've been messed about a lot and so it's only now I feel ok about it.

I remember someone said to me last year she couldn't believe I knew how many girls I'd kissed...maybe that says something...obviously she didn't know about being bullied and being ill etc.

Anyway I'm just looking for some thoughts/advice as I'm a complete novice really, but would very much like to meet a special someone sooner rather than later.

I just find it weird with other people and I look at them and the way they are...maybe they were never messed around as teenagers, but Ive met lots of people through MIND who have been ill because of their teenage years, so i'm not alone.

Anyway I think I'm more ready for a girlfriend now, but I find it difficult.

Any thoughts please