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Is life like a train ride ?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
The way I look at it life is like a train ride and people get on and off your train and it's the same for everyone.
I guess I want to know why it is some people have stayed on my train and others haven't.
I've stayed in touch with most of my school friends. Since leaving university I've found some of my friends there are good ones.
With some I sent them messages and they didn't reply so I just left it. Maybe they 'moved on.'
Since leaving though I have joined a film club and made some good friends there and made friends in other areas.
I guess what I want to know is why do people get off the train ? Is it distance/changing circumstances or a variety of factors ?
I've felt sad at times since leaving university about losing touch with people, but then I've moved on by making more friends myself.
I think it's just life though and that all you can do is say c'est la vie sometimes and be grateful they were there for whatever time period.
I think that's the way it is though ie life's a train and some people stay on a long time whilst others get off sooner.
Is that the way it is ?
I guess I want to know why it is some people have stayed on my train and others haven't.
I've stayed in touch with most of my school friends. Since leaving university I've found some of my friends there are good ones.
With some I sent them messages and they didn't reply so I just left it. Maybe they 'moved on.'
Since leaving though I have joined a film club and made some good friends there and made friends in other areas.
I guess what I want to know is why do people get off the train ? Is it distance/changing circumstances or a variety of factors ?
I've felt sad at times since leaving university about losing touch with people, but then I've moved on by making more friends myself.
I think it's just life though and that all you can do is say c'est la vie sometimes and be grateful they were there for whatever time period.
I think that's the way it is though ie life's a train and some people stay on a long time whilst others get off sooner.
Is that the way it is ?
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Comments
There are so many reasons. The main two i would say are work commitments and finding a partner.
Time, money, effort and interests i would say decide a lot of things in life. I moved from England to Ireland and lost contact with nearly all my friends. I don't go out much over here because don't feel that much for anyone i have met. So because the interest isn't there im not going to waste my time, money and effort. Thats a bigeason but it can just be small things sometimes to. When i was in England i had a lot of friends some of whom just liked partying all the time. I didn't hang round with them somtimes just for the fact that i didn't want to drink loads and waste money.
When you have met a lot of different people it really isn't likely that you will stay friends with them all. The list of reasons why not is endless. At the same time, if you don't stay in contact doesn't mean they stop being yur friend either. When i go back to visit and see people that i haven't seen in ages, after about 10 mins its like i never left, thats what i would call a friend.
*loads shotgun and goes to find Ronan Keating*
Hurray!! :yippe:
Thanks for the replies.
So yeah my experience has been I had around 5-10 friends at school, but since university have made a lot more friends, but lost some along the way.
I feel now there might be some friends I know for a long time, but others got off the train fairly quickly. I just wasn't sure why - I got on really well with some people and then it just seemed to stop after leaving university.
However with others from university we are still very much in contact and since leaving i've met some great new people.
Maybe as you say there are lots of different factors...
It's all meant to end and then renew differently. Friendships, relationships, jobs, family - humans need changes within their lives else what's the point of living if its all the same. New challenges and goals give us something to strive for and keep us going.
People 'get off' each other's trains because our very nature demands it. You can't fight human nature, although I do give it a good go!
What I've found quite often with friends is that I mainly hear from people who live near me...when I was at university I only really heard off friends there and not from school friends who were away in other cities...so I think geography has a lot to do with things and that if people live a bit apart from each other there isn't that much contact. One my friends from uni said he rarely speaks to his flatmates when there is distance - I think it's because people are just living their separate lives and they don't see the need.
Since university I've moved back home and made some good friends there and also met people when I went to France which was good.
In terms of trying to stay in touch with people I've found with some people I tried to stay in touch and they didn't reply so decided to leave it, with others I put the effort in with them, but I'm not sure if they are just bad at staying in touch or don't really ring anyone/are very busy and with some they stay in touch with no problem. I'm referring to friends in all areas here.
Basically I do want to maintain friendships, but it's impossible to stay in touch with everyone. I'm not sure if a lot of people move through life and then when they meet new people they discard the old to some degree.
I've tried to stay in touch with older friends and have stayed in touch with some people from school and university, but then I've made new friends in the last year and a half. Someone once said that sometimes you have to cut friends out or you'd have a million friends. In some respects I feel he's right.
I think losing touch with friends is sad, but then I guess the key is if it happens you just have to move on and meet new people.
Do you think it's always worth the effort to maintain older friendships/friendships in general ?
Is it normal to feel a bit sad when you lose touch with someone ?
When do you know someone is definitely 'off the train' ?
I just think that when I've got a friend/friends I really like it's normal to be attached emotionally in some respect, so it probably is normal to feel a bit sad at friendships ending, but it's not a permanent sadness as I've met new people/new friends.
I guess if you lose a friend you should never take it personally, but it just seems it's a case of that's life and it's the same for everyone.
Sorry for the long message, but i'm just trying to clarify my thoughts as friends are important to me, but I just need to make sure i've got it right in my head....I dont think I should cut anyone out unless i'm pretty sure they are 'off the train.'