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Is it forgivable??

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hi all just found out that before my boyfriend of 3 years moved in with me he text his ex girlfriend (mother of his child) and asked if there was any chance they could get back together before he makes a proper commitment to me. She said no so he moved in. I have only just found out now after him living here for 6 months with me and my 2 boys ( from a previous relationship) I dont know what to do he says he doesnt know why he text her he loves me blah blah ....
Any ideas do i forgive? I feel like he is only with me coz she knocked him back and like i'm second prize???? HELP!!!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It certainly sounds like he initially thought you were second best, but he may have improved his opinion of your relationship since moving in.

    Do you argue with each other a lot? Is he moody? Does he want to go out with his mates all the time? It would be signs like this that would make me question his commitment but, if everything is going hunkydory, perhaps it is worth giving him the benefit of the doubt.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it's more that he recognised that moving in with you meant he was committing himself to be a full-time father to your children instead of his - a big step, and easier to make safe in the knowledge that he wasn't giving up his child to take it.

    If the answer had been maybe, then the decision would have been much harder for him, but that doesn't mean it would have been a different one.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Big Gay wrote: »
    I think it's more that he recognised that moving in with you meant he was committing himself to be a full-time father to your children instead of his

    Good point, Mr Big Gay. :yes:

    And a point to emphasise that perhaps you need to give him the benefit of the doubt if he is cohabiting well with you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah we get on brilliant we never argue that is why i am so shocked by what he has done.
    I can tell he loves me thats why i dont understand it he claims to hate his ex??
    I am gonna try and work through it i think, i might regret it if i dont at least try. I know it is gonna be hard and i dont know if i can look at him the same only time will tell i suppose.
    Thanks for the advice guys xx
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