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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So
I have been with my boyfriend just short of a year. Things have been amazing, no fighting at all. With my ex ( 4 years) everything was a fight, a verry bad relationship indeed. My current Boyfriend was my first " everything" . So I call him up the other night to talk, I felt like somthing was wrong, I asked him if everything was ok he said yes ect, I didnt buy it so i kept digging, I asked " do you still want a life with me?" and he replys " i dont know what i want anymore".
Just to help the people giving advise, My boyfriend is terrible with wording things, he doesnt like to let his emotions show well, and hes not a big talker. We also spend soooo much time together, like every day and i know that can have a bad effect.
So of corse i freak out, after all he has said like " i want to marry you have kids ect" blah blah over the past year, and feeling the same nasty feelings with my Ex hit a sore spot. I go to his house bc i didnt want to discuss the matter over the phone.
I get there and hes all Huggy and what not, i ask him what he means, and he says he doesnt know, so i ask things like
" do you want a life with me?" he answers " idk i think so but Idk"
" than she would end this relationship?" he says " no nono i love you and dont want to loose you
" than what is the problem?" once agin idk.
So i tell him that im not dealing with somone playing with my emotions that way and that Im gone if he feels taht way, he says " no no no, i know i want a realationship with you i just have been feeling weird lately" He contiues to tell me he feels like he hasnt done anything, or has a life, other than our realationship and that he misses the things he used to do, like hobbies ect. Bc we are always together so he never gets time to himself, but that he defiantly wants to have a life with me ect.
We agree to give eachother space and all is fine.
Now its only been a few days, But Im Hoping that somone has been through this before, what they did ect. or from a guys POV. Im worried that he might just feel bad and not want to go through with ending it or somthing, although i dont know why I told him straight that if it was done its done and that i wasnt going to wait around to get hurt.
Please Help! I hate feeling this paranoid, i always want to call and talk over and over agin about it..but i know guys hate that so im trying to be good:crazyeyes
I have been with my boyfriend just short of a year. Things have been amazing, no fighting at all. With my ex ( 4 years) everything was a fight, a verry bad relationship indeed. My current Boyfriend was my first " everything" . So I call him up the other night to talk, I felt like somthing was wrong, I asked him if everything was ok he said yes ect, I didnt buy it so i kept digging, I asked " do you still want a life with me?" and he replys " i dont know what i want anymore".
Just to help the people giving advise, My boyfriend is terrible with wording things, he doesnt like to let his emotions show well, and hes not a big talker. We also spend soooo much time together, like every day and i know that can have a bad effect.
So of corse i freak out, after all he has said like " i want to marry you have kids ect" blah blah over the past year, and feeling the same nasty feelings with my Ex hit a sore spot. I go to his house bc i didnt want to discuss the matter over the phone.
I get there and hes all Huggy and what not, i ask him what he means, and he says he doesnt know, so i ask things like
" do you want a life with me?" he answers " idk i think so but Idk"
" than she would end this relationship?" he says " no nono i love you and dont want to loose you
" than what is the problem?" once agin idk.
So i tell him that im not dealing with somone playing with my emotions that way and that Im gone if he feels taht way, he says " no no no, i know i want a realationship with you i just have been feeling weird lately" He contiues to tell me he feels like he hasnt done anything, or has a life, other than our realationship and that he misses the things he used to do, like hobbies ect. Bc we are always together so he never gets time to himself, but that he defiantly wants to have a life with me ect.
We agree to give eachother space and all is fine.
Now its only been a few days, But Im Hoping that somone has been through this before, what they did ect. or from a guys POV. Im worried that he might just feel bad and not want to go through with ending it or somthing, although i dont know why I told him straight that if it was done its done and that i wasnt going to wait around to get hurt.
Please Help! I hate feeling this paranoid, i always want to call and talk over and over agin about it..but i know guys hate that so im trying to be good:crazyeyes
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Comments
Sucks how that works sometimes but it happens.
When he says "I don't know" he probably does but just can't think of a way to say it or he can't bring himself to say it. Give him a bit of space, let him come up with a way of describing how he's feeling.
Sometimes I'm a bit low, but after a few hours to myself I'm fine.
As a male I agree entirely with that statement- I find it hard to voice my emotions to people, its just one of those things....
Personally one of the things I hate is when people ask me 'whats wrong?'
I'll say 'nothing' & expect that to be that; but they keep asking! Look Ive said nothing now lets drop it
Give your man a bit of space to let him clear his head, he needs to breathe & find what he wants- he evidently wants to be with you as he is playful & hugful when he sees you. It may sound odd but he may not actually like being apart from you- if he is all effectionate when he is with you & different when you are apart, then he may simply want to be with you. If that makes sense. Maybe he is thinking that this is the relationship that will last a lifetime. Me & my g/f moved in after less than a year (after I was kicked out by my parents) & 6 years later we are married & have 2 amazing children. Im not suggesting you move in but I hope you know what Im saying- see men really arent good with words!!
Don't be all "let's end this relationship then" on his ass, because that sure doesn't make it better.
INTAMACY
When it comes to women that's where I fail big time.