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chatting up a lady

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey guys, new to the site. reasonably long thread so bear with me :) read around and there seems to be a fair bit of really good advice. im likin the vibe.. :) its another repetitive type question, so im sorry, but basically im nearly 20, at uni and i find it really difficult talking to girls in bars/clubs. at uni i find it ridiculously easy to talk to girls and make friends with them etc, however when it comes to a girl i like/find attractive my mind goes blank for some reason. :chin:

when im out i seem to get signals from girls but i fail to act on them because i dont really know what to do/say. ill give you an example that happened last week. was in a bar with a mate playing pool. this girl comes over, hovers for a minute or so and then she asks if she can play next - whilst at the same time being really forward with her body languag. i obliged. about a minute later im about to take a shot and she grabs my arse and my mind goes blank...wtf?:eek2: i didnt know wt to do..so i just kinda..ignored it and then later felt like a complete dick :banghead:

any ideas?
:thumb:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its all about banter mate. You just need to get an ice breaker in and go naturally with it. Have your wits about you and be on the ball.

    In that situation, when she grabbed your arse, why not say summat like

    "Cheeky!! Tell you what lets make the game more interesting, you win you can do it again, I win I'll get you back"

    It's hardly pick up line of the year, nor Shakespeare but just a roll off the tongue comment and as shes obviously interested the conversation will flow from there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im likin it, but how can you twist that round into a bar/club situation?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Get a portable pool table?:D

    Just do a similar thing, but obviously offer to buy them a drink instead - it all depends on the situation - you can really have a 'one size fits all situations' malarkey!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there glad your enjoying site i loue it just be yourself ask a girl you like you fancy a drink maybe+just start chating i have that prob with girls too :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    as z0ma suggests, good banter is key.
    Just remember that 9 out of 10 times if you don't ask you don't get. Just put the work in, what do you have to lose by putting yourself out there? (other than pride, but that grows back so don't worry about it! ;))
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote: »
    as z0ma suggests, good banter is key.
    Just remember that 9 out of 10 times if you don't ask you don't get. Just put the work in, what do you have to lose by putting yourself out there? (other than pride, but that grows back so don't worry about it! ;))

    i know what your saying. but you cant go straight up to a girl in a bar/club, tell them your name, ask them theirs and then say can i buy you a drink? theres no panache to it. how can i be witty without being given something to work with, unless your saying that that would happen once we start talking?? :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Who needs panache!? I don't see the point in beating around the bush, if i see someone i like the look of in a club i'll generally just pick a good moment, walk over with a big smile and say hello. Then judging by how the situation unfolds, ask if she has a boyfriend (thus offering an escape route if she should want it) then if she doesn't ask for her number.
    From this you can either stick around and chat for a bit or make your excuses and leave with the promise to call her.
    On the flip side of this if you get rejected, most girls are really nice about it and the nasty ones are not worth your time anyway.
    It's all about confidence - getting rejected in a club is nothing, and it's also better than wondering what if.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just be yourself as well. Try and be relaxed it is normal to not find it easy to chat to someone of the opposite sex in one situation and then in another. I would try to make a conversation with them even if it is difficult for you just to break the ice. Once you have broken the ice you could and can ask her for a drink. There is no harm in asking.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    becks27 wrote: »
    Just be yourself as well. Try and be relaxed it is normal to not find it easy to chat to someone of the opposite sex in one situation and then in another. I would try to make a conversation with them even if it is difficult for you just to break the ice. Once you have broken the ice you could and can ask her for a drink. There is no harm in asking.

    yeah do girls understand how difficult approaching a girl actually is? if so it would soften the blow a bit. cheers for your input so far guys :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This any help?

    www.topdatingtips.com
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know what your saying. but you cant go straight up to a girl in a bar/club, tell them your name, ask them theirs and then say can i buy you a drink? theres no panache to it. how can i be witty without being given something to work with, unless your saying that that would happen once we start talking?? :chin:

    There is more than enough panache in just going straight up to a girl. Also, if you get rejected by a girl just go under the theory that "It's her loss",don't even consider that it may have been your problem, it's hers. She is missing out on the opportunity to get to know a perfectly nice guy.
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