Should i cancel or not?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
In a bit of a dilemma..

I have been chatting to this guy, (lets call him dave), from a dating site for almost 4 weeks, had planned to meet up this saturday for a date...Dave is nice, although i feel we dont have too much in common at present..

Dilema...
I went over to my friends house last weekend, as we were going to go out. She had been planning to meet up with a new guy in feb, that she had been talking to for a number of weeks, but he had managed to persuade his mate to come out to where we were going, so they could meet up for the first time a lot earlier than feb!
New guy comes over with his mate (lets call him tim)..at first i wasnt too sure bout tim, but as the evening went on, i found we had sooo much in common and really hit it off! I really felt we had a connection, which I havent really had with a guy before, or not in a long time! I really want to see him again..

But now im not sure if i should cancel the date with dave this saturday...:confused:
And if I do, what do i tell him? Id like to be honest, but i cant say that i met a guy less than a week ago whom i really hit it off with can i...!?!

Now, in my head, im not seeing it as much of a date as i did before..so am i leading dave under false impressions?

Just looking for a bit of advice..dont be too mean!
Thanks :)

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i had a friend who used a dating site, and i imagine his approach was comparable to a lot of other guys - he was messaging a LOT of people. even to a fairly 'serious' level, in order for it to make financial sense, you're probably reckoning on messaging 3 or 4 people. some you'll meet, some you'll like etc. it's the law of averages.

    i'd meet up with the guy (taking all obvious precautions of course!). it's not like you've agreed to marry him. there's not really much wrong with getting to know two people at the same time.

    i assume you switched numbers with this 'tim' character and are planning to meet up again? if not, the question is somewhat void, surely?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Meeting someone on the net does not give you a true indication of what the person is like. They are just reflecting a persona that could easily be misread by you. He may have body odour, he may be very quiet, he may pick his nose. These things can't be picked up on via the web.

    So, I would suggest that you see Tim. You KNOW what he is like, you know you enjoy his company, you know so much more about him. Would you have felt the same about him if you had read his profile, if he had one? Probably not. A face-to-face connection is far stronger than one on the net.

    Thing is, you aren't going out with Tim or even know if you WILL go out. So just tell Dave that something has come up and that you're really sorry to let him down. Then, if Tim isn't the guy, hook up with Dave. These things happen. You aren't beholden to Dave and you only have one life to live. Go with what's real.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey phoenix,
    I guess I shouldn't feel any pressure bout this weekend..if anything, it's a new friendship :) I have met with a couple others over the past 7months, but nothing has really cropped up...

    I have switched numbers with 'tim', and we've been chatting a lot since...should be meeting up during half term holiday.. Cant wait!

    Thanks for the advice :-)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teagan wrote: »
    Meeting someone on the net does not give you a true indication of what the person is like. They are just reflecting a persona that could easily be misread by you. He may have body odour, he may be very quiet, he may pick his nose. These things can't be picked up on via the web.

    So, I would suggest that you see Tim. You KNOW what he is like, you know you enjoy his company, you know so much more about him. Would you have felt the same about him if you had read his profile, if he had one? Probably not. A face-to-face connection is far stronger than one on the net.

    Thing is, you aren't going out with Tim or even know if you WILL go out. So just tell Dave that something has come up and that you're really sorry to let him down. Then, if Tim isn't the guy, hook up with Dave. These things happen. You aren't beholden to Dave and you only have one life to live. Go with what's real.

    Again, good advice..and i feel like i should just cancel saturday for the time being for my own mentality! But then i feel like i should meet up with him, as we had arranged it before id met Tim...

    Its so true that you can find out so much more bout someone youve met, rather than through an online profile...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    don't put your eggs in one basket! its not like your cheating by seeing this dave guy...he could be shit, but he could be the love of your life. see both once more...and then make the decision.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks t_t, I think I will...I think i've been over thinking the situation! im just going to look forward to seeing the both of them! hehe x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cancelled in the end..and i was just honest. He's dissapointed, but appreciated me telling him. There we go!
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