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y am i so stupid??
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
yeah, i wanna know, i've fallen (sounds corny i no) badly for a girl at college, shes in my tutor so i see her at least once a week, and well, i just can't get her out of my head, i really really like her and well, i though it was going well but i found out tonight that shes with some one but its not offical but they've kissed, its just hit me really hard, idk what to do.
basically, shes funny, cute, pretty, clever and i though she liked me, any way, the guy shes with goes to college but i think hes 2nd year whilst we;re both 1st year, i've tried to drop subtle hints that i like her, for example telling her that i think shes really pretty, saying that i'm there if she needs to talk, having massive facebook conversations with her, etc. the thing is, that this isn't the first time that this sort of thing has happened, but i've never felt so shitty and stupid after finding out that their taken. I just really need some advice on what to do, its got me so down, i just feel shit
basically, shes funny, cute, pretty, clever and i though she liked me, any way, the guy shes with goes to college but i think hes 2nd year whilst we;re both 1st year, i've tried to drop subtle hints that i like her, for example telling her that i think shes really pretty, saying that i'm there if she needs to talk, having massive facebook conversations with her, etc. the thing is, that this isn't the first time that this sort of thing has happened, but i've never felt so shitty and stupid after finding out that their taken. I just really need some advice on what to do, its got me so down, i just feel shit
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"If you don't take risks, you don't gain anything!"
i don't want that to happen with this girl
and i no that if i don't take a chance i'll never find out but if i do, well, i just don't wanna go through that sort of thing again
i'm all for being once bitten twice shy, but she's seeming as though she's all for it with you, so i dunno what the problem is tbh. :razz:
You said it right there, if you don't take the chance you'll never find out. The not knowing might cause you more stress than it would if you went for it and got rejected. Reading into every little thing to try and know what she's thinking can be really frustrating.
You say you wouldn't want to lose what you had now or make things awkward so you stop speaking. If you do decide to go for it then maybe focus on the fact you seem to be building a good friendship and if that's all she wants that's fine but you just needed to get it out in the open. Asking someone out can be really scary but if you are good mates then you should be able to keep that in tact should things not go to plan.
Good luck
those of u that were on chat tonight will no that i arranged to meet up with this girl, take her to blockbuster and sweet talk her with ice cream and well, i was just chatting to her on face book and she said shes not interested ina relastionship and she's with someone, still not offical though, which is fucking annoying, but the reason its not offical is because the guy shes "with" was her best friends bf but broke up with her so he could be with the girl i like,
i no this sounds harsh whilst sort of fair, but for her friendships and my sake i hope that it doesn't work out quite quickly
still getting a dvd out with her on saturday, just gonna have to be careful about what i say and do
just feel so fucking stupid, i always fall for girls that either turn out to be complete bitches or not availble, gonna take a while for me to pull myself up, made me so depressed agian, not gonna go back to self harming, sworn i'm never gonna do that again
just have to get on wiht life really
i think she just means it as friends but idk, its just confusing me so much
ARRRGGGHHH!
sorry i no i've posted alot on this today but i just need to vent it all really, seems to help, better than cutting myself
Firstly, well done for taking the courage to go for it. It may seem from your experience that you always fall for the wrong people but that's nothing more than bad luck. It feels horrible but it wont always be that way.
For now she says she's 'taken' and you're hoping it wont last. That's understandable, but until things change maybe focus on being that lovely guy she thinks of you as. In whatever context she meant it, she clearly values your friendship and wants to hang out with you and a good friendship is the best basis for any relationship. You never know what the future could hold but it's also not much fun just always hoping things will turn into something more.
She knows how you feel now, maybe try and take a step back, that's hard but waiting for her to come to you could be your best bet?
Take care and keep posting
hung out a lot today at college and we're both gonna go the IOW festival so camping together, and i don't think its working out with the other guy, her best friend found out and is feeling right down so the girl i like is taking a step back, at least this is what i picked up on today
so feeling a tad better
but yeah we're meeting up in college tomorrow hopefully, so, more of a chat then she said
I understand that its not the right time to move as shes just called it off with someone else but i have absoululty no idea how long i should wait until i ask her out, any advice?