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problems with flatmates

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm one of a group of 5 girls who moved in together at the start of September. We were all friends until one decided to effetively move her boyfriend in. He lives 5mins up the road and nobody in the flat feels comfortable around him. He complains about the flat and about us.
We spoke to them a month after this started and she started sneaking him in, completely stopped talking to us and paying bills late. Suddenly after 3 months she stared talking to us again but now he has started leaving abusive notes for us and spreading rumours around university about us. Despite using more hot water (ie more showers and baths) than us and spending all night in front of the tv so we can't use it he does not pay anything towards bills.

We are all on our last nerve. Is there anything we can do? how can we get rid o him?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just tell him how it is thats what i think if she wants to be with her BF she should move in with him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try talk to the girlfriend and tell her how you feel about him living with you.
    She is closer to him and can talk to him about it. But if he has a problem living with you them tell him to find some where else. It isnt fair on ye girls. Ye should stick together and make a stand. KICK HIM OUT!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We spoke to her originally and she tried to say that we were perusing a 'vicious vendetta' to ruin their relationship because she needs to see him every day. Apparently we are the selfish ones. She tried to say that he was stressed however each one of us do more work in and out of uni that he does ever. This year he chose to share a room with his best friend (even though it was more expensive than for us to all have our own double rooms) so she won't stay in his flat.

    It's a little frustrating haha!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell the landlord.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If it's really getting to you tell the landlord. There is only certain number of people on his contract and if this guy is round all the time then I think it is a contract and a safety breach. Though if you take this action then I would suggest you check your contracts first becuase if it isn't individual contracts and she is asked to leave by said landlord then you might be asked to pay the remaining rent which would also be rubbish.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i believe you should check your contract, cos it's something I came across recently, there should be a clause which says "the tenant may not sublet etc" and words to that effect, and the live-in boyfriend is covered in that clause so she's in breach of contract. I think that the landlord can therefore chuck her out for that but you'd need to check who is liable for the rent.

    It caught my eye cos I'm a live-in girlfriend atm, but difference being that i don't annoy the housemates like your situation, and I pay my fair share of bills, cleaning etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey there :wave:

    It's difficult to ask someone to leave or even have a conversation about this issue without them taking it personally. From the sounds of it your flatmate is very much on the defensive and seeing it as an attack on her relationship.

    Perhaps aside from the fact you don't seem to get on with this guy, you could highlight the practical side of things more and suggest he can only be in the house when he's with your flatmate and that he has his showers and baths in his own place and if he doesn't like it he doesn't have to come round so much.

    However, communicating this without being confrontational is key and will hopefully make your flatmate see that in fact you chose to live with her and not her boyfriend.

    The fact that she can't really stay at his place means that you really need to find a compromise or else consider asking her to move out.
    Good luck and remeber you can always vent your frustrations here :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah. Tell the land lord. You dont even have to let your flat mate know you told. Your land lord could just ''happen'' to drop by and talk to them about the matter. Would it work?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They are so thick skinned I think it would go right over their heads as the last time we spoke to her she walked off in tears. I know it sounds harsh and insensitive but as I've known her for a long time, I know that she will cry just to win an argument.
    I think we will talk to them then talk to our agency, they are also a solicitors so hopefully they can give us advice. If he cares about her then he would make sure he didn't come round every night because it could cause her to loose her room.
    I think the only problem would be with rent but I'm sure if worst really did come to worst then we would be able to sort it out. We have had really bad luck with flats this year. Our last flat was so awful (broken boiler leaking CO, bug infestation, leaks etc despite paying rent at the top rande of the student market.) that we had to move within two months and try to get our deposit back which we partially managed despite the land lords selective knowledge of english.
    It's really a shame that they have ruined the atmosphere in the flat. Any other suggestions would be welcomed thou......we will try anything!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So talking didnt work. Hmm....... Well you could just kick them out. I know its mean and shes your friend but shes (excuse my language) being a right bitch.
    She can live with him. Or change the lock so he doesnt have a key and cant get in all the time? :banghead:
    It probly wouldnt work but it'd be funny to watch. :D
    Its tough.
    And ye wouldnt move? Ye could keep a look out for another flat.
    Theres more of ye than threr is of them stand up to them and make them listen.
    Complain to there faces and tell him hes being a dick.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    andy12345 wrote: »
    Sounds like they are just trying to dominate you all, ie bullying tactics to debase your confidence. Such horrible, immature people.

    Good luck with your tactics.

    To be fair it sounds like they dont even think they are doing anything wrong.
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